Is it normal for guys to be this clueless?

47% Normal

Now I've experienced dating a typical guy I guess meaning clueless, jerk, douche, can be careless, etc. I was like wow these guys really do exist. Then started asking around especially guy friends if guys are really that clueless and blind about things and they were like "yes we have to admit that we don't know what's going on in a girls mind more than 50% of the time. Were stupid." This guy I've been seeing I finally just told him all his flaws and what he lacks and I told him if we were going to be Gf and bf I would ask u to change them. He's like "well I'm not even aware of the things I do so idk how to change them." It makes sense but I just ask myself are guys really that clueless and just go w the flow? I know they're poor at analyzing things but seriousky are you really that clueless of ur being? Or is he bullsh*ting because he doesn't wanna change? I know you CNT change a person but I was saying in example if I were to ask him to change he said he doesn't kno how to cause he doesn't kno what he does wrong. So is it normal for guys to be this clueless ?

Voting Results

47% Normal

Based on 19 votes (9 yes)

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Comments ( 23 )

disthing

9 years ago | pl

"Now I've experienced dating a typical guy I guess meaning clueless, jerk, douche, can be careless, etc."

Wow way to be a typical girl, I guess I mean a total bitch!1!!!!111</3

I'm joking of course - I'd never negatively stereotype an entire gender (50% of the population) whilst seeking opinions from strangers - I don't think anybody would want to offer a constructive answer after that, would they?

P.S. sounds to me like he'd be dodging a bullet if he got out of there with all his 'flaws' intact.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Your hair looks all dry and flaky, you spit a little bit whenever you talk too fast, your palms are slightly sweaty, you smell slightly like a 2 day old bean and cheese burrito, and I do not appreciate your sassy little attitude...yeeaahhh..if you could change all of those things by tomorrow night, that would be great...

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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

Are you actually sure you have figured out ALL "his flaws and what he lacks"? No chance such a perfect person like you could have missed one or two?
Who the fuck do you think you are? God's gift to men? If you don't like somebody as they are, then what the fuck are you doing with them, at all? Are you just with this guy because you like his looks, but as a person he has ALL "his flaws and what he lacks", which you can't stand?
Boy, you are one shallow, manipulative bitch, IMO.

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LyeByMistake

9 years ago

Sexist bullshit, you're the idiot.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Well you don't sound like a bitch at all.

P.s, your persona here alone shows you aren't much of a catch and most men that heard this from you wouldn't give you the time of day.

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shuggy-chan

9 years ago

^does anyone know what these words mean. I'm clueless

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- disthing
  
  9 years ago
  
  Dude, this was part of the 50% of times when I don't know what's going on in a girl's mind, so I can't help you mobro. Something about feelings or shoes and make-up I guess. Girls are weird.
  
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- Haddaway
  
  9 years ago
  
  Hes talking about true love
  
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  - shuggy-chan
    
    9 years ago
    
    but... what is love =D
    
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    - Haddaway
      
      9 years ago
      
      nobody knows..... not even the haddaway
      
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CrimsonDeadly

9 years ago

Never try to change a man - you'll push him away.

Love is defined as loving someone DESPITE their flaws so in all honesty I think the person that has the problems in your relationship is you, because you clearly don't possess true feelings for him. Meanwhile, you aren't perfect either, and he from what I read hasn't told you about your flaws - meaning he's accepted you for who you are and not his idea of perfect.

Let's be real, men can be quite stubborn at times... But so can women... If you spent less time sending subtle hints and more time being straight forward maybe we'd understand you... 'Cause every man who's been involved with a woman know they love subtle hints.

Example:
*Something is obviously wrong with the girls mood*
Guy: Is everything alright babe?
Girls: Yeah everything's fine, don't worry.

Yet in most situations like this, nothing's fine and us men should be worrying... IF NOTHING'S FINE TELL US! We won't know until you do!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  If we tell you why we're not fine, then youll tell us you had no idea and can't fix it so no point. Thats why girls say we're fine because at the end of the day, guys are not capable of fixing the problem.
  And I am NOT pushing him away. In fact, I do accept him. Every single time he lets me down because of his bad habits, I love him that I keep making excuses for him such as "this is just how he is" but its come to the point is this really how he is or does he not care for me to change? I wanna see him with another girl and see if he still doesn't change. If not, then okay it was him not me. If he acts different, then it was me.
  
