Is it normal for my sister to let her 16 year old daughter drink alcohol?

A small amount of alcohol in the company of family is a very good idea IMO. As mentioned by mixwell, it removes the "taboo" of the subject as well as the hush-hush curiosity.

As a side note: as a teen with the most watchful and careful parents possible (they also both worked in state prisons) it's not possible to "guarantee" or "make sure" kids never drink or go to parties. No matter what kind of restrictions you put on them, if there's a will there's a way.

However you are perfectly entitled to your own opinion so I encourage you to enforce it on your own children. If you try to instruct your sister on how to raise her daughter, it will likely only drive a wedge between the two of you and prove frustrating for all parties involved.

Wow do you have it wrong.
By denying your kids alcohol and parties they are just going to go crazy when you're not around and will probably grow to resent you. Whereas your sister is absolutely right about teaching her daughter to drink responsibly in a fun and safe environment.

If she's drinking every day or something I could see a reason to be concerned. I think that what your sister is doing is very responsible.

My parents sheltered me a lot. I ended up really resentful and the first few times I drank were painful experiences. Actually quit drinking for a year after the first time I got drunk I was so sick after. Point being I didn't think they trusted me to be responsible, so I went out on my own with no knowing of what I was doing and got into some bad situations.

I feel that it's important to take away that taboo of drinking, many other countries don't have such a high drinking age and they tend to have better results than we do. Making it this lofty thing that you must wait to be an adult for is putting a big red "DO NOT PRESS" button on something that is already a huge source of temptation for children. You'll probably find out sooner or later it's not as easy to control a teenagers behavior as you might think.

My sorta-boyfriends family has this interesting method with their kids... once they're so old, 16 or 17 or so, they'll let them drink as much as they want without supervision, so that they can learn their limits in a safe place with people to look after them. I was lucky enough to be with responsible people the first time I got sick, but not everyone is so understanding and helpful as those guys were to me.

What should you try to do?

Maybe fuck off and mind your own business?

My parents offered me alcohol during holidays and celebrations during my preteen and teen years. I, personally, think it was quite wise of them. By the time I was legal drinking age, it wasn't such a big deal. I already knew about the effects of alcohol before driving age and I knew how to be smart about it.

way better she learns to drink with her mom at a younger age, and can learn to appreciate it or be over it by the time it gets to the party every weekend stage, and her friends are making her down numerous shots of $10 handles of vodka and fifty cent beers.

Keep in mind that in many other countries, children grow up tasting the occasional sip of watered wine or weak beer. An occasional social drink is a normal, responsible way to enjoy alcohol, and letting a teen see drinking in this context is probably healthier than a strict "Not in my house!" policy.

I know anecdotal evidence isn't reliable, but if it helps, I can provide some. My parents also allowed me to drink at 16 and 17, but only in certain contexts. If we had a party for New Year's Eve, for instance, we all got champagne -- not a lot, but enough to feel festive and sophisticated. By the time I was of legal age to drink, I rarely ordered anything stronger than a Sprite because I didn't have anything to prove and didn't find being drunk any fun. I also never drove drunk or got sick from drinking because I already had a good idea where my limits were and didn't exceed them.

Alcohol was neither a constant presence nor a taboo in my life, and I think it helped me develop a healthy attitude toward it.

Unless your sister's family has a history of alcoholism that could be genetic, she's not doing anything wrong by being a part of her daughter's introduction to one aspect of adult life. I understand your concern, but try to make peace with it and with your sister; she's not giving her kid meth, and 16 isn't 6.

My father was very strict on me and what I could and couldn't do, but he allowed me to try his drinks when he was drinking.

After my Dad left, drinking in my house really wasn't a huge deal or taboo. I am 21 now and I drink rarely and am a very responsible drinker (I always have a designated driver) so I think your sister is right and you should just mind to your own kids.

Like many of the above posters have said, it removes the taboo and makes it less hush hush so she won't end up like my friends that were never allowed to touch the stuff did their first time: curious and being strung along by some asshole who did not have their best interests at heart because they were dying to try the stuff and ending up in a bad situation because they didn't know anything about alcohol other than "it's bad" and they were too afraid to call their parents.

It's normal. Like other people have said, maybe if more parents demystified alcohol at home, kids wouldn't be as irresponsible and wouldn't have their first experiences in an unpredictable environment. My parents let me drink sips and half-glasses on New Years since I was 10. I also got glasses of the boxed wine in the fridge. I always got excited about doing something 'forbidden' and my parents would tease that I'd become an alcoholic.

