If you were reincarnated as an inanimate object which would you be?

If you were to die, but instead of being brought back to life as a human being or an animal, you were brought back as an object, with the ability to feel pleasure/enjoyment from doing your major function as that object, which of the following would you choose? Your lifespan would be dictated from the time you were put to use to the time you are discarded/thrown away.

Dildo 38
Surfboard/Snowboard 11
Music speaker 12
Airplane 14
Toilet seat 3
Race car/Motorbike 4
Hammock 4
Cinema screen 7
Slinky 5
Video game console 14
Explosive device 12
Mobile phone 6
Other (comment) 18
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Comments ( 43 )
  • anti-hero

    Do I get to choose my owner if I pick dildo?

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    • kingsleycrowne

      hahaha. Nope, inanimate objects don't pick their owners, their owners pick them.

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      • anti-hero

        I will go with slinky. I can't risk going up some hairy guy's ass.

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        • kingsleycrowne

          Haha yeah the dildo is so tempting but such a gamble lol

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        • IvyLockett

          Omg lol

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  • IrkenInvaderLesley

    A lamp. I would like to give light to those who need it. :)

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  • DolphinAngel

    A Plushie... I'd get cuddled all the time, my owner treated me good and I'd have an awesome life^^

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    • changes123

      Yeah no... my brothers did terrible thing to plushies. Just pray that you wouldn't get any owners like them. XD

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    • GreyWulfen

      Good idea.

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  • NeonLighterz

    A stuffed animal!

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    • anti-hero

      You must be a cuddler lol

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      • NeonLighterz

        yes ma'am I am.

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        • anti-hero

          Ouch! I am a woman now?

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          • NeonLighterz

            Oooooooooops. I don't know your gender!

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  • HaViKsCoVe

    is being a cheesesteak an option

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  • Avant-Garde

    A Violin.

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  • changes123

    I would want to be reincarnated as a violin. Someone will always play me and keep me content. :)

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  • DADNSCAL

    A mannequin in a women's dressing room.

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  • Melodeath

    I laughed too hard when I saw dildo as the first choice. I laughed harder at the comments right below it. I chose dildo. I'M WILLING TO TAKE THE RISKS.

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    • Thorolf

      I GOT too hard when I saw dildo as the first choice, if you know what I mean.

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  • howaminotmyself

    Off your list...hammock.

    Not on your list...a diamond.

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  • Curious-trans

    Hmm oh so many things but i think id go with porta potty it would be so amazing cobstantly just taking random strangers body fluids, mmm that would be such an amazing way to live

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  • Thorolf

    I'd be the mobile phone, for obvious reasons.

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  • IvyLockett

    A very soft, cuddly pillow.

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  • Legion

    sweet, id be a dodge viper! A cuda would also be awesome!!!!!

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  • vinylboy

    a toilet

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  • NoIdidntPackMyOwnluggage

    Gotta go with speaker, Dildo is too risky.

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  • GreyWulfen

    Dildo sounds tempting, but I don't really want to end up in a vagina, risk is too high. xD
    I'd want to be something explosive, just because.

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    • kingsleycrowne

      go out with a bang?

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      • GreyWulfen

        Indeed.

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  • Gumball

    The white house. Not.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers

    Music speaker

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  • dirtybirdy

    Hmmm...vice grips or jumper cables.

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    • NotStrangeBird

      I want to come back as your birdbath.

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      • dirtybirdy

        Please die right now. I'm filthy.

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  • bananaface

    I'd want one which lasts a long time, and which is used often, so I'd get the most enjoyment. I chose Cinema Screen, because they don't seem like things you'd throw away quickly, and they're used pretty often. I considered Hammock and Airplane too.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    A female urinal in an Indian girl college.

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    • Thorolf

      Perverted much?

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  • suckonthis9

    A dead human body of my former self.

    This incarnation, of my former self, on this planet of brain-dead politicos, is becoming frustrating and tiresome.

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