Is it normal i cant stop being too nice?

83% Normal
14 Comments

In my everyday life, I am too much of a people pleaser. I never say "no" when my friends/job asks me to do favors and I get taken advantage of ALL the time. I am aware of this and pretty much every day I say to myself "today is the day youre going to stop letting people push you around". But I don't seem to know how. Its so bad that I want to find a job where I really don't interact with people much at all.

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 24 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    You should try to be blunt. If you can't, there are other ways around it.

    Do people ask you for favors over text message? If so, tell them you are busy. Don't bother with paragraphs. A simple "I can't make it" or "I'm busy" will do. You don't owe everyone an explanation. If people are constantly calling, you don't have to answer your phone.

    Don't obligate yourself so much. Simply say something like "I don't know what my schedule will be like three weeks from now. I can't commit to that." Practice saying these things in the mirror if you need to.

    If your job/boss/co-worker is trying to make you stay later than you are supposed to, tell them you have something waiting for you at home that needs to be taken care of. Make up a fake responsibility if you have to. After a while, they'll get the hint.

    FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.

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    • wistfulmaiden
      9 years ago

      Thanks for the advice. I actually don't text much, its usually in person. People always asking if I can work for their weekend or if I can stay late...I think I will tell them I don't have a babysitter or my husband is working late. One good thing, I have a new boss who doesn't know me yet so she has no idea Im a pushover, so I can start new.

      I have a few friends who are always pushing me to buy products they are selling (Mary Kay, Girl Scouts etc0 but I really don't have the money. Its embarrassing to say Im broke so maybe I will just say a vague "Sorry I cant" and leave it at that.

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      • Parky_Parker
        9 years ago

        A husband and a child are an excuse to be utilized! ;)

        You can always say something like "I really don't need any at the moment" or "thanks, but I just bought a bunch of make-up/cookies last week" if they are still being persistent. My go to is always "no thanks" or "I think I'll pass." It feels more natural the more you use it and people will start to get the hint.

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    • stevieo
      9 years ago

      its easy to say that when you dont live with them i'm trying to get out.

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    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      You are awesome!

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      • Parky_Parker
        9 years ago

        Well, thank you!

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        • RoseIsabella
          9 years ago

          You're very welcome.

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  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    I use to be this way too. Now I just say no and leave it at that because Ive gotten to the point where I dont care if I piss people off.

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  • daydreamer394
    9 years ago

    In what universe is this normal?

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  • mlbryan44
    9 years ago

    If you just sucked a few cocks you would feel a lot better and so would the guys that you suck off. Make sense?

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  • stevieo
    9 years ago

    i'm still in this bullshit and trying to get a way out and i think i found a way i got to leave them alone cut them off of my life avoide them at all cost then start a new life with new people and with a new family.that the only i can see my self happy other then that they gonna keep bothering me untill i die.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    9 years ago

    I used to be that way. I stretched myself so thin that I ended up miserable. Nowadays, unless I want to do what is being asked of me, I just say "I'm too busy". Usually works.

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    • wistfulmaiden
      9 years ago

      Several kids in my high school used to borrow money from me all the time and acted like they were broke... I later found out they had a LOT more money than me especially from their parents. One of them ended up owing me over $1oo and I was too much of a wuss to ask for it back. SO I definitely don't let people borrow money anymore, at least.

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    • howaminotmyself
      9 years ago

      I use to be like this too. Then I had a kid and now people feel guilty when they ask too much of me and have since stopped.

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