Is it normal for a guy to mess with someones feelings this much?

Sorry if this is too long.

Note that my friend and her ex broke up about two-three months ago. Anyways, he has always been nice to me. He's told me that he care's "alot" about me and that I was always there for him when his girlfriend wasn't. Even when they were dating. She hated that he was depressed and had suicidal thoughts, but only because she didn't want to deal with it and thought he was just asking for attention/being a baby. I don't know about anyone else, but I think that's kind of crappy... At the time she should have been there for him the most she pushed away and basically became a bitch towards him. He got tired of it, and they ended up breaking up because every day she was pissed about something and he got hell for it. God forbid he has feelings, right?

He used to ask me why I was so good to him. He told me no one else seemed to care about him, except for me. He told me how thankful he was that I was there for him, or else he probably would have ended himself a long time ago. He told me once that he loved me because "I was there for him and it really meant a lot". I was one of his best friends. We used to go see each other and hang out. It progressed to cuddles, and boy I'm weak when it comes to cuddles... Once, we kind of took things a little further, but not too much because I stopped anything from happening. I didn't want to go too far because for one, this is my friends ex, and two, we weren't in a relationship. I tried being there for him as a friend despite any other feelings I might have, and he seemed to always want to take it further. But only sexually, even though he told me he cared about me a lot. I started to get the feeling that he only wanted to be FWB.

A few weeks after the break up, we were still pretty close. I still felt like I could talk to him about anything. It sounds weird, but I feel happier around him. I can't really explain, but it's not important. Point is the "being close" stuff doesn't last for long, because now I feel so distant from him. I don't know what happened, but sometime a week or two ago he just started to avoid me. It was completely at random. We don't have long text message conversations, or talk and laugh when we see each other. I've tried to start up conversations, but it just feels awkward and forced from my side. At this point, I've stopped trying because I don't know what I did, therefore I don't know how to fix it.

I feel like crap for liking him because it goes against the whole "friend" code bs, and also because I don't understand what he really feels about me. I thought I had a good idea at one point, but now I don't see it. It's always been off and on. I kind of feel used and led on in a way, only because he acts different when it's just us. He only used to give me short hugs around people, but when we got done hanging out (just the two of us) and hugged each other bye, neither of us seemed to want to let go. And he told me that he might kiss me... But that never happened, obviously.

He is one of the most infuriating, confusing, addicting guys I have ever met. I really don't feel like I have the right to feel this way since my friend had him first, even if she did treat him poorly. I just can't seem to help it... I don't mind not being in an actual relationship with him, I just wish we were still close as friends at least.

I need to stop being blinded by my feelings and get over him, but every time I see him I'm back at square one. He's the only one who seems to make me happy, and at one point I made him happy too.

I also need to stop being such a sap.

Sorry about the bigass, sappy, pity party I just threw for myself, but I don't know what to do. Should I try to get over him? Try harder to get our friendship back? Any other suggestions? I'm up for anything at this point.