Is it normal i cant decide if i want to stay or leave him?

Sometimes the answer is in the question.......
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Maybe you're living with narcissistic abuse, and he's manipulating you?

Bleh. You picked the guy.

Ah, what the hell. I'll answer. Leave him. Regardless of his treatment, if somebody is asking themselves this question then obviously the relationship isn't right for the two involved.

Are the good times worth the bad ones?
Do you deserve to be treated like that? Is he the best you can do? Would you prefer better?

Draw straws? How the hell do I know how you decide? He is your boyfriend you know what your relationship is like, we don't. If you want to stay, stay. If you want to leave, leave. You need to make up your own mind. What is even the point of this question? How can strangers who know nothing about your relationship tell you what to do with the rest of your life?

I'd leave anyone, who was controlling.

If you have to ask the question, then isn't the answer obvious?

Leave him, for your own sake.

So unless you believe he's going to miraculously change and stop being so controlling, maybe you should take a break from him, even for a week or so, and then see how you feel.

Only you can decide if the happy times outweigh the unhappy ones, but you do need to keep in mind that he'll probably get more controlling as time goes by: is that what you want in your life?

It would be more helpful if you provided examples of the "controlling" and "coldness" behavior, and what he does to make you happy.

Duz he sometimes irritate u when hes around but u really miss him when ur away from him for too long? If so its normal cuz im going through the same thing, been together ten years now :)

How often do you fight? How does he and you act when you fight?

Me as an example; Going through a rough period with my boyfriend and the worst he does to me during our discussions? Looks angry or I hear in his voice that he´s angry.

He does not humiliate me or talk down to me.

Would I accept him being a total jerk to me? no, absolutely fucking not. Adult people should be able to inhale and exhale and not voice their angry thoughts.

It's pretty simple actually. The better way to look at it this in the future, not the present. Bad BF/GF relationships as you described don't get better, they get worse. If you think it's hard to walk away now, imagine being married to the jerk plus add a couple kids. There are plenty of future guys who will treat as you wish to be treated.

in short you need to decide what type of man you want to spend your life with and not settle for less than this . I would advise you to communicate your emotions with him and set a firm position on it ( kindly ) no need to yell it at him but if he doesn't respect your feelings enough to work with you to achieve balance back in the relationship well .. he is selfish and living a one sided life . You need to remove your thought pattern from your emotions ( you have been with him , have an attachment ) so when it's time to leave you will always naturally have doubts but you need to think of the bigger picture .. your life with this man , is it the one you want , will it make you happy inside , will you both be happy together ...and will the good far overwhelm the bad because everyone has disputes .. its how we deal with them and how often they occur that make a difference . The best advice I can give is to stop procrastinating , stop wasting each others time .. decide what you want , what you will live and love for ... and address this now .

I hope it works out , regardless the end result . keep us updated .

So yeah, my boyfriend and I kinda went through the same thing. He was really controlling and manipulative and very jealous of every time I was with a male friend for any occasion whatsoever and he'd act really cold and just.. I felt like a puppet. Anyway, I went to go break up with him because I was completely done being treated like shit and so I almost did but we ended up talking it out. We knew we loved each other and we were amazing together and we make each other happy, like you said in your post. He started working on it and it's so much better now, he gets jealous and snaps at me leas often... the point of this huge thing is to say maybe it'll work for you guys. Just try to talk it out and for us there was so much crying but we came out stronger than ever. If you guys are "meant to be" he should be able to realize how much he means to you and you to him and I'm not saying he should completely change, but just let him know how you really feel. Also, try to understand whatever reason he's acting the way he is, for me it was his jealousy, and get a better grasp on it. If you understand and change your way of thinking it can help out tremendously when you're thinking about how to "deal with it" when these situations come up.

I'm so sorry that this is so long, and I understand if you don't read this c: