Is it normal for it to bother you that your boyfriend lied about being a virgin

72% Normal
11 Comments

This may sound stupid, but my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 4 months and are very much in love. We're planning on getting married as soon as we can. Now along time ago we asked each other about one another's sexual past and we BOTH said we were virgins. He just completely lied to me. Months later (after I had fallen in love with him) I found out that he wasn't and that he had once with his ex. I asked him why he lied and he said he was afraid of what I would think.

Is it stupid that it bothers me? I know he regrets it and I feel bad for him, but it just eats away at me. Like I can never have all of him and I'll always come second to him if that makes any sense.

I just need help on what to do and how to forget and not let it bother me!

Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 61 votes (44 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • BluntsRolled
    11 years ago

    Would you really leave him for something this dumb though? I mean he lied ultimately to protect YOUR feelings, also its not like he's picking up random prostitutes on a weekly basis, he had sex ONE time while you guys weren't even together.

    I guess you can then say "Oh well he still lied!"
    Yea, true, but he eventually came clean about it, and you even said yourself that you know for a fact that he regrets it.

    Cut the nigga some slack, chill out, suck his cock, make him a sandwich (in that order), and all will be well I promise you.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    His intentions were good (not hurting you) but the means were bad

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  • crazycatlady420
    11 years ago

    It's totally normal that it bothers you that he lied!! However, IMO, it really doesn't matter that he wasn't a virgin, only that he was dishonest about it. If he really does regret having sex with his ex, you're not gone be 'second best'. As for not having 'all of him', I just really don't get that at all.....my hubby had MANY partners b4 we met, I'd only had 2 but that doesn't change how we feel about each other now. The past doesn't matter, I have 'all of him' now and that's all that matters :)

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  • Alibukre
    8 years ago

    Are you guys still together?

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  • jnicole36987
    11 years ago

    Yeah. Thank you. It may not seem like it, but this actually helps.

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  • Bow95
    11 years ago

    I feel the same way! I really hate answers like, "it's in the past it doesn't matter." But, to me it does. I'd want to be first and only one.

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Well.. Alot of virgins want to lose their v-card to another virgin. It an isecurity most common in virgins. I think most people would be upset... I don't want to be a party pooper, but this stuff usually means alot to you when you're new at it, so you're not likely to get over it easily... Not much you can do but just go with it..

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  • YBNormal
    11 years ago

    Actually, one of my "friends" growing up "lost his virginity" many, many times. He found out that saying he was a virgin made him more interesting to women... if they were virgins too, they got to live their dream of being each other's "firsts," and if they weren't virgins, they got turned on at the idea of "popping" him. That man got a lot of women, no doubt. It worked for him over and over again.

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  • jnicole36987
    11 years ago

    Thank you. That's helps I guess. It's not really the fact that he isn't, it's the fact that he lied and I fell in love with him thinking that he was a virgin.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    I think it's normal to be bothered by it. He lied to make you feel more comfortable about having sex with him. I don't see that is having "good intentions" or to "protect you", I see that as lying to you to get you into bed.

    As long as you know he regrets lying then that's a bit better at least, and I wouldn't leave him over it. The issue isn't that he wasn't a virgin (that doesn't matter) but that he lied about it to make you think he was someone he wasn't. I understand your feelings, but I don't know how to stop them :/

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  • ILoveJoshHutcherson
    11 years ago

    NORMAL

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