One New Year's, I was feeling rebellious and so I decided to see what it was like to 'get drunk'.

I woke up throwing up all over my bed and carpet. Weeks later, I was still deeply ashamed... and still smelled vomit. Having lived a semi-sheltered homeschooled life, I'm thankful that I got the chance to satisfy my curiosity at home where I was not in danger.

My taste for alcohol is still gone and I definitely don't want to get drunk again. If your sister's kid is as good as you think she is, she'll learn to know her limits and she'll be responsible. You sound like a caring person, but trying to change your sister's parenting is only going to cause friction in your relationship.

my parents forbid it under 18 and im 15 and more excited about drinking than anything. it makes it more exciting.

ok look im a couple years under age and my parents dont let me drink. but my older sister told me that if i was going to dink its gonna be at her house so its not in a dangerous enviornment. she wouldnt let me get drunk or anything, prbbly just a smirinof or something, something light, i trust my sister but my parents wont know.

Alcohol is bad, regardless of age. People still do it. So if you drink alcohol, you have no right to judge. As drunks are as bad as politicians. alot of Teenagers have been drinking alcohol since they started high school.

I think allowing a teen the occasional sip of wine or champagne is perfectly fine, but letting her drink tequila and strawberry daiquiri's is just irresponsible parenting. Drinking alcohol that young can cause so many health problems, like liver cirrhosis and brain damage, even if she doesn't drink 24\7. I think it's great that your niece has an aunt as caring as you.

Your kid needs to RESPECT alcohol. Forbidding it will only make it enticing. Let the kid have only one sip of a your drink at dinnertime. Explain that you don't binge on over-the-counter medication. Same with alcohol.

Your sister couldn't be more right. Maybe you should be more open-minded and listen to her.

As you say "... she is a good kid, spends most of her time reading, and gets good grades." So let them be. It is not hard to understand that they think that learning about responsible use of alcohol with parents at that age is way better than what her peers are up to - binge drinking. BTW legal age in a lot of countries is less than 21 (eg 18).

My parents usually get mad at me because I never accept when they offer me alcohol... they have been doing this since I was 13 or something. I suppose they were doing the right thing... I guess I just never wanted to drink, because many people in my family are annoying alcoholics, and I guess I could be one too.

I'd rather my child experience these things with me there to protect them and teach them, than to have them do it when I'm not there and possibly end up in trouble or dead.
I wouldn't let my 11 year old do it now, but when he's older and getting more curious, I will let him sip a little and have talks with him about how alcohol could effect one's life.
I want him to forever be comfortable with me. If he feels he can't talk to me about having tried a beer at a friends house (because I've been against him trying it), than what else would he be uncomfortable telling me?

My Mum started to buy me beer when I was about 13 and then I started going to the pubs when I was 15. I respected my Mum a lot more for treating me like a grown up at the time. She knew it was better for me to have a few beers with friends inside the house instead of wandering the streets which I also did sometimes and that usually ended in disaster like being carried home and put to bed by a policeman.

Stay out of it.

as long as they are not drinking it excessively, I don't see the problem... I have been tasting all kinds of alcoholic drinks since i was a little kid, just tasting... I'm 21 and I've never been drunk. I would rather drink with family than somewhere like a club or party as my friends did around that age...

My parents let me begin drinking at that age and what I noticed is that my friends with stricter parents always snuck out and got themselves into trouble, indulging in that natural teenage urge to rebel. Since I was allowed to drink, I knew a lot more about how alcohol reacted with my body if I drank too much and soon leant quickly the consequences of drinking too much. I remember lots of times at parties when my friends and I got into trouble, and I was able to feel comfortable enough to ring home for help whereas friends thought they'd get into trouble and ended up running off or doing other things like that.
I understand your point of view however, and big booze filled nights are defiantly a no-no for 16 year olds. But it's unavoidable.

depending on how often its not a huge deal, I understand your view but I'm sure ur sister would rather do it in front off her than off somewhere getting drunk. my dad would occasionally let my sister and i have a little glass of wine or whatever.

Your neice already knows about alcohol so I'm sure your sister is letting her try it so it's not soo taboo or made into a big curiousity where your neice might overdo it if she were out with her friends.

I think all you can do is let your sister know your concern but it's up to her how to raise her child.

That is not good parenting.