Is it normal for my grandma to be fraternizing with young men online games?

64% Normal
6 Comments

My grandmother who is about 70, has always been into video games ever since Donkey Kong for one if the earlier Nintendo systems.
Lately shes been playing Fallout 76 (PS4). Although this is fine she's been playing on multiplayer and has made some friends mostly Men.
I understand my grandmother doesn't go out much, nor does she have friends her own age, she's retired and her gaming is almost excessive at this point (but that is for another time)

She's become pretty close with these 3 guys to a point where she has them on a PS4 app for messaging that she barely understands. They text and she receives photos of them. She doesn't send any back cause she claims she wants to "lose weight to look nicer for them."
Although lately she's been...Flirting? and entering romantic idea's with these men.
We've warned her about the online dangers that people could be trying because my grandmother is very gullible.
We were talking about them, earlier about these friends cause she was flirting with them and she claimed
"what's wrong with it being romantic" which led to a bit of a heated conversation.

On the side she claimed "Its not like its gonna be my heart that's gonna be broken" which is.. Unnerving... Do I have a right to feel that way?

I don't know how to feel about this, She's 70 she can do whatever she wants, but I can't see this ending well very well :/
We're just concerned for her, And its led me to this silly page

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 14 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Of course you're concerned for her well being. Thing is, all you can do is make those concerns known. Sounds like you have already. She's acknowledged it. That's where your involvement ends. She's a grown woman. You can't babysit her. Whatever happens from there is on her.

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      What Orbison said.

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  • Mishl
    4 years ago

    You should let your grandma have some platonic fun. I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as you warn her not to give any personal information that could put her in danger.
    I don't really understand whether you're concerned about your grandmother's safety or whether you're scandalised because she's flirting. Those are two separate things. Nothing wrong with the second one.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    I only read the first paragraph. MIND YA OWN BUSINESS.

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  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    Catfishing Granny. It would be really funny - to an outsider, anyway - if the guys' online personas were just as fake as hers.

    I'm over sixty, and I realised a while ago that many younger people have problems understanding what happens as you get older. I don't see women in their twenties and thirties any differently to how I saw them when I was their age, but I know that they just see an old dude when they look at me. I'm sensible enough not to hit on them or flirt, but inside this old body there's a guy who's still in his mid thirties.

    Some people have their fiftieth or sixtieth birthday, decide they're over the hill, and start to behave like stereotypical old people, but the anonymity of the internet means you don't have to do that online. I can understand your grandmother wanting to have a little romance in her life, particularly if her real life is as boring as you suggest. However, the emotional buzz she gets from what she's doing is based on lies, and that's not a good thing. It's also possible that she could cause real emotional harm to the guys when the truth comes out.

    My mother-in-law is in her mid-eighties, and she got involved (IRL) with a guy in his fifties a few years back. Basically, what it's about is that my m-i-l simply refuses to accept that she's elderly now, and that makes her very susceptible to flattery that seems transparently phoney to my wife and me. The situation drives my wife nuts, and she's very worried about the guy exploiting her mother. Recently, our eleven year-old daughter said that it looked to her like the reverse of the typical mother-teen daughter situation, where the mother is worried about her daughter having an unsuitable boyfriend, and the daughter stubbornly refuses to see the guy for what he is. I thought that was very perceptive, and just as in cases like that, the fact is that my wife has no choice but to accept the situation.

    It seems to me all you can do is try to communicate to your grandmother your concerns and emphasise the very real dangers of her telling the guys anything about her real-life identity or specific location. You say you've already done this, so, to be blunt, I think you need to butt out now. Your grandmother may be old and gullible, and your concern for her well-being is laudable, but so long as she retains her mental faculties she has the right to live her life as she chooses.

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    • McBean
      4 years ago

      The thing is that Granny is a gamer. So, her recreational mindset has much more in common with younger people. I too, talk to thirtysomethings constantly on social media, and have worked with new grad comp sci / math majors most of my career. What I'm saying is that you assimulate their mannerisms and perspectives subconsciously. After two or three years you can have a better conversation with someone forty years younger than you can with someone your own age.

      My main point is that mental resiliency need not be age dependent. If you can keep cellular aging to a minimum (remember the trillions of nerve cells in your brain) and actively pursue acquisition of knowledge from areas of research that are getting unexpected traction, you're STILL in the game, dude. And, you will have to seek out younger professionals that know the pulse that civilization's heart is beating to. Because they are the heart. Forget about dumb ass media news. IMHO, work-outs, antioxidants, professional journals, and convos with guys like Vantablack are what count. Don't let your larger than necessary retirement fund make you get comfortable in your chair.

      What do you think there, Booj? Your perspectives contrast nicely to my own.

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