Iin2get angry when the conversation turns to babies,marriage etc?

69% Normal
12 Comments

A friend and I were talking on Facebook earlier about dreams we'd had and then the conversation turned to how she'd been feeling broody. We're both in our mid-twenties.

She didn't put it in those words, though (She told me how she wanted one, what gender she wanted and what she'd call it and that there was some maternal instinct kicking in, but that she'd wait until she was 30 to have one).

I mentioned that I'd thought fleetingly about having a child, but didn't go into any more detail.

She then said something like "Oh now, this is excting", asked if I was pro-kids now and said that I should bring it up with my boyfriend as we're techincally engaged (She thinks otherwise and logically assumes we'll marry).

However, I then felt really angry and mentioned how I felt about monogamy and how I wouldn't want a child - or to settle down - until I was at least 30.

The friend - quoute "How are you about the whole baby thing?" - unquote, and I thought that she was asking how I felt about her feelings and I considered typing "Well, as long as you don't do anything disgusting like 'forgetting' to take the pill, sabotaging condoms, having a revenge baby or anything like that, you're fine".
However, she was talking about how I felt.

I don't want to go into any more detail as I don't think it'd be interesting for you to hear about (And I'm still angry thinking about it), but I HATE HATE HATE IT when the conversation turns to things like that.

The friend is currently single although she has had a couple of relationships lasting less than a year.

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 39 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • JustDave
    12 years ago

    You're friend sounds like a twit. Tell her you love children, especially when they're slow roasted and cooked thoroughly.

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    • BlueAlice
      12 years ago

      The funny thing is: she's not that dumb (She's just done a Masters in publishing), but she can do and say some **really** naive, stupid things.

      She has a very old-fashioned, vanilla attitude towards relationships i.e. Beleiving the guy should make the first move etc. She'll ask me for advice on whether a guy likes her or not and why guys are so weird when, in all honesty, it's her and womankind in general.

      I have to admit that post did make me smile and confirm some things in my mind, though. Thank you :D

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    I hate when my family asks when I'll get a man and settle down and have kids.
    I feel like it's none of their business>_<

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  • Haeven
    12 years ago

    Idk if its normal but why does it always have to be about when who will have kids? I mean the world is already overpopulated so its not like were lacking on people! I mean yeesh just let people settle down and live their lives, people who dont want kids yet dont need to get into all those responsibilities yet, why do you think post partum depression is so common?

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  • myweirdself16
    12 years ago

    i hate people who talk about having babies in general, but really because i know i don't want any, and my family will be full of babies by the time i get a man.

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  • assdfghjkl
    12 years ago

    It is normal to get defensive when other females start going on and on about your business of having children, getting married etc.

    What's NOT normal is to set a mental age limit upon your life for getting married or having children. How oppressive of you toward your own life. sad, really. . .

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    • BlueAlice
      12 years ago

      I guess she's doing it because she wants to try and get her career set up and/or find a nice guy to settle down with before having the things. That makes sense to me and doesn't seem the least bit abnormal.

      What would be more oppressive would be if she wasted her Masters' just to bring an extra life into the world.

      I know for a fact that I don't want to "settle down" i.e. do that monogamy crap society expects you to do
      before I'm in my 30s myself and I don't believe in beign shackled to one person for the rest of your life.

      The only "goo"£ reason I can think of for having children is that my name/family line would not die out, but that is actually a terrible reason to have a child.

      Other than that, all I can think of are negative factors

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Get her a puppy from the dog pound for a very small taste of parental responsiblility!!

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    • BlueAlice
      12 years ago

      I would, but she's afraid of dogs.... Apparently a lot of girls go doolally over wanting BABIES in the same way she does and I think it's bloody wierd.

      I might suggest she takes up bsabysitting if she ever brings it up in conversation, but I don't know how good she is with kids and I doubt she's had any experience

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I would say normal as well.

    If you dont want kids then dont have them, if you want them then have them.

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  • ebonysky
    12 years ago

    Why are you getting so angry? It didn't sound like you clearly said you don't want kids yet. So u don't want kids yet? People are always gonna make assumptions off of what they think you should do. Who cares?! Get a thicker skin and ignore them. Stop allowing your friends or random people to piss you off for silly stuff. Life is too short

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    I think that she should have gotten the hint that marriage and kids isn't really your cup of tea right now. It sucks when friends try to push their differing ideals on you, even though you are showing respect to theirs.

    I respect my friends that do not want to have children because it means you have thought about the consequences and made your choice not to have kids, therefore you won't be having them. It sucks how there are so many kids that are born to parents that don't TRULY want kids but they didn't think that far ahead to try to prevent them. Only people who TRULY want kids should be having kids. I respect someone more for being childfree by choice than for having a kid that they didn't plan or weren't ready for that just happened to HAPPEN.

    I vote normal.

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