Is it normal for my best friend to be obsessed over a guy and act like this?

46% Normal
11 Comments

Ok, sorry this is long!...Im a girl. My best friend is a girl and we've been close for a long time. she has a crush on a guy but this guy is not interested in her and is with someone else.

I'm there for my friend but shes so wrapped up in this love triangle that's it dominating her life. She constantly texts him, writes poems, does drawings and publishes it all on the the website to win him over. I keep arranging social activities offline but she keeps cancelling on me because she busy trying to convince this bloke to leave his girlfriend for her.

(I'm quite busy in my life, parents divorcing, I've gotta move out and my health in a pretty bad way, in desperate need for friends so her problems aren't at the center of my life but I'm there for her and she knows it)

Right, this incident that's bugging me has happened online on an art forum where myself, my best friend, her crush and his girlfriend all participate....This guy's (whom my friend is mad for) girlfriend does really nice art work and the point of this website is to comment what you like and share your work. She did a lovely drawing of a dog with muddy paws and we commented/chatted online we each other (myself and the girlfriend) about muddy paws because we both work with dogs

I got an angry text from my friend this evening telling me NEVER to comment on any of the girlfriend's art work again and to stop leaving comments on her own page!

I reacted quit badly to this because we've never had a fight. The love triangle has nothing to do with me so I see this girl just as another member of the website. I didn't do it to hurt my friend as she so thinks, there no reference to any relationships or congratulations on their love as some members have done (but I haven't)

SO MY QUESTION:...was i wrong to comment on the girlfriends page in respect of my friends feelings or is my friend become so wound up in her love triangle that's shes turned angry and controlling over me because she cant get her own way with him? Whats so stupid about this is theguy and girlfriend don't even know who i am!!!

P.s. We have made up now, after trying to get her to see that we should be helping each other through our problems and not fighting - she said the guy has cut all contact with her which is why she was upset. (not actually surprised because she was kind of interfering with their lives - kept trying to tell her she wouldn't like it if someones was doing it to her relationship but she doesn't seem to understand.

I'm still hurting over the things shes said to me. Since he came along...we never do anything...I've tried so many times but shes sort of pushed me out (been going on to 2 years now and been trying to tell her how i feel but she wont listen.) Ive been in this situation before and its hard! But I've learnt to move on...but I cant make her see a way forward. ANY ADVICE?

SORRY ITS SO LONG!
THANKS FOR READING IF YOU GO THIS FAR! APPRECIATE IT

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46% Normal
Based on 41 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    I'm sorry i fell asleep.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      lol i know i rambled on never mind :)

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        I tried very hard not to.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          don't worry...don't usually write this much! its a silly little petty thing that's part of a bigger problem, namely life. But I've got my answers now

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          • Terence_the_viking
            11 years ago

            Good luck with what ever you decide to do.

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  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    I know you miss you friend but she sounds like an awful, stalkerish, codependent, slag wannabe skankasaurus. You're probably better off without her. I know I sound mean but I lost three girlfriends like her last year and yes I'm lonely but they were toxic and selfish and your so called friend sounds like a poisonous selfish girl.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Know the feeling! shes completely different to what she was...i genuinely believe shes still a good friend that's just messed in the head but I've tried giving so much help but she only listens to what she wants to hear and not the truth. When it gets a point when shes lashes her anger on you I don't see why I should bother anymore. In the last few months
      ...she wont do anything with me, though we do still talk
      ...i tried to get her to understand her different feelings towards different people and said how would she react if i suddenly wasn't in her life...she said shed feel sad but move on pretty quick! (id be lost without her!)
      ....she tried to bully me into being a guarantor for a loan with 200% APR over a year (I'll barely be able to afford the roof over my head, shes had money problems before and she thinks I'm being a bad friend by not helping her and trusting her with this loan. The company operates a "trust slogan" - i told her company doesn't care about anything the but money so I said if she sold her PS3 (which honesty you don't really need and you can replace it later on - i sold a lot of my stuff when i couldn't work and realized I didn't actually need it :)!) then i said try and find some cash to help her...and she said no it was a stupid idea and said i was no use to her - but kept on pestering me to do it. Gave her alternatives such as contacting banks who really help, CAB etc...but no she just says I'm being selfish!!!!! Really cant be doing with all this..im loosing so much in my life now i don't want to loose her but i honestly don't like the way she is now

      Sorry about your friends...think all of my girly friends have ditched me for boys now....don't understand why when boys come on the scene the girly ones get left and forgotten...her sister did it to me a while ago...my friend said she wouldn't do that...well boviosuly she has now! So yeah feeling lonely but just focusing on work. I come into contact with a lot of older people at work and i get on so much better with them then people my age...not healthy to be on your own, we need people our age...sure must be an online community somewhere to mingle with you rage groups :)
      thanks for reading the story by the way (and this!)

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  • Ethereal-Silence
    11 years ago

    Oh and you had every right to comment and your friend probably took it as a prick to her pride

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      phew! that was my initial reaction and boy did i tell her...wondered if i acted the right way because I can see her point...but because shes lost control over her life (she cant get own way) shes trying to control me. Shes changed so much its horrible.

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  • Ethereal-Silence
    11 years ago

    Maybe now that he has severed ties you will get the attention you deserve and your friend can see how consumed she was. Tell your friend your qualms, these situations are always baneful but i would say that it is only sonewhat normal (she seems reallll obsessive) If the art was solely to impress even moreso but some people are just lonely and feel they need to capture a moment that ends up imprisoning them because it does not exist on this plane, the dream then slowly fading with a wisp of disdain.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      well, i found rude comments on the girlfriends art work from my friend, hes obliviously not happy and had a go at her. But before when hes ignored her, she starts posting depressing images (which I can understand - self expression) but then he contacts her, it cheers her instantly and the cycle starts again. He really needs to stop contacting altogether (he was feeling guilty)because she responsible for her own happiness. I really hope fro my friends sake he stays with his girl because I don't want my friend to think its ok to do this to people, otherwise she'll never learn.

      She says shes not giving up until they actually meet...but they've been chatting face to face on Skype...that's pretty much meeting nowadays so its hardly gona change when they do meet up for real.
      She thinks (she and him) had something a while ago...then my friend goes off with another bloke...it goes wrong so she goes back to her crush but hes with someone now - that's her story she reckons she had him then lost him. Ive read every single conversation she's had with him...and what he's had with his now girlfriend....he was into his girlfriend long before my friend came along but shes so wrapped up in her head she doesn't see the truth.

      She actually knows everything that's going in my life but since this obsessive crush she's changed way too much. Ive been in a love triangle and the only way to over come it was zero contact, but I've now got to a point where i can catch up with him (still have feelings for him naturally) but then I'm able to move on with my life happily so i still have him as friend which feels good. My friend is in serious trouble because she is pushing it way too much shes gona loose him altogether but shes so stubborn she wont listen to me

      (thanks for reading the story :) it helps)

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