Is it normal for tolerance to people or company to diminish over time?

91% Normal

Hello, is it normal people!

I have noticed something about myself that I don't have much control over and the older I get, the worse it becomes.

I have a few friends who I like to spend time with, but the time I can bear to spend with them is becoming increasingly shorter. I'm trying to understand how or why this happens and how normal it is. Any guesses on this? I would appreciate both comments from the ones who feel the same and the ones who don't need much alone time.

Thank you kindly for your time! (:

Voting Results

91% Normal

Based on 32 votes (29 yes)

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!

[ Report Post ]

Comments ( 32 )

mountain-man82

9 years ago

Its normal. You are probably just growing apart from those friends. They might act differently than you or like different things and it could get on your nerves over time.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'm not positive that that is the case, growing apart. I still like them and have common interests, I just don't feel the need to spend much time with anyone in particular. I worry that at some point in my future life I will find myself feeling lonely but not being able to enjoy or tolerate a person's company.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
howaminotmyself

9 years ago

My husband is very social and I'm the homebody. I enjoy being by myself but I do like company. And the best company is the kind you do not have to entertain. The friend I end up hanging out with the most is the one who asked me to kick her out when she had been there too long. And she refuses to let me do anything for her. She will come over and say, "just ignore me, I'm going to sit on your porch for a bit."

She is a good friend. I feel totally comfortable telling her to go home because I'm tired. However it is more likely that she will tell me to take a nap while she watches my kid.

I don't think I'm being very helpful. Back to your question. The nature of my friendships has changed over time. I don't feel the need to have sleep overs or spend all day with the same person. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy their company, I'd just rather not deal with them all day long. I wouldn't say my tolerance has gone down. I've just changed my boundaries as my needs change.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
dom180

9 years ago

Hmm. I've spent all day - literally 12 hours and more - socializing with friends with only very small breaks. It's fun, but totally and utterly exhausting without breaks. After a while I just want to crawl off by myself and listen to some music. I much prefer a couple of hours, then a nice break and a couple of hours again.

It's better for me than it was. When I was a little kid I was not be able to stand much socializing at all. Living with friends got me used to it and now I'm much more able :P

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I think we are at a very different stages in our lives. I lived the way you currently do for several years in my college time too. I would go out with friends every single night for a few of those years. Now I feel I don't want to chit chat about things I'm not interested in, party so much, or listen to people complaining anymore (unless it's a good friend in need, then I'll do it and it won't bother me at all)
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
Holzman_67

9 years ago

I think it's different when you're younger because your social life is more important to you, as you grow up you accept your responsibilities as an adult and you have pressing matters to deal with. Allocating time for your social life becomes harder, and when you do, sometimes you just can't turn your mind off the current issues you're dealing with.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  That could be true for some, but it isn't the case for me. I do have time, I just prefer to spend it on my own and read, watch a movie, browse the internet for subjects that interest me, look up new music... I get plenty of social contact through work and when I get home I want silence from the world outside, I'd rather hear the voices in my head (not that there are any). It's more like I just want to be involved with my own universe and the things I love. I find it strange that it's not people, like so many others.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - Holzman_67
    
    9 years ago
    
    oh yeah you are a solitary person, there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of people get peace from solitude.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yeah, I guess I am...
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Holzman_67
        
        9 years ago
        
        most definitely!
        
        :)
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
EccentricWeird

9 years ago

You grumpy asshole. Maybe they're just sick of your ass, not the other way around! Niehh!!!

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Projecting much? As far as I could tell you are one whose ass people are sick of.
  
  Just saying...
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - EccentricWeird
    
    9 years ago
    
    They probably are :'(
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Awww, I've never seen you admit it. Why don't you start being a good boy then? (:
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - EccentricWeird
        
        9 years ago
        
        Because I'm weird, possibly eccentric as well.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
[Old Memory]

9 years ago

I'm backwards from that. I was a very introverted kid and teenager and as I got older I liked socializing and partying more. I used to not be able to stand the same person for more than a day per week but now I can socialize daily and enjoy it. I do still tend to fight with people after being around them for an extended period though and don't do well living with others.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  What do you end up fighting over? What part of living with others doesn't work for you? Is it hard for other people to live with you as well?
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    I have a lot of particularities that bother me if people do such as touching my stuff or bothering me during my alone time. I work at home and get really annoyed when somebody comes in my area when I'm busy and I hate my stuff being messed with.
    I'm not really messy but I leave things out when I'm working and like to have my space.
    I'm a bit difficult to live with as well as far as former roommates have complained because I like everything to be a certain way. I like to socialize when I go out but want to be alone most the time while at home.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I don't like my stuff being moved either. I usually work at home as well and leave all the things I'm using around, to others it looks like a mess but to me it's how I work and that way I know where things are. I got a roommate when I was feeling lonely but all it did was annoy the shit out of me because he was extremely social and the boyfriend used to be there all the time, like I got two roommates rather than one. It drove me crazy and only lasted a few months. I think I'll never be able to live with anyone else ever again, not even a significant other and that worries me.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      1
      
