Is it normal can it be changed or should i just stop drinking? (crier)

You're right, I do need to stop doing this to myself. Thank you.

Not sure, I mean I know on my third beer which was right after the first two, then a shot, then I was on my fourth pretty quick from playing circle of death drinking card game, the first round went quick, destroyed the circle, had to take the shot, then my third one not even an hour later. By that time I was getting sad for no reason other than remember thinking about my life and went in to the bathroom and cried, and was thinking on why the hell am I crying?

I mean what happened before going to the bathroom the guy who came over to my friends house was just goofing off and was play fighting me, my friend who is a woman, we are like brother and sister, she saw and said hey, no practicing on the best friend or i'll kick your ass. I tried to convince her everything was fine and he was just playing, next thing I know as they are dancing, I was already feeling sad before they danced suddenly I start thinking on what just happened and then thought about my life, boom I begin fighting the urge to cry, so then I went to the bathroom because I knew I wasn't going to be able to win the fight against it, so I locked the door. Looked in the mirror and started to cry.

I Then washed my face with water and went back out acting like nothing happened, later my best friend she had enough alcohol in her when we all went back to the table, after drinking more beer from the card game, and someone getting the waterfall and decided to chug a more than half full bottle of beer, eventually my best friend started talking about stuff, her life, she started to feel bad about something and like an idiot I confessed to them both that when I went to the bathroom I cried, right after confessing I went to the bathroom again saying shit. Forgot to lock the door, the guy knocked on the door and I replied, yes? Asked if I was okay, I crack open the door and told him just give me a minute, the door opened more and he tried to comfort me and managed to get me back to the table and then I was still crying but trying to hide it but failed miserably at it. Had a pizza next thing I know being asked on whats wrong I confessed that I don't like my life, and then I had the sudden urge to get upset as I was explaining myself, slammed my fist on the table, smashed the pizza in my hand. The thing is though, sober I am not sad about my life, I mean I have my moments, but I was okay that day until I got drunk.