Is it normal for a man to postpone marriage proposal as long as possible?

34% Normal
16 Comments

I don't have ANY friends or family who have waited as long as me to be proposed to. Going on 12 years and two kids! Is this even normal for a man to refuse to marry his partner? We live like a married couple, even referred to as husband and wife AND his mom even considers me his wife when introducing me to others. AND at times he calls me his wife when asked if he's married or when speaking to his buddies.

He told me to be patient...AND yet teases me that he's not ready until we're 40. That's another 11 years!!! Our kids are graduated and on their own, so why?

I find it hard to leave him JUST bc I want to get married...our kids don't need a broken home, JUST bc I want proof on paper. But I do think it's unfair and feel SO REJECTED!

I keep assuming it's bc he wants to really be with someone else (like his "ex", which he was with in the MIDDLE of our relationship for 3 years, when we weren't together BUT still "seeing eachother"). He doesn't want to talk about it and so I continue to wonder, is it bc of HER or do I really need to stop already?!

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 47 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    why you need the paper?

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  • genro
    13 years ago

    I feel bad for you. I can empathize with the frustration u must feel. Most women have that GUT feeling if their partner is cheating on them and the fact he doesn't want to talk about it when he cheated on YOU has got to be even more fruserating. I would suggest seeing a counsilor by yourself to help determine if u can/want to stay in a relationship where he is dragging his feet to marry you. Whatever you do don't give him an ultimatium. Good luck

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  • kinkygirl00
    11 years ago

    Let me just say I know EXACTLY how you feel !! I've been with the same man for almost 11 years and we have two kids. We share bank accounts, everything, but we are not married. And although we have talked about it a few times over the years, anytime I bring it up in the past year or two, he changes the subject. Then he wonders why I get mad or frustrated ! I have googled this subject sooo much just to see what other women say or do in this kind of situation, and have seen many conflicting opinions.
    Some women say why do you need the piece of paper, if you love the person, you're going to be with them anyway so what's the difference?
    And then some say it's only and decent that he should put the ring on and make you his WIFE not just girlfriend or kids mother!

    I don't know what to tell you to do here, but I honestly think often about getting out and finding someone who WANTS to marry me. It's that one last step that we women need, that these men won't give to us. And it's not fair that we are giving them our all, we deserve what we want to be happy too.
    But logically, I know marriage doesn't fix things or change them, so you just gotta decide if the relationship is worth staying in and if you would stay there for another 12 years without a marriage or a ring. That's what I'm dealing with. Sorry for the super long answer lol

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  • bannnamuffin
    12 years ago

    intersting and weird

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    How is it possible to be 29 and have kids that are graduated and on their own...?

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    • bannnamuffin
      12 years ago

      she said 40

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      I'm sorry, I meant to say by the time we're 40, the kids are gonna be already graduated and out the house.

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  • boogersforfree
    13 years ago

    Why buy the cow...

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  • aagirl
    13 years ago

    Weird!!!

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  • sanchezjeliz
    13 years ago

    What's he afraid of?

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    • bannnamuffin
      12 years ago

      getting married!!!!

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  • BlueAlice
    11 years ago

    Marriage causes more problems than it helps. I would suggest leaving if marriage and being shackled to monogamy are that important.

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  • DeadByDesign
    12 years ago

    He is fucking as many girls as possible before he sells his soul to you

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    • bannnamuffin
      12 years ago

      that is rude!

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  • grumpybarbie
    13 years ago

    Tell him it's important, see if he's agreeable to getting married quietly with no one knowing. There doesn't seem to be a logical reason for his delay. Call him on it, trust your gut

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    leave the dick
    he obviously doesnt love u enuf to make a commitment.

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