Is it normal for me to feel guilty after dumping one of my friends?

71% Normal
9 Comments

Well, I wouldn't really call her a friend. Just a mutual friend that I was often around. Anyway, we were both semi abusive to eachother. She would tell me that I didn't amount to anything, or that my opinion didn't matter because I was stupid, or constantly remind me that she was smarter and worth more than I was. On the flip side, she needs someone who gives her individual attention and I would never be around her if my other friends weren't there. The more condescending she was, the more I just stayed away. We're both good people but our personalities just do not mix in the slightest.

I started dating a guy eventually, and they hated one another. He found her rude and abrasive and ignored her, which she despised. I just sort of kept them seperated. After a year she told me to choose between him and her. I chose him. It wasn't a vocal thing, I just stopped talking to her completely.

It's been two years since then and I'm pretty confident in my decision. The only downside are the people who judge me harshly because I chose my boyfriend over a friend. I can't help but feel guilty over the entire thing. I want to apologize for hurting her and not being straightforward, but I also don't want to open that door up for friendship again. Should I feel guilty? Is it even normal to feel such a way at all?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 17 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Edweekiark
    7 years ago

    It's all her fault. You gracefully flushed her down the toilet which was a befitting end to piece of shit like her.

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    She doesn't sound a true friend at all so I say kudos to you for cutting ties with her crazy ass. I dunno if you're still with your boyfriend, but I think you made the right choice. Then again there are cockroaches that would probably be a better choice than her. Additionally, it's my firm belief that it's usually best when given an ultimatum to dump the person who gives one the ultimatum, because one doesn't need a manipulative and controlling asshole anyway. Don't ever feel guilty, just thank God or thank your lucky stars that you had the courage to dump her cunt ass. Be grateful, and rejoice in your freedom!
    ☆♡☆♡☆♡
    >:-D

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  • WinterStormGuy_Of_Feb9,1968
    7 years ago

    Your personalities just clashed and you done what was best.
    Sure your missing her but consider something, is things much better with her not part of your life? Was her abusive mostly her fault ? She simply told you to pick either her or choose your boyfriend, so you chose him did she have some type of secret crush on you? I know friends and even relatives can become addicted to one another it can be hard.

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    • cinderfloof
      7 years ago

      I'm much more confident without someone constantly reminding me of my faults, but my other friends consider it utter evil to choose a boyfriend over a friend even with the circumstances. Its just sort of portrayed through passive aggressive statements like, "you'll regret that when you fall out of obsession with him" (despite the face I've been dating him for three years) or "you just don't know how to be a friend". She was going through things with her parents telling her that she was never enough and thus they expected me to just deal with it. That makes life a lot harder conversely.

      I don't think she had a crush. I wouldn't like someone but constantly tell them how worthless they are.

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      • WinterStormGuy_Of_Feb9,1968
        7 years ago

        What i would do is sit down and right her a nice letter
        and explain to her that you done lot things to make the
        friendship work but your personalities clash so much.

        You could even send her a card with the letter
        saying Thinking of you and tell her how much she
        meant to you but just you can't handle the personality
        clashing cause it's making you sick.

        If she was going through stuff with her parents
        most likely she was taking things out on her friends
        maybe her home life was horrible them things do happen
        or maybe it's for the best you just never know.

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        • cinderfloof
          7 years ago

          I've thought about doing that, but will it just escalate the issue? I don't want to make things awkward for the friends I have now. She's also terribly stubborn. Unless I grab her and force her to listen or tell her that I broke up with him, I doubt she'll accept anything.

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          • WinterStormGuy_Of_Feb9,1968
            7 years ago

            One thing gotta ask yourself, how will she treat you as a friend if you take her back cause i believe that your friendship ended for a good reason i can feel that one?

            Also gotta ask yourself if she's worth going through stuff and if your friends are good to you and care about you maybe they can see that she's bad news for you to be around her too hard to say?

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            • cinderfloof
              7 years ago

              I doubt it would change, but it might. I wouldn't know really. It isn't like this is all her fault either. I wasn't honest with my feelings and didn't even try to salvage the relationship while it was happening.

              I have this ideal where I believe people are genuinely worth anything. She's no exception. My friends are pretty much either didn't like her to begin with, I didn't tell them, or they sided with her. They won't be any help. I would just forget it and hang out with the boyfriend, but he's currently in boot camp.

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  • Someonee
    7 years ago

    You three can patch up and have a hot threesome in bed. Who said a couple should only be limited to two. You three can be fuck buddies for life. threesomes are so hot, XD!

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