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  - CrimsonDeadly
    
    9 years ago
    
    Why do you assume that men can't help you when you have a problem? A problem shared is a problem halved and keeping it bottled up isn't going to benefit anybody.
    
    I don't know this guy, but I've been called cupid by multiple women and have given relationship to advice to a number of friends... And I know that if I felt my girl was going through a rough time I'd want to help make her feel better and comfort her anyway I could.
    
    If you truly accepted him for who he is then you wouldn't be telling him to change, because that isn't who he is. Don't send him to another girl 'cause then you can potentially lose him. Just be happy with what you've got, if it's meant to be, it will be.
    
    Some guys don't want to change, hell, they refuse to change... I know if a girl tried to change me I'd have her flying out my front door like I just gave her a Redbull.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      So you wouldn't change for a girl you really like and care for? Thats the thing here...I have accepted him but most advice I have been given is if he really cares for me then he'll make the effort to change. I'm not saying hey change your shoes I don't like them. These are serious issues where it has made an impact on our relationship such as lacking to communicate with me and express himself to me. Or for him to contact me rather than me always contacting him first. Or for him to include me in his activities. Like his best friend would take his girl out for some events with friends and he wouldn't get me involved. So what ? I feel like a side chick and I'm STILL accepting him. I know you'll probably say well thats my fault but hey I am doing what you're telling me to do "cupid." I wish you were right when you say accept him or you'll lose him but your reasons to are not convincing.
      
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      - CrimsonDeadly
        
        9 years ago
        
        Actually, now that you've given more detail I think I've come to start agreeing with you. I mean trying to make him change will still push him away because nobody likes changing... I've only done it once for one girl, which was bragging too much, which then lead to a drastic drop in confidence when she dumped me.
        
        Partners need to communicate in a relationship... If they aren't telling each other things then nobody will know if there are any problems or how to solve them. I've recently just come out of a relationship in which my gf refused to communicate about things as well simply due to the negativity (which couldn't have been helped by this point, it was inevitable).
        
        Contacting you first isn't of great importance but I can see how it would annoy you, considering something like that would probably annoy me as well. And I also agree with the activities part, it's actually something I say to my friend, he's going out with a girl but they only ever go to each others houses, and usually if I'm going to his house, she has to leave, or if she's coming, I have to leave... So I can understand that would be annoying as it gives the impression that he's embarrassed by you or like you said, are a side chick and he doesn't wanting the main chick finding out (but that's all speculation and I wouldn't act on that thought until you've found evidence)
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Well I actuly found out he's been messaging a girl out of the country who I think he had a thing with before he met me. I think she was a foreign exchange student which is why she was here. Apparently he took her to His family for an occassion and he has yet to do that with me. And they're still talking over FB.
        
        I didn't know how to feel about that because what if she finds out about me ? She's gonna feel worthless too like she's the side chick. So maybe I'm the main chick (which is still not OK but better than a side chick). But like I said he took her to his family so why hasn't he done that w me? I've spoken with them on the phone and supposedly his mom asks bout me. So me not seeing his family or being a part if any activity w friends or family makes me feel like a side chick compared to her. Is that evidence for me to act on it? I have already and asked him to admit it he's talking to someone and he won't give in he sounds so convincing but I knw the truth.
        
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hiya1

9 years ago

I will say that in a lot of areas guys and girls see things differently. I think a lot of times our underlying purposes are different so that may be why. Ultimately though you cant change someone, but also make sure the things you are turned off by are things that really matter in the big scheme of things.

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dirtybirdy

9 years ago

Alicia silverstone is clueless.

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davesumba

9 years ago

"if i was going to date you, you'd have to change all these things about yourself"

Seems like YOU are the only clueless one around here with that attitude about relationships.

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Sog

9 years ago

I voted not normal because you come across as extremely conceited, selfish, and inexperienced in relationships. You're supposed to be in a relationship because you like the guy as he is, not because you see him as an oversized ken doll with a functional dick that you get to mold into whatever you like.

If a girl I was dating told me about "all of my flaws and what I lack and what needs to change if we want to be BF and GF", I would tell her to go fuck a cucumber. In those words. You can quote me.

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- CrimsonDeadly
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'd tell her to go fuck herself with a rotating pineapple :P
  
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

I am clueless about what you're even talking about. You didn't even seem to mention what he is clueless about.

Maybe you just have a problem communicating your needs instead of assuming people will guess correctly.

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dom180

9 years ago

It's very common to lack self-awareness.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal for guys to be this clueless?