Is it normal for a guy in a different group of lower popularity to ask out a...

22 Comments

Ok so I submitted this post a day or two ago but people said it was too long so I'll keep it brief.

The girl I like is much more popular than me. On a popularity scale of 1-100, she's like an 80-85, where I'm like a 60-65. I'd say we're about the same level of attractiveness. Also I really don't talk to any of her friends and she doesn't really talk to any of my friends; not to mention her friends are probably a little more popular than her, while my very best friends are less popular than me and actually drag me down a bit.

At least at my school, people almost only date within their group, so I would making a reach there, plus another reach since her group is far more popular than mine. IS IT NORMAL for a guy in a different group of lower popularity to ask a girl like this out?

I know you guys are all going to say "go for it who cares about status" but come on. We all know it's more complicated than that. I could possibly be really made fun of for a while if I ask her and get rejected. Do you think that will happen? If you don't, any suggestions on asking her out/getting her number? Thanks guys

Ask her out it's uncommon but not weird (please read post) 40
Don't ask her out you'll be laughed at (please read post) 12
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Comments ( 22 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago

    "I know you guys are all going to say "go for it who cares about status" but come on. We all know it's more complicated than that. I could possibly be really made fun of for a while if I ask her and get rejected."

    Yes, I absolutely will say "go for it, who cares about status". It's *not* more complicated than that! :) Popularity isn't important in the real world - it's only important if you decide to let it effect you. In terms of being mocked if she rejects you: that's not about popularity, it's about whether she's a good person who won't tell everyone about it or not. Even if you do get mocked it won't last long unless you let it get to you.

    Just ask her in a private way. If she rejects you ask her not to tell anyone about you asking her. Rejection hurts but you'll probably regret not going for it.

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    • Devyn
      10 years ago

      You say that popularity isn't important in the real world. However this situation does not entail the real world or at least not as we tend to understand it. It entails a high school environment (as far as I can infer) which has a completely different set of society norm and customs.

      However I do agree with your advice.

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  • Holzman67
    10 years ago

    I wasn't very popular in school but it never bothered me. I asked a very popular girl to the school ball, and she agreed to come with me. People were really shocked, so much was made of it. But we were friends.
    Once we got to the ball she completely avoided me, went to sit with the popular group and wouldn't dance with me.

    So in short, I'm not sure. It depends on the personality of the girl and how shallow she is I think.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    Don't. She'll laugh.

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    Since we are talking about a school environment and people are complete jerks in those places ...yeah, you might get ridiculed and pushed in the dirt, BUT that's worst case scenario.

    If you take the chance you might get something incredible out of it!

    Just now read that the status is a couple of months old, my fail.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    Just ask her out, it seems like you have the confidence to do so. Who cares about "popularity" anyway?..

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  • myownopinions
    10 years ago

    I wouldn't think that this was uncommon. Actually, I would think it more common than not that the popular kid would gets asked out a lot.

    If you're really interested in her, I'd say that you should just go for it (though you should probably try to ask her privately). Yes, there is a chance that you might end up being ridiculed in the end, but, usually, people just fear this happening when, in actuality, the worse thing that would happen is the sting of rejection and nothing else.

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  • macaroniheyo
    10 years ago

    You seriously care that much about popularity? Just ask her out already! If you like her and she likes you, what other people think shouldn't matter.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    Nope don't do it if you want to avoid being ridiculed.

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    • generic_high_schooler
      10 years ago

      I actually appreciate you saying that and being honest. If any of you agree please explain

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  • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
    10 years ago

    Hey man, I know exactly what you're going through here, but I'm gonna need some more information so you should reply to my comment.

    Does she like you back? And do you have any classes with her? How close are the two of you, friendship wise?

    Signed,
    Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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    • generic_high_schooler
      10 years ago

      She at least likes me as a person. We have 2 classes together and we talk several times a day on school days. I'm pretty sure she has my number but I don't have hers. We've never hung out together, not even in a group.

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      • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
        10 years ago

        So yeah, I really want to help you out here, man. Please reply to me at your earliest convenience.

        Signed,
        Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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        • generic_high_schooler
          10 years ago

          Okay um, I'm replying. I'm not sure what you mean since I've been replying. Are you bullsh*ting me lol? If you have any advice please fire away.

