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If I feel anything negative I can turn it off like a switch. I am always amazed by most peoples lack of ability to control their emotions. It seems most people are unable to choose what they feel and continue to have unnecessary feelings even when they realize they are illogical. Why is this?
It's not only normal, it sounds like a great ability to have, to be able to stay rational.
I can do this as well but only after I went into therapy for depression. It's great to have that ability, just try to understand not everyone can do it. You probably couldn't either when you were a little kid so then you at least know how they feel. And there'll be a time in your life when you will have feelings you'd rather not have, like if something very tragic happens, and you can't switch them off. You can't always control your emotions and that's okay, don't mistake ''supressing emotions'' for ''switching them off''. Also a nice quote: The more you hide your emotions, the more they show; The more you supress your feelings, the more they grow.
part of the self is the ability to lose control, at that point you rip off your mask and reveal the truth. what are you hiding behind the wall?
I want that, give me that! Sounds like you have ignorance, I need some of that. Ignorance is often bliss!
Recognising when an emotion is unwarranted or counter-intuitive, and therefore seeking to overcome it i.e. not be at its mercy, is a sign of maturity. It's the reason adults don't throw tantrums with the same frequency as they did as 2-year-olds.
Switching on and off emotions is something else. My first instinct would be to question whether you're feeling anything at all? Or whether you are deceiving yourself into believing you have turned off that emotion, when in fact you've simply buried it?
I'd also like to point out that, although psychology plays a huge rule in emotion, there are other physiological components that influence mood that are almost impossible to 'think' yourself out of.
That's normal.
People need to realize that their negative feeling are a sign of something that needs to be changed. Either in themselves or a behavior they don't like from someone else. All feelings are caused internally not by others.
Either speak up to the person that hurt them. Realize that what people do are things in the past and if they continue to do something that discomforts you; that's when you need to walk away from the person. Another thing is if you feel annoyed by someone find what it is instead of getting overly upset and find your ways to cope around it. It could be a behavior that you also have that you don't like.
All I can say is that assertiveness needs to be taken more seriously by people.
I found out that only 20% of people around the world are assertive and guess what they are the most confident people who don't need to lower others. They are respectful to others and respectful towards themselves. They understand their own "feelings." And they also understand others more because they can be more compassionate and have high empathy.
Can you give some examples of when a feeling is considered illogical? Why is it illogical?
Here are a couple of my examples:
When someone yells at you due to their anger when all they need to do is wait till they are calm and talk about it.
When someone feels hurt and cries so the other person feels guilty, when the other person most likely didn't mean anything by it. The person could of just told them that they didn't like whatever happened or realize they took something too personally.
Do you think there is ever a logical place for yelling in anger? And can it ever be logical to cry, even though the other persons action weren't meant to harm the person who feels like crying?
No, yelling is a disrespectful action and it's used so they can get their own way. One time that it isn't disrespectful and irrational is when someone is in danger. Examples: A car about to hit someone. You of course need to yell for that person to hear that hey there is a car coming after you. OR another is if someone creeps up behind someone and is about to shoot or stab someone. And these are not normally due to anger it's I don't want you to get hurt reflex.
And yes, if someone actually meant to hurt you and if you are rather close to them of course it's normal to cry. Though if you do cry the other person will feel good because that's what they wanted.
Though in my examples above are when it's irrational and illogical that there is a better approach to the actions and emotions involved.
You are right, and I feel the same way often. I think many people do not understand just how much control they have over their feelings. I think the key for unlocking that control is thinking critically. Thinking critically about emotions can help you hack them. Thinking critically about anything can help you hack it. Your emotions should exist to make your life a richer, more vivid experience, not to control you or limit you.
Clearly some people are not like us. I don't want to dismiss the legitimacy of their experience, but I can't imagine not being in control of my self.
I get that there is a certain appeal to experiencing life as "naturally" as possible, in the hope that it will make the experience rawer. In my experience, though, having a grasp of control over what you feel doesn't diminish the rawness of my experience at all. It isn't hiding your self behind a wall, it's understanding that "being your self" is not something done passively. It's actively choosing what you want your self to be, and making it be that way. I think you shouldn't go through life as a passive spectator; what a waste of potential that would be.
I agree, being your self should not be a passive experience. But the act of thinking is kind of a passive activity.
It sounds like you equate a lack of emotions as control. Which isnt true at all. Or that emotional people dont think critically about their reaction. It would befalse to think that too. Its probably best to not put too much thought into emotions as you risk over thinking them. And while you are busy over thinking them, you miss out on experiencing them.
I would never claim to not have emotions, and I don't think the OP is claiming that either. Everyone has emotions! :P But there is a big difference between "I lack emotions" and "I understand what I feel, I can put it in context, and I can control it". The human experience is not defined by a lack of control, and the human experience is beautiful whether you think about it or not. To me, it makes experiencing emotions more beautiful to have an understanding of them. Thinking deeply adds layers of complexity to the world.
"The unexamined life is not worth living".
Exactly.
It's that people don't want to embrace their feelings. Especially the negative feelings. You've gotta embrace them in order to have a joyful life.
Calm people are no where near emotionless, they actually can be a lot more sensitive. It's just they know how to control theirs and are able to help the ones in need. They are confident! And plus most of peoples mindsets think that others control their feelings that's why they become irrational. Nope, your feelings are only your own internally; they are caused by yourself!