Is it normal i cant do it

Sometimes i get desperate and say "fuck it" and decide to talk to an ugly girl online. I tell myself, its ok just lower your standards and it wont be so bad. I rationalize with stuff like "nobodys perfect" and "maybe she has cute friends" and "i do need to get laid" and "i bet she is fun and nice and has common interests"

And i prepare to start a conversation. Sometimes i even say Hello. And then like some kind of instinctual gut reaction, like a magnetic opposing force, i feel a strong resistance. Its like i Just. Can't. Do. It.

I cant drop to that low level. And suddenly i look closer at the chick and im like "God damn, that is an ugly person". I physically cannot even bring myself to make conversation with a girl like that. I cant even explain it. Im trying so hard to be nice and accepting and open minded but my body just wont physically let me do it