Iin, i’m 25, never even held a girls hand and feel so depressed

56% Normal
28 Comments

I’m 25, have had severe social anxiety (getting better now), was practically a hermit until late last year, have really bad depression, very low self esteem and I have never so much as held a girls hand let alone anything else. I’m not one of those people that obsesses over their virginity, that’s not what I care about, but I am finding myself constantly thinking about being alone. I desperately want to feel wanted, not just sexually but emotionally, in fact more so emotionally; I want someone to hold while we watch TV and the thought of not having that and the prospect that I’ll never have that has had me almost suicidal lately.

I’m terrified that being my age and never having any experience I’m incapable of ever finding anyone and that even if I did I’m an inherently unattractive prospect, after all who would want to deal with my baggage?

I know my situation isn’t normal but is it normal to feel this bad about it to the point that I have thought about suicide?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 62 votes (35 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    12 years ago

    Go to the gym and work out dude, it'll make you feel a fuck load better, trust me.

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    • PalestinianGuy
      12 years ago

      I second this post ^

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    • anti-hero
      12 years ago

      Why do gym rats think that working out solves everything?

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      • thinkingaboutit
        11 years ago

        working out gives you control over your body. I think that many people who put in work and get results, suddenly realize that the same is true for all other parts of life.

        YOU CANT WIN IT IF YOUR NOT IN IT BITCH. <--my motto.

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        • anti-hero
          11 years ago

          I work out daily, I just don't have that gym rat mind set, the stupid factor doesn't have a hold on me. Your motto is retarded. First off "YOU CANT WIN IT IF YOUR NOT IN IT" is a lottery slogan, you just added bitch to something that already was a thing. Second, how can you win working out?

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          • thinkingaboutit
            11 years ago

            Damn, your just oozing something awful! No one cares about your mind set and all the factors that don't have a hold it.

            It's a lottery slogan? haha who cares? You think it as nothing to do with the quality of a persons life? There's two types of people in life: winners and losers. If your not putting in effort, your not a winner.

            And I already answered your question, doof. Again, as they reap the physical benefits of working out, plenty of people suddenly develop an inner locus of control and confidence.

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            • anti-hero
              11 years ago

              Working out is still not a contest (in most cases). I don't have to live my life by some simple minded motto to be a winner.

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      • james2012
        12 years ago

        I go to a gym, it does help with depression but it's not a solution to where I am in life.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    You're not alone, dude.
    I know many guys that have been there and trust me, it's rough. Just keep meeting people, you have to meet people in order to meet a girl.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Well you could pay for it too, not recommending they do that, but it is an option to do it.

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  • cookiesaregreat
    12 years ago

    You seem like a really nice dude, and if I were you I wouldn't care about it so much. I do get your feelings and fears tho, until a year ago I had the same ones. Just look out a chance that might appear to get to know a girl and take it.

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  • PalestinianGuy
    12 years ago

    Only weak people think about committing suicide, it's the same as quiting, you must rise up and fight like a man!

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  • dude_Jones
    11 years ago

    You're salvation is prostitution. Start slowly with phone sex, then get a handjob. Truck stops have talented prostitutes, I am told. After a few of these, try a blow job. You can eventually take a trip to Pahrump, NV where prostitution is legal. You will feel soooo much better. Check out this website http://www.chickenranchbrothel.com/

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    • james2012
      11 years ago

      Haha thanks for the advice dude, and the link! But happy to say that your advice is no longer needed lol :)

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    "thats life" by frank sinatra

    You have a lot of problems and there's really no way to give you solid advice without some knowledge of why you are who you are. I'd join a social anxiety group though, just to help you feel less alone in the world.

    Yesterday I was crying all willy nilly but this cheered me up a lot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er_3w_GID2I

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    • james2012
      11 years ago

      Thanks, I have joined a social anxiety group though since then my depression has become worse :(

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      • thinkingaboutit
        11 years ago

        Honestly, you just have to stop being a victim. You need to monitor your thoughts.

        may I suggest complete confidence by sheenah hankin. A lot of this book is repetitive and sometimes a little too general, but its given me some really great momentum.

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  • wicked666juggalo
    12 years ago

    It is normal to feel this way due to how your life has turned out. Though suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Everyone has someone out there for them, though they might not know it. I recommend therapy, possibly in a hospital meant for this type of behavior or the brain waves. You're not crazy, or abnormal, just suffering from major depression. I am commenting to you about this, due to my natural need to help people in need. Please just go to a psychologist and get an examination done. Then proceed with what they recommend. You should be fine in 6 weeks to 3 months. Best wishes and good luck, my friend, -Wicked

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    • james2012
      11 years ago

      Thanks for this message, I am seeing my doctor and waiting to start some kind of therapy though it seems to be taking ages. I do hope it helps though even if it does I really think 6 weeks to 3 months is wishful thinking; I have 15 years of baggage built up and I'm afraid it's going to take a long time to get better :(

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  • anti-hero
    12 years ago

    It is not normal to have never held a girls hand. It is normal to be depressed about it.

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    12 years ago

    Social anxeity is terrible! I dealt with that myself for a period of time! The two things I did to combat that were hitting the gym (extremely hard for a while, now to maintain)to raise my self confidence, and seeing a doctor. I was on several very strong antianxeity pills, and now I have worked myself down to a very low dose of Celexa. I feel great now! Everybody is different but if you haven't already, there is nothing wrong with getting help!

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  • solidman
    12 years ago

    You must have suffered a lot but don't worry there are A LOT!!!!!! Of guys and girls like you, you just have to find them. And good luck.

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  • iEatZombies_
    12 years ago

    You're still more than young enough to find someone special. Just put yourself out there and remember , if you get rejected she wasn't good enough anyway. There's somebody better waiting for you.

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    • orinoco
      12 years ago

      This will be the best way to get over rejections although not all people will find it easy to act and think like that. As a matter of fact, women are spoilt to an extent in our society that they often reject even without thinking twice. For sensitive men, life is difficult in our times. I have had my (not too extended) share with women, still I know this frustration very well. It is easy to say "remember, if you get rejected she wasn't good enough anyway" - but what if it sends you into a depression for months?

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      • iEatZombies_
        12 years ago

        Everything is easier said than done. The only way you can end up with someone is by putting yourself out there in one way or another. The damage can be immense, but so can the rewards. In order to obtain something great, you must sacrifice something great. It's the vicious cycle.

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