Is it normal for people to get very upset when you politely ask them not to...?

55% Normal
5 Comments

Is it normal for people to get upset, by "upset" I mean angry and offended, when you politely ask them to stop touching you.

I'm not a touchy-feely person. I give hugs only when I feel bursts of affection, otherwise I'm very emotionally reserved. When I do give hugs, I tend to regret them.

When people give me hugs, I don't enjoy them unless I know them. If I know them, I'll only enjoy the hug for a short period of time, anything over and I'll begin to hate it.

I've had people like friends, acquaintances and family to be touchy-feely with me. I hate that. I've tried to politely tell these people to stop touching me but, they always get upset and act like they're offended.

I've had people to guilt trip me and call me names over this. I haven't done anything wrong. Since when has laying down boundaries considered to be "bad"? I don't understand people like this.

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 11 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Maybe you're telling them in a way they interpret as rejection? Surely anyone with any sensitivity would pick up body language around this, for example if you step back a tiny bit whenever any of these people come near you.

    I posted on here a few months ago about an ex and the former friend she left me for and how I hate them trying to hug & kiss me when we occasionally run into each other: on that last occasion I had the presence of mind to just move back only a couple of inches and they got the message

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Sounds like they feel rejected.

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  • Elixis
    8 years ago

    Having physical contact is a consentual act, and if you have to set boundaries, then set them. But a person's affectionate acts are something you can't control, so you have to learn to cope if you don't want to seem like you're pushing them away or unnacepting of their affection.
    There's nothing wrong with laying boundaries, but it can make you seem distant. Physical contact makes you seem closer to a person than talking alone.
    If you can't talk to someone deeply about this, then at least try to find less touchy--feely ways of letting them show their affection, like a fist-bump :P

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  • chained_rage
    8 years ago

    God. You must be a blast to be around.

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  • dirtybirdy
    8 years ago

    Luckily I really don't have to deal with that anymore. When I'm in a situation with the family or other people where I know they will be moving in for a hug, I get myself outta there. I'll walk away just in time so that it doesn't seem like I'm trying to avoid them.

    I do have one of those uncles who has to mash his body against yours and put his arm around your shoulder and talk right in your face. He may as well press his eyeballs to mine while he's at it. Sheesh. It doesn't help that his blood is actually vodka.

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