Is it normal for a stalker to really go this far?

50% Normal

What should I do?!

My local police not taking this seriously.
Even when I told her so many times I'm not interested, since I don't have time for dating anyone now anyway. Gotta just raise my little sister, study and work, broke up with my ex because I rarely had time for her and saved her the trouble.
But now she jealous of my little sister and keeps stalking me everywhere! Not just at uni anymore.
I can't take this anymore she's has humiliated me in public groping me sexually infront of my uni mates and in the middle of class, saying vile shit like she "wants to lick my ass" and etc! So I would hang out alone on break and try to avoid her.

But these holidays she's been leaving letters and notes all over my home! She knows where I live wtf?! Police still didn't take it seriously, just said it's just mail, as a joke.
But today is the last fucking straw! I was picking my little sister up from her basketball practist. But couldn't find her, I almost had an fucking heart attack, and started crying(and I haven't for years)! But I saw that bitch with her trying to convince the coach that she was my girlfriend and was picking my little sister up for me. Thank fuck he kept her there. I found out the reason he hadn't called me yet was because he couldn't find my sister as well, apparently she was trying to sneak off with her to who knows where, and he just caught her and then I showed up a minute or sooner later.

And now minor things are going missing in my house(spare keys, flowers, garden decor and some shoes & clothing) and my sister got a box of chocolates through the pet flap on the door, and ate some but felt a little sick after(she hid them from me and ate some) I took her to the hospital but she's fine they just said the chocolates might have gone off, but I don't think so...

I'm French Australian guy by the way and 18 turning 19 and my sis is 10 and our parents aren't home they travel and work, we live with gran but she can't do much at her age sadly, don't want to stress her too.
When I told my friends they just made a joke that it's just like Pepe the skunk from looney toons, and thought it was cute or funny.

What should I fucking do?! She's actually really scaring me and making life a living hell. Or am I overreacting? My little sister is my world, and I feel like she's trying to hurt her while stalking me...

P.s. Sorry about my grammar not perfect because of my background. I really need help I fear for my little sister the most.

Voting Results

50% Normal

Based on 6 votes (3 yes)

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Comments ( 39 )

[Old Memory]

5 years ago

Two choices) Talk to your school about it, talk to the police about again— dont stop bothering them until they do something.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  I've tried the school before or more like my lecturer. But I'll try again I'll look for higher authority in the uni. But I don't know if they have enough power to keep her away from my home...
  Been them more than twice, caused me more hurt than good but I'll keep trying with my local police. Maybe I should tell them that she's threating me as well, but it's not too obvious, hidden behind soft words in the letters and notes she leaves. Only evidence I have sadly.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    5 years ago
    
    Get a cctv camera
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      Good idea!
      I'll probably do that today actually since I got time.
      I'll update you guys on how it goes.
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        5 years ago
        
        Cool
        
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[Old Memory]

5 years ago

Be a bad boy friend. Example: When ya having sex, keep making it fall out and cum to quick, wateva to be a horrible root. Start being real sooky, whiney and patheic, girls hate that. Act real needy and follow her around everywhere, constantly accuse her of cheating and cry.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  That's too much trouble I don't even have time for a girlfriend anymore, and why would I want to sleep with her when she tried to poison my little sister (or me don't know who the chocolates were meant for).
  She's way over the "crazy chick".
  She made me cupcakes one-time and tried to make me eat one, after joking about putting her period blood in it.
  And she's admitted to killing a puppy when she was in highschool, but she wouldn't say whether it was an accident, kept commenting how cute I look when I'm shocked. Said my sister's so cute she could kidnap her and chop her up into little pieces. But brushed it off as a joke like the saying "so cute I could eat you up". And the endless sexual touching in public and alone, I'm just not into her.... And other fucked up shit she's said and done.
  So I'm staying as far away from her as a can.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    5 years ago
    
    Definitely looks like you need police intervention. Apply to the magistrate for a protection order/restraining order. That's what we do in Australia. Not sure about your neck of the woods but you would have something similar.
    
    Document everythin, keep records of everythin!!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      That's a damn good idea I'll try that, and see how it goes!
      Got cameras set up outside so hopefully that gets me more evidence.
      
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Anonymous Post Author

5 years ago

UPDATE:
Good news I caught some footage of her sneaking letters and notes around my front yard, so hopefully this is enough evidence.

