Is it normal at the grocery store to look for produce to use as sex toys?

80% Normal
24 Comments

When I go shopping for groceries, I see so many items that could be used for sex toys that I get excited, often buying them to try out. Just in the produce department, there are cucumbers, ginger root (requires carving to shape), celery stalks, and egg plant, and thats just a small sampling.

When I buy these items, I always wonder if other customers realize why I got them and sometimes say something dumb like, "We're trying to eat more fresh vegetables," and feel like they're all looking at me thinking what a pervert!

IS IT NORMAL to be so obsessed with sex that I see vegetables and fruit as sex toys?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 69 votes (55 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    Listen up kumquat twat, how about you rig up a salad shooter to your cooter and rent yourself out at dinner parties.

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    • OswaldCobblepot
      11 years ago

      You're my hero.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    Meh. better buy organic then - cos you don't want to shove pesticides up your snatch.

    although technically even organics can have pesticides - just as long as they're natural.

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    • NotStrangeBird
      11 years ago

      Just imagine the OP getting poisoned in this manner and ending up as a vegetable...

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        11 years ago

        well that would be quite an ironic turnabout

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    Why do I get the feeling that the OP is male? Do buy any vegetables purely for eating or do only buy them for shoving up random orifices? How can you stick a eggplant up your bum since they are so HUGE? How does the ginger not sting after you've carved it?

    Is it normal? Sure... Just try not to get the produce stuck and buy organic. You don't want to be putting pesticides or GMOs in your tender areas, do you?

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    The title made me laugh. I can just imagine you scanning the isles and feeling up the produce seeing which would feel best in your vag.

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  • iin2want2know
    11 years ago

    So that was you at the grocery store eyeing the watermelons =-O

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  • Couman
    11 years ago

    Brenda, is that you?

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  • ryan2k12920
    11 years ago

    you dont need sex toys just use my tongue :P

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    • kinklu
      11 years ago

      That's a great idea. When are you available for egg plant shopping? Never mind if you aren't a female type girl.

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  • iezegrim
    11 years ago

    When you're young, you're as horny as hell, and you've got sex on the brain all the time. Completely normal.
    But can it interfere with a happy life? Yes, because it can cause chaos. I remember in college not being able to concentrate on lectures because I'd be thinking sex thoughts about the person next to me. I remember leaving my partner because I couldn't stand the thought of sexual monogamy and it ended up ruining my life.
    I am so much happier now that I'm a lot older and sex is no longer very important in my life. Sad? Maybe, but true. You don't miss what you rarely desire...

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    • kinklu
      11 years ago

      I wouldn't say sad except in the sense that we grow older every day. I've always had a libido as big as the Atlantic Ocean since I was in my early teens and got into a lot of trouble because of it. The trend seems to be toward polyamory now in the newest generations, instead of monogamy.

      Some think this is the more natural approach because it's based on the way our ancestors lived before they began to farm which entailed ownership of land, livestock, etc, resulting in the start of the patriarchal era. It's controversial and I'm not decided as to its truth.

      As you grow older and aren't so driven by nature to reproduce, you begin to achieve clarity of thought. You begin to see the big picture more clearly. I've learned much, and the dumb things I did in the past were the result of testosterone much like General Petraeus and all the rest.

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  • quentari
    11 years ago

    probably more hygienic to get that sort of stuff from a sex shop lol, but if you can't afford a dildo then I guess this would be a normal-ish substitute :P just remember to clean them thoroughly! or even better, put a condom over it!

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    • kinklu
      11 years ago

      Advice received in the spirit offered. Thanks.

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  • kinklu
    11 years ago

    Tsk! Tsk! I thought fresh vegetables were supposed to be good for you.

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  • Gravy
    11 years ago

    Completely normal. If you plan on sticking pieces of fruit and veg up your arse, shop wisely. Too late when you've inserted a water melon 1/2 into your cake hole and wished you'd purchase the eggplant.

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  • dude_Jones
    11 years ago

    Creative fetishes often belong to creative people. The world needs people like you that "think outside the box".

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  • NotStrangeBird
    11 years ago

    Do you make a salad with them after you're done?

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    • kinklu
      11 years ago

      No but it's an idea. Waste not, want not. You're rather creative.

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      • NotStrangeBird
        11 years ago

        ...Insert "creamy Italian" joke here...

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Haha this is so lols.

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  • redneckgirl1507
    11 years ago

    Don't cucumbers have spines on them?

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    • kinklu
      11 years ago

      No, but star fruit have spines so cruel looking that Tomás de Torquemada of the Spanish Inquisition would have drooled over this method of torture..

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