Is it normal for him to be this inconsiderate?

26% Normal
21 Comments

I work 2 jobs and pay most of the bills. I buy little for myself. My husband has 1 job and he pays the rest of the bills and he spends the rest of his money on his hobbies like drag racing and guitar playing. I got pregnant on my birth control and had a miscarriage. I was in the hospital for 2 days because the bleeding was bad and it was mostly covered by my health insurance but I do have a decent sized bill but I also lost pay for a week because I couldn't work throughout the whole event.

I have an emergency savings that I'll have to use now (and it will be used up). I went and asked my husband if he could cover the share of the bills I couldn't pay with my paychecks and he flat-out said no. I asked him if he even had the money and he said he was going to be putting that toward one of his cars. It really upset me so I've just silently paid the bills and haven't said anything to him about it since.

I am really upset. It is a literal case of insult to injury. Is it normal for someone to be this inconsiderate?

Voting Results
26% Normal
Based on 54 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Parky_Parker
    9 years ago

    Is he 16 years old???

    This isn't normal behavior for a married person. You have medical bills to pay and he would rather spend money on new car tires so he can race his friend? Don't bring a child into this world with this moron. DIVORCE.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    If you let somebody be inconsiderate they will. Being inconsiderate makes sense if you don't lose anything from it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Should I divorce him? Because I am so upset about the whole thing that I can't even stand looking at him. I feel like he kicked me when I was down and doesn't care.

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        Only you can decide that. Don't expect him to change if you stay though.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          I want to divorce him... I believed in the sanctity of marriage and that divorce was the last resort but these 3 years are hell. He gave up trying once he signed the marriage contract.

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          • itsme.com
            9 years ago

            If you try and try to make things better and he doesn't try anything, then he doesn't care, if I were you, I would divorce him.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Woah, what an asshole! Sorry to say this about your husband, I'm sure you love him, but it doesn't sound like he loves you. Since when is a car more important that your spouse's health? You could have died, and he doesn't even seem to care. Another thing, the miscarriage only happened because you fell pregnant, and he is 50% responsible for that so he should actually pay half of your bills. Its not YOUR health issue, its his too because that baby you miscarried was 50% his DNA. By the way. I'm really sorry to heal about your loss. May I ask what birth control you were using? I thought it was damn near impossible to fall pregnant on hormonal BC.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I was on the Depo shot... I have been on the shot for the past 3 years and did mine all on time and religiously. I've always had erratic periods though so I didn't find out I was pregnant until 2 weeks before I miscarried. I don't even want to think about that part right now. He really is showing his true colors...

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    9 years ago

    So from what you're saying, he'd rather choose one of his cars over helping his own spouse? I won't ask why you married a douche, but I will say that maybe you should just cut your losses and divorce him.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I told him that my paycheck wouldn't cover the electric and water bill AND the medical bill and he said "Well just don't pay the medical bill" and I asked him if he could pay the electric and water himself, "Sorry, I can't", are you short on money? "No, but I am racing my friend from out of town next month and I need to put that money into new racing tires". I just said ok and walked away...

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      • Cuntsiclestick
        9 years ago

        Like I said before, cut your losses and divorce him.

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      • iEatZombies_
        9 years ago

        He literally just said playing toy cars with his friend is a bigger priority than medical bills and utilities. You know very well that he is treating you poorly. Tell him you're not paying electric/water, you're paying your medical. It's just as much his responsibility as yours, so if it's not taken care of it's on him. It's obvious he needs you more than you need him. Tell the spoiled brat to grow up or there will be a whole lot of bills you won't pay. Say cable, internet, etc. Stop spoiling him, you're not his mom. He's supposed to have your back in sickness. Demand some damn respect. Grow some backbone. Do not be a victim.
        Don't think this won't happen again if you move on. As long as you think you should bend over backwards, you will be bent over backwards. If you think you deserve respect, you will own respect. Balance yourself out. Give yourself, but don't throw yourself about.

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    He is childishly selfish and will never grow up. Leave him now, then file for a divorce.

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago

    Divorce him. Sounds like my aunt's ex-husband. This type of person is inconsiderate and will want to be your first priority once you have a small family.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    He is a giant piece of shit; wipe your ass and flush him down to the sewer where he belongs!

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  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    He obviously doesnt care. Divorce him now.

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    Cars. Serious shit to men...

    But seriously, divorce this fucking assclown now. That is not on.
    Don't calm down & start to forgive him.
    Get rid of him now!
    There is so much better out there & I'm sure you deserve that...

    Are you a young couple?
    Recently married?
    Don't even know why I'm asking as it won't change my advice...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I am 26, he is 28 and we have been married for 3 years and together for 5. I'll be taking a day off next week to file the papers in court.

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      • derpyderp
        9 years ago

        So you are leaving him?
        Good to hear!
        There is no reason to stay in a relationship with someone like that.

        Even the fact that you were working 2 jobs & paying for almost everything while he worked a single job & spent most of his income on himself is crazy.

        I wish you luck in the future.
        Hope you find someone that treats you right!

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Oh, I see. That's pretty weird that the shot failed on you though, but not impossible I guess. I was on the shot for two years and I switched to the pill because of all the erratic bleeding, although I guess you can't really call it a period since you're not meant to be ovulating on the shot but I guess in your case this was a little different. Its awful that you miscarried though :( I can only imagine how horrible that must feel. I would reccomend an IUD or implant but they're just as effective as the shot so I guess its a one in a 1000 chance that it will happen nomatter what birth control you use. How long have you and your husband been together? And what areyour ages if I may ask? He sounds very inconsiderate and immature.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I am 26, we've been together for 5 years and I am going to be put on the IUD next month because I have to clear it with the doctor that I am fully healed after the event. He is 28, by the way.

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