Is it normal for guys to have strong feelings but not show them?

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When a guy has strong feelings or possibly love a girl, is it okay or normal for him to still have an ego and not want to look like he's begging for the girl to stay? I get people in general have an ego but for girls its a little easier to get go of it especially if they really love someone. For guys its a little harder to become vulnerable. I don't wanna think my bf doesn't have strong feelings for me especially when I do for him but he admitted that he's had an issue of not letting himself go for a girl cause he doesn't wanna look desperate of some sort or something even if he does care. I'm just scared that I'm probably not the girl for him and hell eventually meet another girl who will change him and hell want to become vulnerable for her. That would suck.

Or maybe he does really like me and that's just how he is along with most guys. But then I think of my ex and how he totally became vulnerable with me cause he did love me so there were times where he would cry his ass off to me however, he was a little depressed and lost and I think with me in his life, I was some type of guidance for him. My dude now is a little more confident and secure so I can't tell what's the real deal. He did mention he was the same way with his ex who he was with for quite a while like 4 1/2 yrs.

Sooo is it normal for a guy to have strong feelings for a girl but he still won't let go cause it's an ego/man thing? Or for every guy, when he really does like/love someone, he will let go? Right now I think he does really like me cause he hasn't told me to leave or anything and when were good were really good. But when we have problems, he's honest and he tells me he's not gonna like basically run after me cause he doesn't wanna look desperate. Idk how to feel about that.

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Based on 10 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Arm0se
    9 years ago

    I love my girlfriend with all my heart, I would do anything for her... but I have a really difficult time expressing it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Sooo has she ever doubted your feelings cause of your actions? what do you do or tell her if she has?

      And if she leaves, would you be willing to chase her or its just not n you to do that?

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      • Arm0se
        9 years ago

        I tell her when she really needs to hear it. If she's sad or something, or she says it to me I'll say it back. She's knows I have a hard time with it, we've discussed it and she doesn't doubt me anymore.

        If she leaves me would I be willing to chase her? That depends. If she's found another guy that makes her happier, I can't stand in the way of her happiness just because I want her back; that would be selfish.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          How long have you been together if I may ask?

          Yeah, guys tend to be less selfish when it comes to the other persons happiness. My guy has said that when I've asked if he cares to speak up bout things he doesn't like me doing and he said the same thing as you: if it makes me happy then he's not gonna tell me no and stand in the way. But, if your girl didn't find someone else, would you chase her then? If not, would you at all? Or again, its just a guy thing to not go chasing around. My guy said he wouldn't chase me cause he doesn't like that about girls trying to make the guy crave her for attention so he makes sure not to do it. That's not the reason why I would want him to chase me. It just concerns me that maybe I'm not worth it for him to give up his standards and he will meet a girl who hell drop his standards for. Or he does really love me but its not in him to chase and be vulnerable.

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          • Arm0se
            9 years ago

            I wouldn't chase her around and let her lead me on because that's not the girl I fell in love with; she doesn't play those kinds of games. We've been together 3/4ths a year? Maybe? It's hard to say, we didn't just jump into being a couple you know? It just sort of happened.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              I'm not the type to lead guys on either but I'm curious if a guy doesn't feel like chasing a girl, does that mean anything significant? If it doesn't mean he doesn't really love her then okay that's all I need to know.
              And I see, I feel like that's what's happening with me and him. Were not so official but slowly getting there, really slowly. But I always say to myself its better to build a strong foundation if I want a strong relationship with him. So its good to know how u feel for her and how u guys are considering the similarities: u guys took your time to be together and u wouldn't chase her as much as u do love her but I guess its just not in u.

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  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    If you guys have been together for awhile, he should be more open about his feelings for you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      He is being open and honest about how he is. Its not like he is lying to me saying things I would like to hear. I prefer him to be the way he is than a liar. So he is open and honest with me. The real question is does he have strong feelings for me or not if won't let go of his pride and ego?

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      • Fall_leaves
        9 years ago

        I never suggested he was a liar but most emotionally mature people when they're in a relationship don't have an issue with their "ego" preventing them from loving someone.

        Look don't make excuses for the way he is, the truth is you have no clue who he was before he met you. You have no idea how he handled himself in his previous relationship.

        And there's no way of knowing if he loves you, no one can give you that answer but he sounds like he has the emotional capacity of a child.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          I guess he has some growing up to do then, emotionally. He's those aloof types and he's admitted he has that issue of not showing emotions. He said "I dont like how girls want that attention for a guy to run after her." He believes he's being mature by being more rational than emotional. I mean I guess I can understand where he's coming from. So now he just needs to appreciate that I'm being patient with him and trying to help him losen up.

          So him having that emotional capacity of a child doesn't necessarily mean he's lacking feelings for me? Its just part of his personality basically?

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          • Fall_leaves
            9 years ago

            You're reading too far into things.

            You shouldn't be with someone if you're not even sure how they feel about you.

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