Is it normal i can't find a guy unless i do online dating?

80% Normal
6 Comments

I am 22 and never had a bf before. 5'4 and 120 lbs. I am never approached or asked out on dates. I am not hit on that much but if it does happen, it is usually done by a guy I am not attracted to. Sometimes I might catch an attractive guy staring at me but he does not approach me. I am too shy to approach any guy or take an initiative. Is it normal to feel like I can only get a boyfriend if I do online dating?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 10 votes (8 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    You don't have to approach guys. You can always just smile, say hi or give a wave of recognition when you see a hot guy looking at you.

    One thing I have noticed is guys don't approach shy girls, probably because it means they'll have to hold the entire conversation. It takes a lot more effort for them to do this than to approach happy, talkative women.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • AgonLe
      6 years ago

      Thismis sound advice.

      I'm a strong black man in my 30s. 3e to be exact. No confidence problems. Easily will approach any woman I find attractive. Not a player, but of I'm single..married now so I don't live that life any ore...but if I'm single, I enjoy and will approach.

      But I notice, when I think about it, that I always hated approaching ones who were more shy. Like stated, it leaves ME to hold the WHOLE conversation. Then I become too conscious of myself.

      Am I saying the right thing? Is she really into me? She's not seeming like it cause she definitely isn't saying too much. Can't just read cues the WHOLE time cause that's how men get sexual harassment charges...oh god...is she THAT type? Everythings ok, but shy means I have to push and persuade and that can be taken out of context and I don't want to go to jail.....

      And after a while, I completely stopped approaching any woman who gave me cues of being shy. It's not worth the hassle. A talkative woman, even of not direct,I can read cues and see how far I can go or what to bring up and just enjoy without the mental hoops and loops.

      My added advice...undwrstand why you're shy.

      Most people are shy because they categorize. "All men are" or "All women are" and they start to look for clues that's based on what movies, their cousin or friends, or multiple talk shows and reality shows say. Instead of just enjoying the moment and using their own intuition.

      IF you learn to trust yourself, and you KNOW you can distinguish what's right for YOU. And YOIRE not easily swayed,then you'll know-how can trust your instincts. And there's nothing wrong with making friends with every single man or woman you see. But from there, you learn more about them. And THAT will give you your base for a relationship. Atop expecting it to be immediately then and there like a lifetime movie. Or a Rom com.

      As you're more confident in yourself, you'll be more free and open automatically. No force. It just happens.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • bob7
    6 years ago

    u have 2 options :

    1- stop being shy and approach guys
    2- try to date the guys who ur not attracted to ( because if you love someone's personality you will like their looks)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • geek_god_101
    6 years ago

    If you live in a rural area that has a primitive culture, then yes it is normal for it to be much more difficult to find a partner.
    Also, for being female, two things can help: 1. Start pursuing, men like it; and 2. Communicate more direct, men like honesty and directness. It helps.
    I hope these suggestions help you out. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    You need more confidence. At 22 you should be strutting your stuff. Grab attention, don’t wait for attention to come and find you sitting in a corner.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    This is in part due to the sad result of the "rape hysteria" culture. Guys risk too much socially and legally to walk up to a girl and hit on her. But to those men in the top 10% who do, this approach has never been more effective.

    Your only chance is to look your best, be charming, appear easy (TO APPROACH) and give indications of interest. The last of which you already do at a subconscious level.

    And then hope a hook snags you. This is the trade-off of courtship: when you risk little, you have less control over mate selection.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0