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I have seen a lot of posts and heard a lot of conversations about how girls want a romantic, well mannered and overall nice guy(not those weirdos tho). But I am not sure that's actually the case- a lot of these girls end up dating the exact opposite type of guy, is that normal?
Pretty much just be a nice guy for the most part but don’t let her walk all over you and do whatever the fuck she wants. Don’t be afraid to argue with her if you disagree on something. Just try to be nice but have authority.. In my opinion anyway.
Don’t be a “nice guy” bro. Those guys usually aren’t actually nice and act like they deserve something from a girl for being polite
That's what I meant by weirdos. The guys from r/niceguys are not what I meant. I was talking about the massive friendzoning effect that happens to guys that are genuinely polite, romantic etc. towards someone that has these criteria for a partner.
If you're saying they date a guy that comes across as mean to some people I think it's just that they want to date a strong seeming male. I'm a girl and I'd prefer someone nice though (not r/niceguys)
I think sometimes on surface value, someone may seem like a total dick until you get to know them better.
Many women feel the exact same way. It’s a combination of confirmation bias and pessimism and some of your own self esteem issues. I used to feel this way about guys, but I eventually came to realize the “bitches” were just more confident and outgoing, meanwhile I was a socially awkward weirdo.(I’m still in the same situation, but at least now I’m self aware) and I’d say, bases on Reddit, it’s very normal.
(be sure to correct me if I understood wrong what you said) Being the social cripple that I am I actually could not get myself in this kind of situation even if I wanted to so I'm basically speaking from a third persons perspective and the things you listed that could cause this kind of misunderstanding might not be the problem. I asked this question because I'm just a bystander that has witnessed a lot of women saying they want a nice guy, that's romantic, listens to her etc and just a week later dating the bad guy of our group. If I manage to overcome my social incapabilities I would like to get into a relationship and was wondering just how common this situation is and how to deal with it.
Alright, I get it, but this is way the reasons normally are from my experience. You may be unaware of your bias. You may have saw or heard of it several times and when you see other cases of it you conclude it’s very common...... idk tho, maybe the women around you really are like that.
Yeah, I guess the overgeneralizing nature of my question might suggest that Im biased but that was the only way I could get different opinions on the topic and based on them conclude how common this situation actually is. I am far from the opinion that gender alone can be enough of an explanation to this.
People tend to find what they want in a person as they meet people so it is normal for people's standards and views to change
Love is a strange thing. People will say the want one thing, but end up with another because they lack the self esteem, or are terrified of dying alone, and want to fill the void of existence with some sort of companionship. The reality is many will claim to have to answers, but in truth there are none.
What about the people(mainly girls) that friendzone the type of person they said they wanted and date the exact opposite one?
If someone doesn’t want to be with you that’s just how it is. There’s no such thing as the friendzone, if you can’t stand the thought of being just friends, you need to end the friendship, but it’s not the other person’s job to date you just because you think you’re what they need.
believe me, I wish I knew. But its important not to dwell on what could've been and to look forward to what is. If a girl doesn't want to be with you then she doesn't. And as hard as it may be you have to move on. Eventually her feelings may change. But often, especially when they're young, people have a hard time changing their feelings. I'm sorry.