Is it normal for people to use depression as an excuse to be douchey

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11 Comments

I mean unintentionally? For example if your friend tries to do a joke on you but it turns out really badly, then you tell them you didn't like that and they're like "you're right im a piece of shit i should Кill myself" etc. etc. but they are not saying it in a way to get sympathy out of you they genuinely do hate themselves and want to diе and so reprimanding them for doing something wrong makes them feel worse, and then it makes you feel like the douche in that situation.

what are you supposed to do then? just let them be a douche because they are depressed? i mean i know, tell them off tactfully. but it doesn't seem to matter. i just end up "letting them win" because i feel so bad about it.

IIN?

Voting Results
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Based on 15 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • JD777
    8 years ago

    Having depression, or any other "disease or disorder", is never an excuse for treating other people badly. Calling them out tactfully for truly bad behavior is understandable. Just don't expect them to change. Best distance yourself.

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    • harddrystickysocks
      8 years ago

      Sorry this logic does not always work for a lot of autistic people unless you want them to go into a rage, or have a break down.

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      • JD777
        8 years ago

        No. Parenting and dealing with autistic people requires even more frequent tactful bad-behavior modification. In this case the "calling out" is sometimes referred to as using "reinforcers" known to work with autistic people.

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        • harddrystickysocks
          8 years ago

          I had to deal with my autistic cousin and calling him out like you would call out or critiSize a 'normal' person can end up fucking terrible because sometimes they take it the wrong way. I'm talking full blown rages grabbing knives breaking everything in sight crying hysterically. I know what your talking about. Parenting and care has to be specialized.

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          • JD777
            8 years ago

            Yeah, it can be bad and heart-breaking for the parents. That's why they learn special ways to deal with any bad behavior.

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            • harddrystickysocks
              8 years ago

              I have been attacked a few time for just standing a certain way and not realizing it was offensive or threatening. Saying that "i don't exist" and flipping out right after.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    8 years ago

    I'd say give them the leeway. Explain to them that yes, you are hurt by their actions and yes, they need to learn from the consequences of their mistakes but you're not going to be angry at them forever and that your forgiveness is contingent only on their willingness to change their behavior and apologize.

    Most of all, make it clear to them that everyone fucks up sometimes and this time, the fuck up just happened to be on them. Depression comes with a dimension of self-centeredness: People who have depression tend to see themselves as the only fuck ups and have a hard time seeing that yes, other people fuck up and yes, other people get smacked down for it because they dwell so much on their feelings and actions. It's a symptom of the disorder that is rarely discussed because it sounds offensive (self-centeredness being considered a bad thing), but that's what mental illness is. It is an issue with your brain functioning that causes issues that you yourself don't recognize.

    Despite all of this, I would NEVER recommend that you continue dealing with someone who continues to harm you simply because they are mentally ill. You owe it to yourself to look after yourself.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    There seem to be a great many young people today (if one uses
    IIN to sample from) who think they have self diagnosed depression, and use it as an excuse not to do a damn thing with their lives.

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  • Riddler
    8 years ago

    No that is not depression that is called being snarky. There is a difference, and people who are snarky may or may not be suicidal. If they are not being snarky and are serious I would say talk them throw it and in that case they are not being a douche they just have issues.

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  • mlbryan44
    8 years ago

    Just gettin ahold of a cock and sucking it is the answer to all your problems. Male or female. Suck and swallow.

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago

    Kick your own ass. See if it helps to motivate you.

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