Is it normal for me to not talk to anyone anymore after going through this?

63% Normal
7 Comments

I have been through hell in the past 20 years of my life. And some of the latest step I am taking in my life are just so hard to explain.

I didn't live with my parents for 7 years of my life. Then finally when I did they were too busy working to have anytime for me, so we never made it to a point of having any kind of relationship. I don't have any siblings. So I was always alone. Eventually few years later after moving in with my parents I found a substitute for my parents in one of the staff members at my school. That lasted for a short period of time as I grew up and advanced to the next level of my education. The connection with this person was so strong that till this day its been more than 5 years I still wake up in middle of the night crying because this person is no longer part of my life the way they once were. I have run into this person few times here and there as well as been back to school few times in the past several years to see them. Anyhow during high school I didn't have any friends (not that I have any now), parents obviously were NEVER there, nor do I expect them to be there now, counselors and therapist was always there (not to mention always felt judged by them as well as had a very hard time trusting them). So now finally after 10 years of giving my parents and family members chances to love me accept me, I have decided regardless of the fact I live under the same roof with them I have stopped talking to EVERYONE for the past few months. And now everyone is trying to talk to me and say well forget what happened. Let's start fresh. They seem to be doing this because they feel hurt now. The thing is though what about the 10 years where I went to sleep every night with tears in my eyes.What about the pain I felt and still do and always will of not having loving parents, family members or anyone. What about the days where I had no one to hold me close to their heart and say I love you and everything will be okay. What about my graduation where I had no one from family there for me. What about my birthdays where instead of wishing myself happy birthday I wished death for myself. What about going to sleep hungry every night because it hurt to see my parents' face so I didn't even bother going to the kitchen to get myself something to eat. What about the weekends where I now take sleeping pills and sleep for up to even 26 hours straight? What about not having someone who will look me in the eye and say you are not okay and wrap their arms around me and take the pain away for the moment? What about always feeling every hates you? What about coworkers telling you if you went to their high school they would have bullied you?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 19 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Caryopteris
    11 years ago

    I agree that it is unnatural for a kid to grow up not having parents who think they are awesome. Even though I grew up in a family that looked perfect from the outside, my family members were very cold and critical. I wanted to kill myself. My 5th grade teacher was wonderful and made me feel special and loved. I cried when she decided to get married and move away. I got married young to escape. I thought I would feel nurtured by the new family, but you know what? They were messed up in their own ways. Your life will not improve until you build your own paradise. You are worth it. Plan to get your education some way in a career where you can get independent. Get your own place and take up a hobby and make friends with people who value you. Don't forget you need to have something to offer too. You won't be attractive if you continue to focus on a past that you can't help. You only have control of planning for a better future. Try to get any financial help to go to school that you can get and just spend as much time as you can stand. You can't change them. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, but they were born with a personality that makes terrible parents for certain other personalities. My brother, the first born smart one, did fine with my parents. Go figure. Mom should have had 2 sons, but instead she had 1 son and 3 daughters. Not a good match for her personality. I rarely see the family members I don't enjoy. They will never understand why I avoid them, but I don't need them now ... I needed them then!

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  • Leviathanel
    11 years ago

    you need to be strong... you are alone that should teach you one thing. you must always watch your own back because there's nobody there to watch yours.

    if you feel unloved you can only blame yourself. why does everyone feel entitled to love? we don't need love to live that's all disney bullshit. so get over your wimpy little self and hold your head up. because the rest is just survival if you fail this then it's like being in the wild.

    you will die.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Relax. Breathe. Become one with the light.

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    • I-Wish-BJo-Was-My_Sister
      11 years ago

      dude you sound like a total hippy lol plus my gf says darth is usually a name for evil people on the dark side of things so you might not want to say "Become one with the light."

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Is tihs your way of reaching out.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    If you don't want to talk to them, don't. If you don't want to live with them, don't. I'm sure you've heard this, but there are people out there that have went though a lot worse. It seems really fucking weird that you live with them but hate them. Clearly you don't hate them enough to stop letting them support you. There is a point where a person can get to where they say they rather "suffer" be poor, whatever than go through drama. I've been there.

    I would have more respect for you if they were harassing you or something, and you were independent and had left, but it doesn't sound like they are. At least they've always supported you financially. That is more than some people have.

    You should not be so emotive. Don't let bad stuff, and bad people bring you down! Don't let those fuckers win! One of the best things you can do is show them they mean nothing.

    But, I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry you were so hurt, but you shouldn't keep from talking to anyone. You should get friends.

    And I gotta ask... do they know they hurt you? Really? If they do, fuck them. If they don't, well, you don't really have the right to complain so much.

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  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    I would advise you strongly to seek the help of a mental health professional. It sounds like you are suffering from deep depression.

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