Is it normal he wanted to "take care of me" and made everything my fault

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3 Comments

I have autism and I met a man last year who is neurodivergent but his issues are very smaller. Hhe said loved me almost immadiately. I dont know why. I still live at home im unemployed and dont have much life experience yet.

He wanted to give me a new car if we had sex and I agreed to be his girlfriend unofficially. I got really shocked by this so I stopped seeing him but we ended up seeing each other again.He was not so honest but he said he's a nice guy all the timeEverytime we argue he said to me I should consider what he can offer me.Last argument he said I will regret in the future that I leave him because he would take care of me !? Now I know he got a post order bride ! Its true.He dont like women wth social lives he said that

Once he got me a new bike ! I never asked for it in fact I said to him before "please dont give me big things".He lectured me about basic manners because I didnt express enough gratitude after he arrived with it also I was confused because he never said "its for you" he just said "I bought a bike" and that it was expensive and asked if I wanted to go biking I felt very uncomfortable I asked him "for you?!" and he said "nah its too small for me" then when we was arguing weeks later about him having hurt me he brought that up and said I never properly thanked him so I have no manners and that he wanted give me a car.I dont even own the bike,he has it?!?!Then when I said to him to apologize for cheating he didnt want to and said its not his fault he couldnt help it and that its my fault becaus its my job to reassure him more,is this normal ?!

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Based on 8 votes (0 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    Nothing you describe here is normal in a healthy relationship.

    Whatever labels he may apply to himself, the behaviour you describe is manipulative and controlling. When he said he didn't like women who have social lives, what he meant was that he wants to isolate you from external support and influence, since this makes it much easier for him to gaslight you and try to construct a false reality where everything he does is wonderful, and you become completely reliant on him.

    Some people give gifts because they simply enjoy making others happy and being generous makes them feel more positive about themselves, but in the context of the other things you say about him, his gifts seem sinister to me. The bicycle and other things he has handed over to you are not really gifts; they have an invisible price tag attached to them, and that price is you being so grateful to him that you will do what he wants.

    I suggest you consider what's really going on here very carefully. If there are people in your life whom you trust and feel able to be completely honest and open with about such things, I would strongly urge you to talk to them about this guy and your relationship.

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    Just break up with that dipshit, seriously none what you've written is normal.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    3 years ago

    its like across between a lifetime movie and the price is right

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