Is it normal for me to expect love when i have such bad scars?

I'm an 18 year old girl, I've never even been kissed or asked out. When I was 1 year old a kettle of boiling water fell on top of me and left me with scars down the side of my neck and my right arm. I usually wear long sleeves to cover my scars (even in summer I wear loose blooses and shirts) because I hate being stared at, I am very self conscious and have no self esteem. I go to an all girls school and literally don't know any boys. I feel like I will never find someone who will love me or even find me attractive. I am a great cook, I love kids and I am very independent when it comes to looking after myself and running my home (rewiring plugs, building flatpacks etc.) but I still just want a nice house, with a loving husband and kids of my own. Is this realistic? Is it normal to hope for this?

Voting Results
97% Normal
Based on 31 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • thegypsysailor

    There are so many people in this world who think they are so very unattractive that there will never be anyone who could love them, but they are so, so very wrong. You are very young yet and need to slow down and be patient. Boys your age are mostly very shallow and don't look beyond the surface; you wouldn't want someone like that anyway. But as you mature, you will meet another class of man who will be much more interested in who you are, than what you look like.
    I promise you, there will be several men who will be mature, intelligent and wonderful guys, so don't settle for the first guy who is nice to you. Be picky and choose well; you deserve to be happy and a few scars are no deterrent to true love.

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  • seakelp

    Totally realistic! Make an effort to talk to people and put yourself out there. While your scars may make you feel self-conscious, think of it this way: Someone who makes fun of a burn victim's scars is objectively a bad person and you can feel morally superior to them.

    While the scars may cause consternation in potential partners, others may find that they're attractive as well. Just try to be outgoing and you'll at least interact with a wider range of people.

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    • CuteKitten

      I would love to be able to "put myself out there" but unfortunately I live in a very small town in Ireland and there's not much I can do. I'm kinda hoping college will be a fresh start for me

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      • iEatZombies_

        People generally don't see burn scars as a put-off if they're attracted to the rest of the person. It's like having a big nose and a hot ass. Just keep yourself healthy and confident, someone will find you beautiful.

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        • CuteKitten

          Love the name, its good to know someone is fighting back on the whole zombie apocalypse thing

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          • iEatZombies_

            It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. =)

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            • CuteKitten

              And we salute you sir

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  • It's not a big deal. My ex-girlfriend had pretty severe scars and they were on her face and were very noticeable. She was extremely self conscious about it and would get upset if anyone even mentioned it. I dated her for 4 years and I still don't even know how she got them. It doesn't really matter. She seems to be dealing with it better these days. Despite this she is still good looking. Don't worry about what anyone thinks because if they judge you for something as little as that they didn't matter anyways. People judged me for dating my ex as well and I thought it was somewhat of a good thing because it filtered out all the people who judge others based on things they can't change.

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    • CuteKitten

      Well I don't get upset when people ask about them, its just curiosity. I'd actually rather someone to ask than for ot to be the elephant between us that makes awkward. After they find out it takes less time for them to see the person I am; caring, funny, determined etc.

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      • I don't think they will cause you any problems other than people might ask about it. Its good you aren't upset about it. You should be fine.

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  • daydreamer394

    My friend's actually got similar scarring (some of which is on her face) and she's in a relationship. I've known her for so long I don't even think about it. It doesn't bother me at all; you just get used to it. When you get to know someone, it's their personality that makes them beautiful. She's kind, funny, supportive.
    I could pass someone on the street and could tell if they were pretty, but nothing more if I didn't know them from the inside out. And when somebody is a horrible person, it will always negatively taint how you see them, too. In other words, you can absolutely be loved and accepted.
    It's completely realistic! At least you can discern who's shallow and who's worth getting to know.
    As for the fact you've never been in a relationship, that's completely normal too. All you have to do is look it up. It's nothing to do with you as a person. For a start, you merely have less opportunities because you go to an all-girls school.
    There's no rush anyway. :)

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    • CuteKitten

      Thanks so much for the support. You're right about everything I also think that my scars helped me build character and maturity as I grew up.
      Its nice to know that there are people who understand :)

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  • clevelandashkenaziatheist

    The outlook of the people around you will change as you get older. Many more adults will choose their partners on personality than schoolkids will. When you get out into the world, you'll get plenty of opportunities, as long as you put yourself out there unafraid of the rejections that everybody will get in their lives. Extroversion and niceness will get you far.

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    • CuteKitten

      Thanks I definitely agree. Sonetimes I feel like some of my feiends are only popular because they're pretty but hopefully I'll find someone who can see me for me

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