Is it normal i can't get over a girl who flirted with me?

61% Normal
9 Comments

Hi all,

I m 39 years old and never had a girlfriend.
One day a young woman ( 25 years old )whom I know through work , wanted to learn from me the basic design skills required to get a project done. So I happily accepted without making a big deal out of it ( I knew she had a fiance ). The very first day we worked she told me how unhappy she was with her fiance. So I tried to reassure her and told her to take her time and make her feel better. As the time went by she kept seeing me on a daily basis. we talked, laughed etc... We talked a lot about ourselves and our personal lives. I found out how sad she was with her life ( she even cried a couple of times ).Then one day, out of the blue, she tells me on the phone she wanted to make babies. I wasn't sure what she really meant but being a gentleman and knowing she was engaged I decided not to go after that comment. I wanted her but I didn't want an affair.
Unfortunately through 4 months of being together I fell in love for her. So I asked her out, after she officially broke out.It was the first time I had such strong feelings for someone. She rejected me, acted weird on me and then ignored me for the next 6 months until I told her I couldn't accept being treated that way. Right after breaking up with her fiance of 7 years she told me she was in a new relationship with another guy just a month or two after her breakup. I feel miserable and awful. At the same time my friends tell me I dodged a bullet. But I can't help my feelings for her and so I run , every single day, to kill my emotional pain. I run about 40 to 60 miles a week. My physical pain from running is nothing compared to my emotional pain ( I have 3 toes turning black and about to lose my toe nails from all that running ). I have resigned to the fact that I ll never meet the woman I want to care for. I fell in love for the first time in my life and hope will never fall in love again.

Right now I have an excellent career in the aerospace industry but because I want to move on and forget her I am actively looking for a new job.

Alex , a broken man :( ......

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 49 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • curiousd
    11 years ago

    It's normal to not be over her, but I think you should get out there and start dating. Since you're 39 and have never had a girlfriend you may have misread this woman's signals. Maybe she just saw you as a friend and a confidante the whole time, but you thought she was flirting with you. Sounds like that may be the case. I am a female who has experienced friendships with men where the men thought there was something more, but I did not think of them as potential romantic partners. Maybe men need to tell us women what we're doing wrong in these friendships, because a lot of women find themselves in these situations. As for you, get out there and start socializing and dating. You should see a therapist or confide in close friends to help you get over this work girl.

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  • alex321
    10 years ago

    Thanks all for your comments. I realize I ve been played. I don't blame her and I don't blame myself. As an update I discovered meditation and practiced compassion. Now I ve been more involved in my activities. on top of my aerospace job i ve became a teacher at a university, a fitness instructor and helped many friends and family members in need. I advise for any of you who are in pain, take care of your body through workouts, eat well, find spirituality through either meditation or prayer and practice compassion towards anyone. Forgive and forget and live in the present. You will be a much happier and productive individual.

    Thank you all and bless you all.

    Alex321

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  • Mersaphe
    10 years ago

    She was playing games with you.

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    • sunshinemoonlight
      7 years ago

      sure sounds like it

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  • mexiguytex87
    11 years ago

    Maybe she wanted one last fling

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  • mexiguytex87
    11 years ago

    wow, not sure if this is real or some great creative writing. If real I agree with curious d. Get out there and let everyone know that your a great person! If this is fake I would like some writing tips!

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    • alex321
      11 years ago

      This is all real my friend

      However for those who like to say " just " go out there, I have been very active in the past years. I was part of a rowing team for 5 years ( twice team captain ) , took all sorts of art classes, been on many dating web sites, took tango classes, went to night clubs ( which i hate ) etc...

      It s much more complex than " just go out there " and think you ll find a potential mate.

      I am picky I admit but I m not looking for a top model.
      The one I fell for was pretty average looking to tell you the truth.

      You don t necessarily know all the facts about what she was doing . But she definitely flirted with me and fooled also my colleagues who were convinced she was after me.

      She also wanted to spend week-ends with me while she was engaged.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I exercise the pain away too.

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  • Marisol
    11 years ago

    I know exactly how you are feeling. I feel for you man. It is one of the worst things which can happen to any man or woman.

    I cannot give you any advice other than trying to forget her the best that you can. It might take you months, even years.

    I think that first true loves are the hardest to forget. I am still getting over someone; it has been almost a year.

    As much as I feel attraction towards other guys, although rarely; I cannot fall in love with anyone else.

    I look forward to the day when my heart heals. :)

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