Is it normal for a shy girl to not like shy men

59% Normal
21 Comments

I know, men get angry over this hypocrisy that shy girls are great but shy men are creepy. I might be old-fashioned but I think there are just certain traits that are better on men, and others better on women. For example men who have a lot of sex are "cool" while girls who do are "sluts".
and men should be the stronger one in the relationship, so they must not be afraid of something simple as talking, and girls only need to talk when they have something important to say (something like that.. no offense feminists).
Anyway, back to the topic. I think opposites really do attract. I am extremely shy- I have social phobia bordering on Avoidant personality disorder. I have always loved people who are outspoken. Many of the guys I've had a crush on have symptoms like AD(H)D, they are very smart but do not hesitate to speak their mind, which is usually quite amusing to me if nothing else.
I also dislike "nice" guys, now before you think i am just a stereotypical women, i dislike "bad" guys as well. What I mean by nice is "too nice", as in it feels like they are walking on eggshells around me for fear of offending or upsetting me. i am not that delicate. it's fine to make offensive jokes and all that with me, sarcasm etc. get angry at certain things, show your true opinions. When it comes to nice guys I'm more worried about offending them, so I have to be fake to mirror their personality, because in reality I am quite "rough". Though I don't seem it at all. I know most of them probably do not care, they start out easy and if a girl they like gets rough they just copy her. but then that either seems fake or desperate to me.

is it normal for a nice shy girl to dislike too nice guys and shy guys for these reasons? I know it's common for women, but I dont see why men are annoyed by this.

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 22 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I've never understood people who aren't attracted to people who are similar to themselves. "Opposites attract" doesn't make sense to me.
    I actually have a lot of the traits you say you like and personally my problem I've had with shy and avoidant girls is they don't seem to want to do anything fun and back out of everything which only irritates me.
    You say you are nice but at the same time you sound judgmental of people who are like you which doesn't seem logical to me.

    A lot of girls say they want a guy who speaks their mind but in my experience they often do not like what they have to say. I constantly say what I'm thinking and it seems to drive women away at some times. I've been learning what topics do this such as bragging about my speakers and ranting about what pisses me off.

    Most the time, impulsive outgoing guys get quickly bored with girls who aren't the same way.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Similar in interests, of corse, but not temperament, maybe because I hate being shy. And if we're both shy then nothing's going to happen, we'll just sit around in silence.

      Not all "shy" girls are the same. I guess, what I actually mean is "quiet", social phobic... When I have the opportunity to speak my mind, I am not shy at all. I just don't like talking much, I express myself other ways.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        I used to be a really nice guy, not because I was afraid of what people think and not because I was manipulative, but because I genuinely wanted to share positivity and believed people should do things for each other.

        Favors were rarely returned though and people took advantage of my kindness. I felt like nobody actually respected me.

        Gradually I became angrier towards people and very selfish, caring mostly about my own needs. Now people have said I am too mean and insensitive. I really don't care much about anyone's feelings anymore. Why should I? I never have understood people. I feel like there is no going back.

        Don't do this to people.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Same.

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  • kelili
    10 years ago

    Opposite attracts doesn't make much sense to me. I have always been attracted to people who have similar views and tastes as I. I think it can be different for other people. I also believe that there are no written rules for a couple to work. Shy men are indeed creepy, in my opinion.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Similar views and tastes, yes; Same personality, no

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    If some men are annoyed by your personal preferences they are extremely stupid and probably hypocrites. I don't think it's hypocritical to not like people sinilar to yourself - personality traits are something we cannot control. Any personal preference is normal and should be respected.

    As a fairly quiet guy, I often find talking to fairly quiet girls difficult just because there needs to be someone there to get the conversation going. Not always though, and not for any deeper reason like you have.

    I think it's fundamentally sexist to believe that men should have some personality traits and women should have others. It's fine to be attracted to those things, but to associate personality traits that strongly with specific sexes leads to sexism.

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  • thesugarbitch
    10 years ago

    It's just personal preference. I've dated a few "shy" guys before. It's cute until they get really whipped. Then it just becomes annoying; no challenge.

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    • shuggy-chan
      10 years ago

      maybe the guy is a "nice guy" cause he is harboring a deep dark side that he would like to not let out. would this make him "cool and mysterious"?

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      • thesugarbitch
        10 years ago

        I was talking about "shy" guys not "nice" guys. There's a big difference between the two.

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        • Anime7
          10 years ago

          There is somewhat of a correlation between the two. I mean yeah there are differences, but from my observation, a shy guy is usually nice. But a nice guy is not always shy.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            10 years ago

            See, that is one thing where I have a problem. I am shy but not necessarily "nice" although people seem to think the two are the same, so they come up to me for one thing (being shy) and are scared off by the other (my "not nice" true opinions). it gets pretty annoying, this apparent disconnect between my outward appearance and true inside.

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            • Anime7
              10 years ago

              I'm not disagreeing with you on what you said. People do perceive shy to be nice and being taciturn doesn't always mean the person is good. I said it's just that shy people tend to be nice, but not all nice people tend to be shy. Yes shy people can be mean, in my experience people like that usually tend to be loners, rather than social phobic. They aren't scared of talking to people, they just prefer to be alone.

              Also have you tried to just match your inward personality with you outward appearance. Perhaps you could try going goth? Goths usually, and I use that word lightly, wear what they feel. If going goth is too expensive then just try looking angry, you already seem like you're annoyed with people.

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            • thesugarbitch
              10 years ago

              I agree. Shy doesn't necessarily translates as nice.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        Actually, that is how I am. It's not cool, it's very phony..

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        • shuggy-chan
          10 years ago

          That's not very special, plenty of people have a darker side. Humans all carry an "inner darkness" myself included. And my happy, friendly isn't a facade. Its my way of not allowing that..."black depression" to take and control of me again.

          So my advice is be who u are, if that's part of u, acknowledge it and more on. Replace it with more desirable traits, like me, if i don't like it. And I find it best not to categories people and stereotype them, people are often more complex then they show at first and second glace, judge people on individual level

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  • DaMan
    9 years ago

    Shy girls are annoying and stiff, most of them are quite sensitive. It may not occur to you but alot of us "confident" guys dont really like shy girls. Girls who are shy tend to be abit more "frigid" and less sexual. So anything u say might hurt her feelings looool. However, most girls like confident outspoken ppl so ur not unique. and like bruh bruh said above dont try to label people - we are human - we are variables. I mean you wouldnt like me labelling you as a "lame" "chode" or a "stiff" "frigid" type.......thats why guys r gettn offended. cuz ur tryna tell em what they are..and how they should be :)

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    • januarycurse
      8 years ago

      dont be a psycho plz

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  • Mersaphe
    10 years ago

    Yes it is normal. You are over thinking this. Just hang out with anyone you enjoy. Try not to label people, male or female, we are more complicated than just "shy" or "outgoing".

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    • painisweakness
      10 years ago

      ^exactly what I want to tell people but never know which words to say :')

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 years ago

    I just realized... I dislike shy people in general, but people would call me shy, because I hate talking. So all my life i get clumped in with "shy" people, as in those who don't like to think outside of the box, the overly nice people who are afraid of being different, which is not me at all. That is just how everyone interprets my social phobia.

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