Is it normal for a man to be interested in a woman but never initiate contact?

54% Normal
7 Comments

I am 23 and the man to whom I'm referring is 48.

We have met in person once and will hopefully again soon.

In the meantime, we have been texting.

I wait at least 4 days and get literally nothing from him until I finally cave and text him. Then, he will always respond but is *never* the first to text me.

This bothers me but I don't know how to talk to him about it without looking needy, paranoid, et cetera [I have Asperger's, so dating is hard for me].

I'm starting to think that he's just not interested, but only replying to keep me around "just in case," or perhaps to be polite.

He did tell me on our first date that he "doesn't have a lot of free time."

However, he's in New Mexico now, one reason being that it's his birthday today. He's also gone to concerts, and took his Canadian cousin out for a night on the town, so he clearly has free time...

I try to remind myself that he's much older than me, so he's hopefully mature enough to know what he wants, meaning that he'll respond only if he is interested, and not play stupid games.

I am so anxious over this that it's eating me alive.

I would hope that, at his age, it's something else, like him being apprehensive because I'm 24 years his junior, even though HE was the one who e-mailed me first.

I wonder if he's just nervous or shy, afraid of bothering me, like I am him. He claims that he's saved all of the texts I've sent him.

I wonder if he's just not tech savvy but I doubt it.

What do you think?

For the adult men: Have you ever been really interested in a girl but never initiated contact first? Why?

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 28 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • davidnine
    12 years ago

    Age has nothing to do with it.There could be several reasons to explain lack of contact.He sounds very busy,and active,if he is being truthful with you ?

    Sounds like there has been too little contact to really try to evaluate,and understand your situation.

    Personally,I don't approach a lot of women,as that is just my nature,and I've been accused of showing a lack of interest a few times.

    However,once this was pointed out to me,I make an effort now to be more assertive,but not pushy.

    Bottom line . Tell this guy how you feel about the situation. Then the ball is in his court. If he doesn't respond,it's time to move on,and move forward .

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  • Tehboss
    12 years ago

    that dude is a pimp if he can make you pester him with just one date :D
    (sorry had to be done) but he either is playing you or he isn't interested enough to make an effort i would tell you to cut your losses and move on

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  • ygrowup
    12 years ago

    The age difference is making a stumbling block for communication, remove this barrier and tell him your true feelings to get beyond this. Good luck with your choices

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  • sweets!!!
    12 years ago

    If you already feel neglected by this man and you only met him once, hmmmmm, I say move on its not worth the aggravation. Life is to precious to wait for someone who doesn't appreciate you to the fullest.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    You've only met him once.
    He sends you text messages but ONLY in reply.
    And he doesn't have a lot of free time.

    How exactly has he shown interest in you? Because I'm not seeing it.

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  • Anime7
    12 years ago

    This is difficult to give advise to. There isn't much to go on about the man you're seeing. How well do you know him? How often do you see each other? I would suggesting asking him what you've asked us. Tell him your concerns about your relationship and explain how you're feeling.

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    • hemper
      12 years ago

      this, as always communication is key although knowing what to communicate is often the problem. I can see your age difference to be a problem because people at different age perceive things quite differently

      good luck

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