Iin: can't get hard for sex because of performance anxiety

I welcome a few trolls, but hopefully most of you seriously respond.

I'm in my mid 20's and this has happened to me on multiple occasions. It's honestly to the point where I'm considering seeing a therapist about it because I feel like it ruins otherwise perfect potential relationships and makes me kind of depressed, I'm not going to lie.

Last night I met up with this beautiful girl that I'd been talking to and hanging out with for a little bit. We didn't know each other extremely well yet, but just from the previous dates we were both already super into each other and could talk for hours on end and had a lot in common.

I get to her place at midnight last night (I worked really late) and we watched Netflix, cuddled and talked until like 2 am. Then we started making out and over the course of another 2 hours that slowly escalated into taking pieces of clothing one by one and me fingering her, kissing on her boobs etc. I consider myself great at everything foreplay but very inexperienced with actual sex. I had her really wet and in the mood after a long, intamate foreplay session. (I was also hard for a lot of this, prior to removing all the clothes).

Then here came the messed up part. Everything was perfect the entire night up until I try to get a condom on and actually fuck her. It was like for no understood reason my dick just shriveled up to the point where we even tried to have sex but it literally just didn't work. I said I was embarrassed and sorry etc and she was completely nice about it, saying it's not a big deal at all and that she just enjoys cuddling without sex a lot too. So then we fell asleep together and then hungout in the morning for brunch and also went to the park.

Fine right? Well...

The most recent time I aroused the shit out of a woman and then underperformed sexually she hungout with me the next morning too, and then proceeded to virtually never speak to me again. It left a pretty terrible taste in my mouth. I'm not really bitter towards them because I understand why they'd be upset, but it's something I feel like I can't help which hurts deep down. I truly wanted to have sex. Among other things just so I can practice and get better! In addition to attraction too obviously (I know I'm not gay and refuse to hire a hooker lol). Because of anxiety about how I'll perform (I'm assuming) I just fail women though and it makes you feel really undesirable and shitty. Anyone else ever been here? Or had awkward first sex? Am I asexual? What's up with this shit? :/