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          • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
            10 years ago

            Okay then. Let's be frank here. School's ending soon and I know you don't have the guts to look past social status and you probably won't ask her out. But you should. I was like you once. I was too afraid to say anything, even to the girl that I liked. I knew she liked me too, but I blew it. I messed up big time and I don't want that to happen to anyone else.

            Here's your gameplan, tiger.
            You should go to school tomorrow with some flowers, go up to her, and ask her out. Don't even bother to do it privately. If you do that, it shows weakness. Women don't like weakness. Do it in front of her friends. You should also say something cute that gets her friends to say, "Aww!" The way to any woman's heart is through her friends. She'll have no choice but to say yes. You guys will go on a date together and that's when you'll have a chance to reel her in for real. Be funny and be a gentleman. Take her out somewhere where the both of you can talk and do something fun with each other. Bowling or mini-golf are good examples of that. Don't take her out to a movie. You can't charm her while the both of you are watching a movie. Besides, that shit's expensive as hell.

            I know this all sounds like a lot. It is. Who ever said getting a woman was easy?

            TL;DR - Be confident, be yourself, be funny, and be a gentleman.

            I really hope you follow my advice because I don't want another young man such as yourself making the same mistakes I did. Good luck, tiger. Go out and get her.

            Signed,
            Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

            P.S. My last paragraph was really sappy. To make up for it, I've decided to say this:
            You better grow a fucking pair of balls and ask her the fuck out alright? Right now, you have no balls. Grow some right the fuck now and go ask that bitch out. If you don't, I'll be ashamed of you and all my efforts would be for naught.

            P.S.S. If (emphasis on the "if") you do ask her out and she says yes, please tell me how your date goes.

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            • generic_high_schooler
              10 years ago

              I'm not doing it tommorow, in public, or with flowers lol, but I'll certainly consider asking her. Thing is I still really don't know if she likes me. In fact my guess would be she doesnt "like me" the way I like her, but I don't really give a fuck about that I just want her to say yes if I ask her out. I appreciate the advice. If I do end up asking her I'll reply to this and let you know. Thanks guy

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      • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
        10 years ago

        Does she like talking to you? And has she done anything to show that she's interested in you? Do you see her outside of school? Also, how long do you have until school ends?

        Signed,
        Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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        • generic_high_schooler
          10 years ago

          She likes talking to me enough to initiate conversation a decent amount (although I initiate it more), and she certainly keeps conversations going when I start them.

          In terms of any specific instances where I thought she might like me: the day of prom (a formal end of year dance in America) she asked if I was going, which I wasn't. Idk about someone as outgoing as her, but I'd only ask that if I intended to say "save me a dance" or something to that effect. Also when I first got a twitter she immediately sent me a flirty tweet and favorited my response. Again something I'd only do if I were interested in a girl, but idk about her since she talks to guys on twitter all the time. She also sometimes refers to me by a nickname of mine that very few girls call me and that generally only my closer friends use. Also one day she walked into class with a friend of hers that I actually am friendly with (I don't have this friends number btw but she has mine) and they were discussing the girl I like's list of boyfriends she would want, which she could have brought up in that moment to make me jealous, although that's not certain. At one point in this conversation there was definitely some non-verbal communication and I know for a fact that the girl I like's friend looked at me. So they could have been implying I was on the list but that's not certain. Finally the girl I like's best friend (different friend than the one i already mentioned) occasionaly will gently tease her when we talk in class, and I swear one time after we were done talking i heard her friend say "boyfrieeend", so in general I've sensed very light teasing of the girl I like by her friends when I'm around.

          I absolutely never see her outside of school, EVER. We travel in different social circles, we've never hung out, and again I think she has my number but I don't have her's. The only time I might see her outside of school is on the last day of school when my whole grade goes to the same beach. Last day of school is June 26th. Thanks your majesty.

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          • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
            10 years ago

            Oh, you thought I was British? I thought YOU were British the whole time!

            She's interested in you man. I know that for sure. But she's interested in other guys too. You better be the first one to ask her out or other guys will pick her up.

            Signed,
            Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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  • midnightsears
    10 years ago

    It will go fine a guy from a lower group asked me out and we together for 4 and a hafe years ( I love him!!)

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