Is it normal for me to not want to ever meet my boyfriend's mother ?

85% Normal
6 Comments

Well, to start off, I have been dating this man for over a year and a half but I haven't met his mother yet. she lives in the next town over and he still goes to see her. She is sick and will most likely die in the next few years. He has told me about how she treated him in his youth which really bothers me because she abandoned him and his siblings when he was 12 or so. It is because of this that I do not care to ever meet her. I am, on the other hand, perfectly willing to meet his father who lives out of state. I have talked to his father on the phone several times and I like him a lot. He seems like a good father despite the differences that he has had with my boyfriend. I sometimes feel bad about not wanting to meet his mother but I really don't want to meet anyone who treated my boyfriend so badly especially as a child. Do you all blame me for not wanting to meet her ? Every time that my boyfriend mentions his mother or going to see his mother I basically act like I am not interested as nonchalantly as I possibly can. I think he gets the message but I am not sure. it is nothing against him, it is just that I do not and I mean DO NOT like the way she treated him.

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 20 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • charli.m
    7 years ago

    I can understand not liking someone who mistreated your significant other. However, if it's important to him to still have her as a part of his life, in spite of what she has done to him, then do you think perhaps it is more hurtful to him for you to react this way?

    He was the one he hurt directly. You're only hurt because someone you love was hurt. I'm not saying that doesn't count, just that his stance takes precedence over yours.

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    • JvpiterMaximvs
      7 years ago

      I know what you mean but he doesn't really make an effort to go see her either. he hasn't forgiven her for the things that she has done.

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  • Shackleford96
    7 years ago

    It's understandable, but you need to be accepting of his choice. It sounds like you are acting a bit negative towards him and that's not really fair if you are.

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  • sillygirl77
    7 years ago

    While I understand why you may not want to meet her, I think you should take his lead here... it is his mom and she's dying. He has made the decision he wants to see her and the most supportive thing you can do is go along since he's asking you to!

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  • TrustMeImLying
    7 years ago

    And why haven't you talked to him about this? Don't you think he would understand your stance given that he was the one who went through the emotional abuse?

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    • JvpiterMaximvs
      7 years ago

      it is extremely difficult to bring up such topics with him. I will try in time.

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