Is it normal for a husband to hurl put downs at you?

My husband yells and cusses at me when he gets upset, and calls me names like crazy and lunatic. We are both from poor ignorant families but he seems to still behaves like his kindred when he gets upset. My male friends are agast when I talk about how he behaves when he's angry. Do most men secretly hurl insults and cuss at their wives? Also, is this behavior mostly relegated to lower classes of men; is there a difference in how one talks to his wife between urban men vs rural men, vs suburban men? I think it is our upbringing in high crime areas with uneducated parents incable of expressing emotion in intellegent ways that has given way to our own difficulty with communication as adults; though I've mostly changed for the better, he has not regarding how he handles his anger.

Voting Results
32% Normal
Based on 19 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • wistfulmaiden

    Mine used to do this and I eventually decided not to put up with that shot anymore. You should try counseling and if he won't change, I'd get rid of him.

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  • kittycatrelle

    Dont settle for verbal abuse.

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  • victorygin

    No, most men do not secretly behave this way. And whilst the poor and uneducated don't have a monopoly on this behaviour, I would be surprised if there was no correlation there whatsoever.
    But that's neither here nor there, really. Learning this behaviour from a poor, ignorant upbringing doesn't make it any more acceptable.
    It's good that you feel you've changed for the better. I don't know how or even if, he can change as well. But a starting point would be talking about it with him.

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  • Dad

    I had an excellent well paid career for 20 years which allowed me to purchase (actually design and build) my own house near the beach! I felt this life of luxury was normal, and never understood the lower class. Why would they even decide to live like this, just get a job!

    My life took a dive, big time. Within a matter of a year was relying on government support, a few years after that my entire belongings would add up to nothing (in my view).
    Through economic hardship I was forced into areas known for being labelled as the bronx. You wouldn't fathom the eye opener it has been like.

    I suppose the point is, "urban men vs rural men, vs suburban men" I have been all 3, including middle to upper, and then low class :(

    The reason why some men are abusive is not because of their status. I'd suspect many homeless are very respected well mannered individuals.
    The reason is because they are either:
    Not educated
    Stupid
    Or because their culture allows abuse to women!

    Educate your man. if he is stupid then order him to follow direction, if it is inbred from his culture, I'd personally say leave.

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    • Steve2.0

      "Their culture allows abuse to women!" *Cough* Islam...*Cough*

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    • heckleBucker

      Sorry that you're low class trash. Why not eat rice and get around on a bicycle until you become rich again?

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  • Short4Words

    Class has little to do with it.

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    • Big_Jew_Noses

      No, it actually has ALOT to do with it. If we are speaking of actual "low class" people. Not economic class.

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      • Short4Words

        She isn't and that's what I'm referring to, which is obvious.

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  • Stand2260by

    Go to YouTube and try to find this guy

    Infinite water (diving deep)

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