      1
      - [Old Memory]
        
        9 years ago
        
        I'm the same way with my messes. Its not a mess to me because I know where it all is and I am working on something. I have had awful roommates from a guy who pissed in jars in his room to people pawning my stuff to a guy who trimmed his pubes and left them on top of the toilet tank. I have kicked out many room mates myself and do not want another one.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
dirtybirdy

9 years ago

Normal for me. I find that two hours is my max then get the fuck away from me please.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Seriously? I could never see that one coming from you. Now, I have questions that you may or may not answer. Have you always been like this? If not, what changed? Do you think age plays any part in it? Are there any people at all whose company you tolerate for longer than others? How would you handle a visit from a friend from out of town? HOW???
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - dirtybirdy
    
    9 years ago
    
    Its hard to explain but I shall try. I was anti social when I was younger but I still hung out with my friends so I could party, just kinda kept to myself even though I was with people. It felt so awkward so there would be times that I just shut myself off completely and stayed home for a while.
    
    I had some pretty bad anxiety and still have a little so sometimes i just reeeaallly dont want to go out so I'm not going to force myself to. I'm fine hanging out with my dogs or surfing iin...yaaa...I'm fine.
    
    I've always sorta lived in my own head and when there's too much noise coming in from outside my mind, I get annoyed. I have a few friends but because of different schedules we don't hang out much these days but that's ok. And when I do get asked to go out, they don't take it personally when i decline because they know I'm a bit odd. Then there are times that I need some company but again, not for too long or I'll just get annoyed :/
    
    So in a way age has played a part in it because I see now that its just the way I am and if you don't like it too bad. I'm old enough to do what I want and to not do what i don't want.
    
    I'm getting lost...I'll come back to this =[
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Great, I hope you do get back! =)
      
      What stood out for me was the similar feeling of getting annoyed by having company you actually need and appreciate (to a certain extent, of course)... How do we end the contact without it seeming rude? I can't just tell someone "okay, now I'm done, get out of my house".
      
      I used to be extroverted, or seem like I was. Now that I've been becoming more and more of an introvert I'm questioning if I ever was a legitimate extrovert or just pretended to be one to be accepted or some shit. I've never been a normal one (as in "common") and more than ever I am now trying to understand what it is that I really am. I have never developed great connections with my extended family, while they are all very close to each other.
      
      I can spend forever with my animals and myself too. What exactly annoys you about the people you get together with? And at what point do you notice it becomes too much?
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
    - dirtybirdy
      
      9 years ago
      
      wait...thoughts...forming.....ouch.
      
      My little brother is similar to me but we enjoy each others company. I can tolerate him for longer than other people. We just bullshit and laugh and its good for us both. Hes much less tolerant of others than I am though but his story is not for here... Ummm...ok i think that was all I had.
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Do you think it has to do with him being "little"? I don't know if little is just a bit younger or a child, but in my case I've spent time with young relatives whose company I enjoyed way more than the adults' in the situation...
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0
thegypsysailor

9 years ago

My close friends are dying off quickly. I wish I could spend more time with them and appreciate what time we do have together very much. These are life long friends, some I have known since high school and college.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I understand that feeling in regards to some of them, I've lost a few to death along the way. Others, though, despite loving them, I don't feel the need to be with for too long.
  
  I'm surprised by your answer because I pictured you as a detached, antisocial type of man. Detached due to the nature of your work and lifestyle, antisocial not only because of the very same thing, but from how you answer questions here.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
  - thegypsysailor
    
    9 years ago
    
    My work required me to be extremely social, pretty much 24/7. I don't know if any of you can relate to living with your boss, or your customers, 24/7. It can be extremely stressful and not only must one be pleasant at all times, you are also responsible for their safety and their lives, as well.
    But you are correct, I'd much rather just be a mariner in khakis, than a fancy pants captain in whites with tons of gold braid.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Are you saying that being antisocial is your nature rather than being the 24/7 captain?
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
      - thegypsysailor
        
        9 years ago
        
        I wouldn't say "antisocial" entirely, but I am perfectly happy to spend most days with my wife without necessarily interacting with others. I have never been a social butterfly, choosing my friends and associates with care. But at times it is fun to go out and party, for sure.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        1
        
        1
        
        -
        
        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        I guess if I had a wife I would feel the same. I've always been content to spend my time with the significant others I have had, my animals and my nuclear family. I select friends very carefully, and when I do I love them to death, but now even those have been annoying me.
        
        Comment Hidden ( show )
        
        0
        
        0

Are You Normal?

Is it normal for tolerance to people or company to diminish over time?