Is it normal for guys to treat girls they think are too good for them poorly?

23% Normal
10 Comments

I hear a lot that guys behave this way towards girls they think are too good for them, but I'm not sure I've ever bought into that excuse. It just makes no sense; if they really thought the girl was that great, wouldn't they do everything in their power to keep her?

In fact, I got told this when my ex cheated on me with a girl who was a severe downgrade from me in every way (and I don't say this to be hateful or conceited, but it was true). This girl had some very severe issues and it made me feel awful, like I must be truly awful if he thought she was better (and I know this sounds horribly disrespectful towards her and I don't mean it that way, just describing how it felt). The story I got from my friends and close family was that he realized I was too good for him. I treated him like gold and never gave any indication that I thought he wasn't good enough for me, nor did I ever even think that. 

I've had another ex and a guy I was friends with and wanted to get closer to act really hot and cold towards me as well. One day they'd act like they actually enjoyed being around me, then the next they'd act like I was a second class citizen or just pretend I didn't exist. When I've asked why some guys do that, it's the same answer: Because they don't think they're good enough/think I'm too good for them.

But why? The only thing I can think of is that it's a manipulation tactic to try to knock the girl's confidence and self esteem in order to try and get her to believe that she's below him and isn't good enough for other guys so the competition gets knocked down. But if I were to find a guy I thought was a better catch than me, I wouldn't treat him like shit and drive him away, I'd treat him well. So, I don't understand this way of thinking and really wonder if it's something people tell girls to make them feel better.

For what it's worth, I am not full of myself or conceited, nor do I think or act like I'm better than these guys. 

Voting Results
23% Normal
Based on 13 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    A number of people do this. It's because they have not mentally matured enough and developed good personal skills.

    Find someone who isn't like that... They do exist.

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  • leggs91200
    3 years ago

    There is no shortage of decent women who are dating dirt bags.

    I thing the guys who date out of their league are insecure and resentful because they know she can have any guy she wants but he has to work for something good.

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  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago

    It's a fool's game to start asking yourself what YOU did wrong when someone has cheated on you.

    You need to build up your self esteem. Stop worrying about what these loser cheating guys who say negative things about you think, and start expecting better from the guys you date. Once you do that you will find That decent guys gravitate towards you. As long as you treat them well and respect yourself you can't go too far wrong.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    3 years ago

    He's probably just a horndog and wants to fuck everything. He's probably an asshole too.

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    Yeah I had a bf who was a narcissist when I was around 18. He was obviously very insecure like all narcs are and he did this. Treated me like shit even though I loved him and he was only with me, as it turned out later, because it made all his guy friends jealous of him which upped his status. He cheated with a girl who was overweight and had a boyish looking face. She was way more in his leauge personality-wise though at least. I think they do this because it makes them feel more confident if they can treat someone who's too good for them like shit and that person still loves them.
    Insecure people tend to be assholes so it's not too shocking.

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  • Whatintarnation
    3 years ago

    It really depends on the guy and how many relationships they've been in. Most guys will fall over themselves trying to keep their girl happy and the center of their world in their first relationship or two. Then once you've had your heart ripped out and sliced up a few times you give up on that strategy. So you stop giving a shit. You start being hot and cold with them and damned if that doesnt usually work the best. The less interested you are the more they seem to like you. It's the dumbest thing but it works.

    As far as everyone telling you they believe he thinks he's not good enough for you, I doubt it. The simplest explanation is usually the right one. Cheaters are gonna cheat. Give that type of guy the opportunity to score and they'll nail whomever.

    Just my two cents from experience and seeing what my buddies have been through. It's all a shit show anyway. Good luck.

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    • Mammal-lover
      3 years ago

      Yea pretty much. Moral of the story most guys are dumb

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    3 years ago

    whenever a hot chick starts bein nice to me its 100% a scam

    and then they act all indignant when i tell em to fuck off

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    • leggs91200
      3 years ago

      They do tend to walk around with their noses in the air or give shitty sideways glances IF they acknowledge your existence when walking by.
      Of course when they want something or their job is selling stuff, then suddenly they are super polite. As you said - scam.

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  • --
    3 years ago

    Are you having a conversation with yourself?

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