Is it normal i can't figure out how to orgasm?

57% Normal
7 Comments

Ok so basically, I did not masturbate until a little bit after I turned 18. I've only tried 2 times in my entire life and both times have been wildly unsuccessful. I am afab (a biological woman) and absolutely just cannot figure this shit out. I *think* I figured out where the clit is, but clearly I'm doing something wrong because it is not very pleasant to touch. Just weirdly like "Oh that sure is there. Feels sensitive."
Tonight I got relatively close to climaxing, I think, but it didn't shake out. I got pretty close and abruptly stopped feeling whatever I was feeling. I was reading dirty fanfic at the time, which helped, but I had no idea what to even try to do with my hands other than insert fingers and rub. I think I'm just doing something wrong, but part of me is also worried that this is something I should be genuinely concerned about. The two times I have tried have been over the course of around 5-15 minutes and nothing has happened so far other than me getting my hand wet.
Soooooo, is it normal I can't figure out how to orgasm??

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • techpc
    2 years ago

    Idk watch a video of other women masturbating and copy them, maybe. Just not professional porn because I doubt that actually feels good.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    2 years ago

    There is nothing wrong with you, many afab people cannot easily orgasm and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Look up advice online (not porn) and try different techniques. Remember that the point of masterbation is pleasure, which doesn’t necessarily have to include an orgasm.

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  • Curiouskitten444
    2 years ago

    You may want to focus on rubbing an area near your clit vs your clit itself as that sounds like its too sensitive for you. You may also want to try using lube so that your hands/ fingers glide across your clitoris with less friction. Lots of other great answers too.

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  • Boojum
    2 years ago

    First, I'm a guy, so my only experience of female orgasms are helping my partners have them.

    I'm a bit confused by you saying you've located your clitoris and then mentioning inserting fingers. It has long been understood that the clitoris is the focus of sexual pleasure for women. For some women, the way their particular physiology is arranged means their clitoris gets sufficient indirect stimulation from something moving in their vagina for them to reach orgasm. However, researchers have found that only around a fifth of women are able to reach orgasm through vaginal thrusting alone. For the majority of women, having something in their vagina is either an enjoyable extra source of nice feelings, something they can take or leave, something that's a distraction from what's going on with their clitoris, or something they actively dislike.

    Only you can figure out what you prefer, and whatever you decide is perfectly normal for you.

    I suggest you Google Betty Dodson. She was a woman who dedicated much of her life to helping women figure out how to give themselves orgasms. I obviously have no idea what's blocking you from getting through whatever barrier it is that's stopping you from masturbating to orgasm, but I'm absolutely certain that what you've experienced is (unfortunately) pretty common.

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  • jrbsportz
    2 years ago

    What turns you on? Get hole of that or fantasize about it while you pleasuring yourself,if that dont work for you find a good friend that might be in to help and both get satisfied!! Just saying

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Probably not enough stimuli for you to go over the edge. Maybe you could find a guy that could make it happen.

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    • SkullsNRoses
      2 years ago

      I suspect if OP tried that this song would apply:

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G8RrQjBa8FU

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