Is it normal for two guys to be this close?

14 Comments

We have been friends for a bit more than a year, but ever since we met we've been extremely close. Like, reeeally close. To the point where my friends (and even my parents a little) think something is going on and that we're a couple.

Okay I confess that I think I do have feelings for him. I'm not too sure yet, it's a bit confusing as he is the first guy I have ever had feelings for. I'm still trying to figure this out. But whatever it is I have with him, I like it. lol

We're both pretty touchy-feely with each other. If we sit next to each other, one of us will definitely try to lean his head on the other's shoulder at one point or another. He also tries to be physically in contact me whenever he can. Whether it's our knees or our elbows touching, he always tries to gravitate towards me. (And I reciprocate.) If he sits close behind me he tends to lean into my back and I usually lean back towards him as well lol.

We hug, maybe too long for normal straight guys to be comfortable. He knows when I'm feeling down, and he understands me. He's so open to me. His personality is so warm and bright. He says he looks up to me.

I remember one day we were at someone's house. After we finished our food, he went to get some cake and started to feed it to me with a spoon, all the while smiling, laughing, and wiping my mouth with a tissue if it got on my chin.

That was the first day he said "I love you." to me. We say that to each other a lot now.

AndOhGod I really am in love hahaha.

I guess what makes me depressed about everything though is that I'm still sure he likes girls. He talks about girls he has crushes on all the time. (He's come to me about 6 girls in the past year that I've known him.) When he's with a girl that he likes, I think he tends to forget I'm there. He's left me before without letting me know because he was with a girl he liked. It's like he stabs my heart everyday... And every single time it hasn't worked out, he's come back to me. I don't know what to make of it.

After reading everything I've typed, I definitely know how I feel about him now, but I want to know if it's normal for two guys to be this close? I don't want anyone in our families to really know about it because they're against homosexuality. (Specifically my parents, but they think we're just joking.)

Normal, but I don't think he's into you. 6
Not normal. He's not into you. 2
Not so normal, but I think he's into you. 7
Normal, and I think he's into you. 17
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Comments ( 14 )
  • kingofcarrotflowers
    9 years ago

    Totally normal but it's an awkward situation because you're friends, telling a friend you like them can ruin things if they don't feel the same way, but, it sounds like he could be into you, that sounds like incredibly flirtatious body language, maybe talking to you about girls could even be another sign, maybe he's unsure just how to deal with these emotions so he's being flirtatious then distancing himself from it, or he could just be a touchy feely guy but I don't know as I don't know him.

    What seems worse,

    You could tell him how you feel, either it will ruin or conplicate things or things might just carry on or he might tell you he feels the same way which would be great.

    Or you could not say anything, it won't risk stress on the friendship but then you'll have to carry on hearing him talk about other people ( which trust me I know fucking sucks) and you won't get to know if he likes you too.

    As someone who's filled with regrets over missed opportunities my opinion may be biased but not knowing is the worst, still, whatever you decide to do I hope it works out for you :)

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    • Smolob
      9 years ago

      Yeah... This is exactly my dilemma. I want him to live a happy life, but I'm afraid for myself if I don't tell him, and I'm afraid for him if I do tell him. Thank you for your comment. :)

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  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    Awh, I smiled reading this. Yes it's normal, love is love. If you have real feelings for him, you should talk to him, you sound really close so it wouldn't be uncomfortable talkig to him about your feelings. I hope one day to have a relationship like this, I can tell you genuinely care about him :)

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    • Smolob
      9 years ago

      Thank you so much, and I hope you will have a relationship like that too. I'm realizing that I love him more and more everyday. He's one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

      In fact I saw him yesterday. He saw I was feeling down and didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me. I remember he whispered in my ear, "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me..." I'm still feeling a little tingly hahaha. I never realized loving someone this hard would do this to me. It's a blessing and a curse honestly.

      And I'm still trying to get used to the fact that it's a guy that I'm into. This is relatively new for me... But I like it. Haha.

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  • DeanWilkinson
    9 years ago

    that is pretty damn sexy, I would love to be that close to a man :) I am gay, I don't have anyone :( A bromance is much better than being gay and having no romance at all :(

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    • Smolob
      9 years ago

      Maybe you're right. Should I just stay friends with him and nothing more? I want what's best for him, even if it means we won't be together. Although I have to confess it hurts like hell. lol

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  • Lariii
    9 years ago

    It seems as though you certainly have feelings for him, and it seems he has feelings for you. I think he probably likes girls as well, either that or he doesn't want to be gay - because of how he's brought up or because his family is against homosexuality - so he's trying to be with girls, and distancing himself from you so that he can try to be happy with a girl.

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    • Smolob
      9 years ago

      I honestly feel like that might be the case.

      He values his family's opinions (he doesn't have much left) and if they reject him, the emotional strain would break him.

      I can't do that to him...

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  • ginsters101
    9 years ago

    Next time he say's "i live you" (in private) - kiss him, kiss him on the mouth. If he responds to your kiss (either with his hands or his tongue), then hug him as you kiss. After this move things on at your own speed.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Lol HIT that shit!

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  • flowerchild94
    9 years ago

    babe a true bestfriend makes everyone question ur sexuality, a true bestfriend you would die for and you love deeply. that's what ya got, yes it could lead to dating and if so that's great but if it remains BFFS itll be legendary.. damn I wish I was a boy.

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    • Smolob
      9 years ago

      Thank you so much. Your comment was so encouraging haha. Perhaps he does have feelings for me... Perhaps not. But perhaps staying friends would be best. I'll just go with the flow and try to not force anything.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Its normal if you're gay.

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    • Smolob
      9 years ago

      Thanks. I guess I'm gay? I don't see much in other guys (yet) so I'm still trying to figure myself out. Haha.

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