Is it normal i decided to stop seeing my family all together?

I cant decide to see my family anymore since my irritating mother has to bother me about it. I getting very irritated since I can no longer just hang out with them but its clear she hates me being around HER. Every-time I am over there she gives me all these rules and when I am no longer there asks if I followed them.

Every-time I am with family I basically have to be putting on a show to make her look good. If I behave too well she bitches at me for her not being able to talk shit, if I dont do everything she says she complains I made her look bad. I dont know why she cant just worry about herself and stop trying to control everyone.

I cant say anything to my family since they are going to tell me something is wrong with me. She also says I have to entertain her BF family which I do indeed do. I just hate my whole life has to be about making her look good because I came from her body. Im an adult and she still does this.

My family all likes me and my mother hates my guts. The reason they like me is the reason my mother hates me. Which is the fact I try to talk to them and have conversations.

If I question her she gets violent/confrontational. How do I convince her to just let me be my own person and stop harassing me? I am sick of being a pawn in her stupid competition. I dont want to make her look good and am very tempted to just make her look like complete shit to make her angry. I dont know who to tell about this or how to get help for it. I just sick of her already.

Its like she sees everyone as an extension of her and I dont know how to convince her that I am not that but I am a person. I sick of her treating me like her stupid toy poodle. I do love my family but as much as I do I dont think I can ever see them again. I cant really stand up for myself since every-time I do I get threatened and stop thrown at me and they just say "well call the cops I dare you."