Is it normal for you and your partner to be distant?

33% Normal
9 Comments

I have no idea whats going on between my partner and I right now. We have been pretty distant and I think it's mutual, well at least to me. I don't think we really wanna talk to each other right now, not cause of something someone did but just cause, we want space? There's been many times where he's disappeared and I wonder why cause I would like to talk to him all the time I mean isn't that what a relationship is? And when he would get back to me its like not a big deal to him that he disappeared for like 3 days. He just explains how he doesn't think we need to talk every fucken day. But I guess cause my feelings for him were strong, its natural to want to talk to him all the time.

Now though, for some reason, Im the one who kind of wants space and ever since I let him "figuratively" know, he got the hint and he hasn't really talked to me nor have I. I kind of did, didn't get a response, and I didn't care. Yesterday, I wanted to call him just to see hows everything but deep down I didn't want to talk to him. I was kind of hoping he wouldn't pick up my call and he didn't. It was late though so not sure if he was already asleep. But even with that, he usually returns my calls and he hasn't, except a small message of nothing. I messaged him back w something else and have't gotten a response and I really don't care. Not in a bitter way, just in a genuine "I dont feel like talking to you right now for some reason?"

I have a feeling later we'll eventually get back to normal with no hard feelings I think. But then I wonder, is it normal or is it okay if couples are not that close? For ex, I have close guy friends and I'm not that close w my bf. We have been going out for like a year and a half but this whole "space" thing is making me think maybe it is a good thing for us to do every once in a while? Perhaps it'll make us miss each other more. Or just cause we have said individually, we are people who like our space so for us, it's okay if we're not always in contact.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 6 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • dirtybirdy
    8 years ago

    It's time to move on. Time to get goin. What lies ahead I have no way of knowin. But under my feet baby, grass is growin. It's time to move on, time to get goin.

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  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    So are you ok with it or not?

    Because this doesn't sound like a normal relationship of 1.5 years.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Idk I have mixed feelings right now. At this moment I'm chill about it but I know I have to wake up any min and contact him like "hello? We've been kind of distant recently for some reason." I know at the end of the day, I do care or else I wouldn't be concerned if it's normal or not so I guess I have to fix it since apparently it's not normal.

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  • Thexoutcast
    8 years ago

    It just sounds like you two are growing apart. If the distance doesn't bother you then separating completely might be a good idea right now since it seems it wouldn't bother you much. Then you can find someone who actually gives you butterflies.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah if I were to break up w him Id do it at this moment since the distance isn't bothering me. But I don't want to ruin something that I really do care about. Im hoping its just a mini phase. So far ita been a week of this. He does give me butterflies but I feel like cause we've been down this road so many times where I'm usually the one to reach him, I have learned not to be bothered by it, just like he tells me I shouldn't be.

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      • Thexoutcast
        8 years ago

        Well I suppose you could wait things out to see if things change. I've had moments similar to this in some of my past relationships. Usually what helps is doing something fun together. In my last relationship he and I planned a date to the fair and it really brought us closer together. Doing something like that may be a great test for your relationship. If things remain the same even after having a fun date together then it may be time to just move on.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          We are long-distance, so when we do get together we normally do something fun or something we usually like to do. However, that reminds me that the last time we were together was for my day last week, and I think we have just had enough of each other (well i have) because I did have a meltdown. The wknd started very drama filled then we tried to resolve it and move pass it cause it was my bday and we did ish. As soon as I left his place, it was time for us to do us individually again, kind of a relief after a really emotional weekend. So thats the only thing that I can think of that is causing us right now to not really want to speak cause we're tired from what happened and need a little break frm each other. And what really didn't help was me giving him the hint I didn't feel like talking on the phone with him. He sounded pretty stunned but yeah I def dnt regret it cause I knew we would be on the phone in silence the whole time and I was bothered by him low-key.

          So like you said, I guess I am gonna wait it out and hopefully I stay calm like I am right now cause being anxious about it like I used to be is not fun. But then again, I don't want to be too chill about it where Im actually losing my relationship slowly all cause I didn't save it. I know he should come save it too which is what Im also waiting for...hell usually call me and act like no big deal.

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          • Thexoutcast
            8 years ago

            Well if you're choosing to wait it out all I can hope is for things to get better. Good luck.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              It's crazy and ive given up lol not in a bad way but more of like stop analyzing everything. We were still acting distant and yesterday, he came over to visit me out of nowhere and it was great. I even said it aloud like "this is sooo weird" and hes like "what?" im like oh nothing. I was just thinking aloud cause one minute we're barely talking like we used and the next we're hanging out and missing each other. Idk if its cause we are a couple so he prob feels less pressure to contact me but apparently everything is fine.

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