Is it normal i'd rather be single than settle for less than what i want?

91% Normal
10 Comments

I don't just mean waiting for that "dream guy." I mean I would actually accept being single for the rest of my life knowing he doesn't exist. I'm okay being single, so I really don't mind staying that way unless I meet the guy I want.

I don't mean to offend the guys out there by saying the man I want is not out there. I'm not generalizing you guys and it's not that the guys I've met were bad people, they just weren't right for me. I'm not looking for someone with out faults. There are just certain standards I don't like compromising and every guy I've met has not exactly reached those standards.

Not that it matters, but my standards aren't too ridiculous. Lol I'm not looking for the flawless prince who treats me like a princess. God no. It's things like certain mannerisms, intelligence and ambition mixed with us having a good level of chemistry. Ha sounds like a formula.

Anyway, I get that people believe I would miss out on something great if I don't give other guys a chance, (which I sometimes do) but the truth is I am legitimately fine with being single. Maybe I'll change my mind 30 years from now, but right now I really can't accept compromising certain things and don't feel like settling for anything less than what I want.

is it normal to be that okay with being single and not want to settle.

Voting Results
91% Normal
Based on 33 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Earthgirl
    7 years ago

    Ah don't worry I feel the exact same, after coming out of a 5 year relationship I can't ever think of being with a man who was anything other than perfect

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    • Ellenna
      7 years ago

      Good luck with that

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  • CorruptedSoul
    7 years ago

    It's called being mentally healthy because you don't need another to "complete" you and give you value like other dumb girls that feel they're worthless without one

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Intelligence: How much is too much, and what is too little? Mannerisms: There's an infinite amount of choices. Which one are you aiming for?

    What I'm trying to say is, your standards may be more specific than you realize, and there's probably a deep underlying reason to why you're picking your partners so carefully.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Well thank you, Dr. Freud. ;P Lol

      With intelligence, I don't believe there's such a thing as "too much," but it would be a problem if he was arrogant about it. Mannerisms, I'll admit, are a little more complicated. I can't think of any specific details, to be honest, but mostly it's just not doing a bunch of little habitual things that annoy me. Don't even know if that makes sense. :P

      As for the deep reasons, many people have said that it could be some way of me avoiding to get hurt. Set the bar too high, no one can reach it. If no one reaches it, then there's no relationship. No relationship, no breakup. Though that may be easier to believe, I really don't think that is it. I'm not naive enough to say it absolutely cannot be because of that, but I am genuinely okay-great!, even-with being single. If I'm going to give that up for someone, I want that someone to be worth it for me.

      Does this clarify everything?

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      • Tealights
        7 years ago

        Awh, thank you. I wanted to become a psychologist at one point too, but that's not where my passion lies. xD

        Anyway, it sounds like for some reason, relationships seem like a huge waste of time and energy; so instead of going through the trial and error of dating, you've developed a mental checklist that varies depending on your mood, since you don't have any specific attributes you're looking for; which makes it harder for men.

        In the end, I wouldn't call it fear, but more of a, "Why bother?" All in all, your choice to be single isn't bad despite what people say, all it means that the older you get, the harder it will be to have children, but there's always adoption. Marriage, love, and all that can happen at anytime if you're open to it, but there's no rush.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          Interesting. Well you could have fooled me ;P

          Lol I guess I do see them as a waste of energy. The whole "Why bother?" thing is a more direct and easy way to put it. Lol. As for the kids, I absolutely do not want kids, so there's that. It's another thing most people keep telling me I'll change my mind on, but I highly doubt it. I like kids, but from a distance and in small doses. Haha Don't want to devote most of my adult life to them. Now that you say it, it makes sense. Love and marriage can happen any time, so no rush. ;P

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  • felixy
    7 years ago

    Words of a young woman. And as you make it through your 20s and your 30s, and your friends have marriages and start families, you will feel left behind. Your looks will fade and with it, your prospect of any knight--much less Prince Charming. Loneliness is a killer and it's a miserable death.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Dark....
      Actually, a bunch of my friends are married, have children, and lives of their own. I'll admit I miss the life I had with them, but I completely accept that that is how life goes. I don't, however, feel the need to find someone so I can no longer be left out of the group. And as for looks fading, sounds like the words of a superficial person. Lol. I try not to count on my looks to come up with an opinion of myself. I get that most of the world values others by their looks, but I don't want to be a part of that world and don't plan on changing that. And I know there are others that way too.
      Like I said, I know there's a chance I might change my mind, but if I do, I truly don't believe it will be because I'm sad and alone. I genuinely like being single, so if I am going to change that, it would have to be for someone worth it.

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    • Ellenna
      7 years ago

      It's possible to be single and not lonely, and partnered and lonely.

      As for fading looks, that does make it harder but not impossible: fortunately there are still some, not many but some people around who don't believe they can only be attracted to someone young and beautiful.

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