Is it normal for friends to be annoyed by my nerdy conversations with others?

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4 Comments

So, I am a normal guy, with normal friends. I just happen to have a lot of nerdy interests as well, like movies, anime, videogames, martial arts, world history, etc...

In my main group of friends, no one share these interests with me, which isn't really a problem in general. I would never try to push these things into my friends either.

However, whenever someone nerdy as me is around, I always get excited and end up talking with that person about some of the topics I listed before. We don't drag anyone into the conversation or monopolize time. Yet, my friends always start acting weird when this happens. They appear to be pissed off and disgusted. Afterwards, they would always remark how "annoying" that other person was or how the person was talking about "weird shit".

So, I just wanted to know, is this attitude normal? I really don't think having diverse interests is something bad... but well, maybe I am wrong...

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 19 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Holzman_67
    10 years ago

    Haha this happened to me in high school as well. It was in year 12, when all my friends started to get their licenses and cars. All they could talk about was cars. And although this was an exciting prospect at the time, my mind was bursting and expanding with all sorts of ideas about the world, culture and arts. I would leap at any opportunity to talk about anything other than cars, cos after all, cars are a material thing, they age and deteriorate.

    I saw my youth differently to most. I wanted to explore fresh ideas and flesh them out. I think you're doing the right thing and nurture these opportunities even if you create derision by doing so.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    I don't know how normal it is, but I can tell you I was in the exact opposite situation for a long time. I had a group of nerdy friends who I cared about a lot, but would talk almost exclusively about stuff that didn't strongly interest me. Video games, musicals, TV shows and movies with a supernatural element, heavy metal music... I can engage in conversation about these things to a varying level, but not all the time. I'm just not a person who likes stereotypically "nerdy" things. I was often left sitting in silence with nothing to add to the talk.

    It doesn't seem to me that it's normal your friends can't stand you talking about "nerdy" things every now and then with other people. Perhaps it's more the manner in which you talk. Stereotypically, nerdy people talk about their interests with a level of "obsessiveness" and a lack of self-awareness which can lead to some people finding them annoying even if they're not directly involved in the conversation. That said, your friends can't tell you what to do unless you let them. So don't let them :P

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      "Stereotypically, nerdy people talk about their interests with a level of "obsessiveness" and a lack of self-awareness which can lead to some people finding them annoying even if they're not directly involved in the conversation" --> That probably, haha.

      But I get your previous point. That's why I mentioned that I would never drag my friends into these conversations. Yet, I would add something else as well regarding your situation: I think that it is vital for any kind of human relationship to share interests. If you cannot share anything with your friends, you should get others that do.

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      • dom180
        10 years ago

        I don't necessarily think shared interests are as important as shared values are (hence why you are still friends with people who don't share your interests), but I take your point. And I do have a broader range of friends now, which I really like.

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