Bad news is really got me, so got a random visitor today, I was assuming it was her trying to be more risky with her stalking so I didn't answer the door, but then the voice didn't sound like her. It was her mother!? She showed up to my front door with her daughter behind her. She lied about me being her boyfriend again but this time to her own mum. So I straight up and told her I'm not and that she's stalking me and I'm going to file a restraining order. I felt a little bad because I said it really harshly and then her mum looked like her heart ripped in half then she continued to tell me that she's has a bit mental disability stemming from a head injury years ago. And I believe her 100% because her daughter didn't care what the hell we were talking about only that she got to see interaction from me, even if it was indirect. And explains the weird way she acts as well, like her mannerisms, I just thought when I first met her she was just extremely quirky...

So I still want to get a restraining order but the mum told me that won't stop her. And she can't do anything to help either unless she homeschooled her for uni and locked her up. But she cares a whole lot for her, so that's never gonna happen.

So fuck I'll still file it, but I dunno is it different if the person has a disability? I just want to make sure I'm not gonna fight a battle I'll loose.

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- IrishPotato
  
  5 years ago
  
  Definitely file it. Get her arrested if she shows up anyway.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    5 years ago
    
    Yeah definitely, at least hopefully they'll accept the restraining order form, and then I can move on to getting on with my life again.
    
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McBean

5 years ago

FWIW, I was stalked by a female acquaintance who was a classmate of mine decades ago. Acquaintance type stalkers have a 50% chance of violence. This happened in a restaurant, and she was giving me an icy stare from across the room. I took the table knife at my place and held it with a stabbing grip, then slowly made slow stabbing motions into the table while I gazed at her with no emotion. She took the hint and left.

I later learned that this was a good first move. It establishes serious boundaries with consequences. It is a bad move later in the game because she can get pictures and sue you with false allegations. Fill your folder with all the evidence you can get. Avoid her as much as possible. Even hire a friend to be your protection agent if you cannot avoid her. Google up, how to discourage a stalker.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Crap too late for me then right?!
  Hm am I looking at the wrong stuff, I took your suggestion for how to discourage a stalker. And I mainly got the message to not interact with them at all. But if it's really early on then firmly and assertively reject them and tell them off.
  I have cussed her out when she groped me in public but she just found it cute. Probably because of my accent. I could only get away with shoving her a way or I'd look like I'm a abusing the her. So no wonder it's still going on... But I don't want to get arrested. This is difficult.
  
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McBean

5 years ago

He's the deal. Stalkers fall into 4 basic categories. Public, Private stranger, Acquaintance stalkers, and Intimate stalkers. The two worst are Acquaintance stalking with a 50% chance of violence, and Intimate stalkers with a 74% chance of violence. The first thing you need to do is lock your house up tight, so that breaking in is a major problem for her. That includes getting rid of the pet flap. Secondly, you need cctv security cameras in your house, and your cell phone camera at the ready. Thirdly, you need to google up "how to repel stalkers". Early action is critical. Many links quote state level law in the USA, but Australian law is probably very similar.

You can't expect any preventative action from police, or social workers until you have good evidence for reasonable suspicion. (Videos, notes, etc.). Do talk to all adults that your sister interacts with immediately. She is a prime target.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  This is really damn helpful thanks alot!
  I can do that and got a camera system set up now.
  Yeah I scared my self even more reading old news of a victim getting her throat slit by their stalker and the stalker had a accomplice...Now I'm leaving the house less, unless I got work and when uni starts gonna be a problem. I don't know why I read it just wanted to see if I was really overacting I guess after arguing with my dad about it.
  
  The notes left around my house didn't pass as evidence with the police. But hopefully footage of her trespassing will.
  Yeah I should tell all her teachers, already warned her coach to call me straight away next time, even if he can't find her.
  
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paramore93

5 years ago

Keep going back to the police until they get their shit together. If it's scaring you and your family, it's gone too far and they can't let it continue. Harassment isn't a joke. If you know her parents, could talking to them help? She's clearly messed in the head.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Hm maybe I could tell her mum, she comes to pick her up by car. But I'm not sure, maybe.
  I've set up cameras and hopefully I'll get some solid evidence.
  
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IrishPotato

5 years ago

Get a camera. Collect evidence. Go to the police again.

If all else fails, just beat the living shit out of her.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Gonna try that today and update you guys on how it goes.
  I can't risk that when I got my little sister to take care of.
  
