Is it normal he doesn't show interest in someone?

41% Normal

Idk what's wrong with my dude. It's almost like he's too self-absorbed to be interested in someone else. But I don't see him as conceited. He will brag about a few things but he says that's the last thing he's trying to come off as so I believe him. Aside from this, he is a really good guy to get along with. But it's just so weird how he lacks interest when it comes to the other person. He said his past gfs have had this problem with him not showing any interest in them even though "he was" according to him. He was with them for more than two years each so he did take them seriously and does take relationships seriously but he just has his own way of showing that he cares or he really can care less. But how can he care less if he was with them for a while and with me? He insists he doesn't notice he's being indifferent and kind of seems tired of being confronted about this because he knows he has this problem. But how difficult can it be to show you're interested? He'll show every now and then like in a special occasion and it's nice to have that but almost seems like he's trying too hard because he knows he has to show his interest for sure. Maybe he lacks passion in general in terms of being emotional. Maybe he doesn't like to show his emotions because he doesn't wanna look like a softy? But I don't think so. He's the type to be honest with his actions and like he said, he doesn't know how to change that because he doesn't know when he's doing it. It's also almost like he lacks vulnerability. He doesn't know how to let go of himself completely or is afraid to get attached because he knows he falls hard for someone? Not sure how many other guys can relate. I know some guys who do show emotion so it's possible but I know that generally guys lack showing interest. I'll be like hey I just worked out! He'll ignore it or not show like he cares. He'll ask me questions about me here and there to give it a shot but he goes back to talking about himself. But this goes with other people, too. We'll be talking and he some how turns it around. I am crazy about him though but he's those types that will end up being alone forever if he doesn't start showing interest/emotion/effort.

Voting Results

41% Normal

Based on 17 votes (7 yes)

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Comments ( 7 )

[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Speaking as a guy, I can very much relate to this post. I wouldn't focus so much on him and what he's doing "wrong" in terms of revealing emotions or showing vulnerability, I would focus more on why you need him to do those things. Does it really make that much of a difference? I'm sure if you're with him, its for a reason, I would try accepting him for who is instead of who you think he should be. If you can't than you need to think about going your own way.

Also most men aren't overly into being vulnerable or emotional. It's just not really a part of most biological male characteristics.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  To perfectly honest, I don't like it when guys give me a lot of attention like other girls do. But there are times when I would like him to show me attention/affection like when we're out with people or in the public. For the first time, he showed me public affection last time we hung out. I guess it takes him a while to finally show it. But usually, you can't even tell if we're together because I'll grab his waist or something expecting him to kiss me or grab me too but his hands just stay in his pockets. It's annoying and disappointing. I look like I'm all clingy but I'm not. Its his lack of affection that makes me look like that. Other examples are what I said on the post including how he barely asks about me and when he does, it's because its been a while since he has and he's just trying for like a minute then goes back to his world. I don't think he realizes he does this. Then when i mention something about me, he ignores, or is like "oh yeah..." then moves on. Like he literally is not interested in anything. Besides those though, I sometimes think twice about this and I rather have this than someone spoiling me, I find that gross. Like that's too much, just be yourself. So that's why I stay and deal with him and hoping he gradually starts showing interest. I have been accepting him but those moments are the moments I wish he could display emotion.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    I understand perfectly where you are coming from and don't even think your unreasonable. At the same time, he's being himself. You won't change him. If you want to think he will eventually you can go on thinking that but the predictability of human nature argues strongly against it.
    
    I can't venture a guess as to whether he's in love or not without visually observing both of you and body language (which isn't going to happen) but he also may not have as strong feelings for you as you do for him. That's harsh to contemplate but I want to be honest.
    
    I think you see him more as what you want or think he should/can be, instead of who he is.
    
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KeepsakeDoll

9 years ago

There's different ways of showing love/interest;

Spending money on someone, physical affection, words, or simply by being with the person (time).

What type of attention are you looking for? His way of showing interest might be different from what you want.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  You're right about the whole "spending time with me." He does, and when I've confronted him about this, he responds by mentioning that he never says "no" when I ask to hang out, or he'll ask to hang out because he simply just wants to be with me. But when he is with me, he doesn't show like he cares. What's the point of hanging out if ur not gonna show any emotion? But I guess my presence and us being together in the moment is enough for him. If I can find out for sure that that is it, then ok I'll deal with him and his emotionless self. As long as that's just who he is then I'm fine with it. One of the reasons why I started to like him is because of just who he is, not because of how he treated me. I liked his personality, he's himself, but the bad thing about it is lack of expression. His last gf left him for that and I don't wanna leave him for that even though, there are times (see comment above) when I wish he could show some interest. As special as he is to me, and as special as we are to me,I would like to show it every now and then and when he doesn't, it kills me. It looks like we're just whatever, when that's not how it is.
  
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Why are you wasting your time with this douche lord? He probably won't change and contrary to the popular beliefs of many a rabid codependent you can't change him.

*pulls something out of her arse*

You could always resort to treating him the way he treats you, but alas, something tells me you won't.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Actually I have. Whenever he tells me something now that I know he expects me to respond, I say "fuck it" not going to respond as much as I would like to. The same subjects he'll tell me, I tell him and I don't get a response. He'll say "man you don't care" I'm like wow first of all I actually do and the person who really doesn't care here is you. Idk if he really is clueless and he has no idea he does these things. Then when I confront him, I look like the crazy person cause he doesn't see it himself.
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal he doesn't show interest in someone?