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when she does it I always get scared as shit but nothing ends up happening, is this a normal part of relationships?
As both of my clones said, you should start looking for a new partner. This girl is already dismantling the relationship in her head and there is nothing you can do.
Be ready next time she brings it up. Let her know in detail how you would move on and whom you would do. She may just be manipulating you.
I guess that depends on how often she says it, and what she follows it with.
I think she's testing you. It's truly a no win situation. As my clone says; you should be looking for your next ex, because this one is gonna be your present ex real soon.