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  - IrishPotato
    
    5 years ago
    
    Good luck to you.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      Thanks.
      
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      - IrishPotato
        
        5 years ago
        
        So how did it go?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        5 years ago
        
        I posted an update down below guess it didn't notify anyone.
        Currently processing a restraining order. So hopefully it doesn't get rejected(for reasons I posted below in this thread).
        
        Thanks for the help by the way.
        
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Lestat565

5 years ago

Talk to the school about it and your parents and keep talking to the police try getting a restraining order against her and tell the police that you feel that this woman is a danger to you and your family. Don’t stop bothering them about it. I’d also talk to the local news if the police ignore you again. Don’t stop until someone listens to you. It sounds like this stalker is getting bolder and that could get really ugly.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  I talked to my lecturer before in the beginning(forgot to mention that sorry). But guess i'll try with stronger authority in my uni.
  My parents don't think they'll help me much, they don't care for us as much as a parent should. As you can see left me with my sister to take care of and grandma can't even walk and memory loss... They travel for months not weeks.
  
  And police make it a huge joke and hurts me, but I won't give up, I'm worried what she'll do next.
  One of the notes she left the other day in the garden said something like: "I'll spread your evil dark secrets that you didn't even know you even had babe".
  I don't know what hell she's talking about. But I maybe its probably lies she's talking about, which would fuck up everything I got going!
  
  Also taking it to the news? Do I call them up or need a lawyer for proof and such, so they believe it's not fake news? But I'll keep trying with police for now.
  
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  - Lestat565
    
    5 years ago
    
    http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims
    
    This site might help too
    
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  - Lestat565
    
    5 years ago
    
    Are you in the United States? Yes keep trying with the police and show them the notes as proof and for records. Don’t let them keep the notes unless they do something because then you lose your proof. This person is dangerous and they shouldn’t be making it a joke. I would get a lawyer if you can afford one. I’d call the news and the local newspaper and ask to talk to a reporter. I’d tell them all that’s going on and that the police are doing nothing about it. Them treating it like it’s a joke pisses me off because doing that gets people hurt or worse. I would still tell your parents about what’s going on even if they do nothing.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      I'm in Australia.
      I'll try again with the notes, they called it mail before since some came in envelopes. And didn't think it was that threating. Like no violence or suicidal stuff in it.
      One said it's just a girl writing love letters and other stuff. But I'll show them the new note I found.
      
      I can't afford a lawyer. Okay I'll talk to my parents. And if all else fails I'll try the news.
      Thanks for the link, still helpful even if I'm in Australia.
      
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      - Lestat565
        
        5 years ago
        
        Also when you talk to your parents about this. Make them believe this is serious. If you have to cuss or be an asshole about it do it. They need to know that this is not a joke and this is serious fight them if you have to get the point across.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        5 years ago
        
        I could only get my dad on the phone and he thought I was being a drama queen. He said he doesn't have time to deal with my shit and he's dealing with his friend who's going through a divorce and also the same friend ended up sick in hospital this week/month for some reason. I not sure after that he cussed me out harder in French after I cussed a little saying he doesn't give a shit about his daughter or me, and then hung up on him...
        Don't think my mum would give a shit too. But I didn't tell him about the sexual stuff in detail only told my dad that she's been trying to kiss me, he just told me to get over it and push her off, the convosation was really messy. I was too embarrassed to tell him about what she's actually been doing to me sexual, only talked about stalking mainly, my fault...
        
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      - Lestat565
        
        5 years ago
        
        https://www.humanrights.gov.au/education/students/get-help
        
        I don’t know if this will help I didn’t see a stalker section but it’s but it’s worth trying if the other link doesn’t help.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        5 years ago
        
        Thanks I'll have a look.
        
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      - Lestat565
        
        5 years ago
        
        https://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/women/programs-services/reducing-violence/help-and-support
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        5 years ago
        
        This is under the women section. If I called then would they help a guy too?
        
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      - Lestat565
        
        5 years ago
        
        I’ll try to find something for Australia. I didn’t know where you were from so I just looked for stuff from where I live in America. Smh the police really piss me off in this situation. It’s not love letters it’s unwanted harassment. Keep trying with the police and tell the news that you have tried and are still trying and they refuse to take you seriously. It will make the police look like jackasses like they should. I’ve studied this stuff since I was 14 years old so it pisses me off that they are just ignoring you cause I know what that could lead to.
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal for a stalker to really go this far?