If you're financially better off than your friends....

17 Comments

Let's say you were poor in the past; really poor, but not homeless. All of your closest friends are poor too. Then one day, you luck out and receive an abundance of money that will last you the rest of your life, but it's not enough money to classify you as a millionaire. Let's say it's approximately $400,000(USD)/246,000(GBP)/284,000(EUR) annually. You still have to work to make it, but it's a lot more than the pittance you were making before.

You've been broke before and you know how your friends still struggle. You don't want them to resent you now, but you can't help but want to ease their burdens. What do you do?

If you don't find a selection that adequately describes how you would handle the situation, please, feel free to explain in the comments section.

Always pay for food and beverages when you get together. 12
Buy recreational toys and invite them to join you to share in the fun. 8
Always offer to drive because you know they can't afford the petrol. 7
All of the above, or things like it. Your friends appreciate it. 51
Other (Add a comment) 4
Be stingy. You don't want your friends taking advantage of you. 8
You wouldn't change anything. You are afraid of shaming your friends. 24
Get new batch friends who make just as much money. 6
Pretend being poor around your broke friends, but act normal otherwise 8
Share your money with them by giving them interest-free loans. 7
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Comments ( 17 )
  • DiscoDuck
    12 years ago | pl

    Fact IS, if you make that much more than your friends it causes a problem. Some will eventually leave and others will secretly resent you and start to mooch off you...actually none of them will be true friends anymore. Best to hold tight to your cash and enjoy life at their level when you are with them. That is don't be trying to buy $100 bottles of drinks and flash your lifestyle in their face.

    I've been there and done that, so I know for a fact. Better to just cut to the chase and move on....

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      You're answer seems the most realistic, unfortunately. I was surprised that so many people chose the treat-your-friends option, but it must come from a lack of experience & good nature combined.

      This poll is based on my life and I don't flaunt my money in front of my friends by buying them expensive drinks and gifts. The lousy part is, they make snide remarks about how "lucky" I am every now and then; in effect, betraying their true feelings (??I don't know for sure??). It's as though they have forgotten that I was worse off than them at one point in time.

      Still, I'm not sure that I want to make new friends from the income category that I'm currently in: they all seem awfully phony and superficial.

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      • DiscoDuck
        12 years ago

        Yes your "friends" will forget a lot about the past...like I said Been there, done that. I know all too well.

        And as far as making new friends in the same income bracket, yeah I know what you mean....not cool. Bottom line is old friend are out sooner or later, one way or the other. New friends will always come and most likely if you live a normal life that suites your income bracket and now "normal" lifestyle the new friends will be genuine and real...because they will have more things in common with your new life.

        For example I used to like to take my boat to restaurants some Fridays after work then spend the weekend on it. My old friends could tag along sure but this whole lifestyle was one that they could never afford and I was not about to give up my life to live theirs. This is just one of probably thousands of examples.

        Good Luck!!

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    • Smartasscookie
      12 years ago

      I agree, most people have picked the nice, generous options. But in reality humans as mostly selfish creatures will be unlikely to carry it through to the end. It's also really awkward for them if you keep paying for everything, people do have pride!

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  • wigsplitz
    12 years ago

    First, I wouldn't tell ANYONE, family or friends, that I had a lot of cash. Of course people would notice me buying things and wondering how I could afford it, I'd let them think I was working more and getting loans or something. Money ruins relationships.

    I picked option 2, I'd probably have a nice pond dug and get some new ATV's and such. I'd also probably have regular parties or cookouts and I'd provide food and drinks there.

    BTW, if I got $400,000, my family would never have to work again, easily.

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    • DiscoDuck
      12 years ago

      FYI, $400,000 is not a lot of money. Not enough to have one person set for life let alone a whole family. Once you have it, it spends pretty fast.

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      • derpyderp
        12 years ago

        The question mentioned $400k ANNUALLY.
        That's a decent income....

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      • wigsplitz
        12 years ago

        I'd have no problem. Sorry that most people would, that's sad.

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  • sweetlemon
    12 years ago

    umm.. Make/give jobs for them so they can live a better life.. :D

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  • AwkwardlyMe
    11 years ago

    If i were you i wouldn't want to create a situation where my friends treat me like a cash cow and take advantage of me. This is usually created by feeling like you have to pay for everything because you have money and they don't, or feeling guilty. i also wouldn't want to be overly stingy though. so for example if i was the one that wanted to go to some fancy expensive place and invited people, but also made them pay by themselves. (cause if this was the case i'd pay for them, and have them pay for the travel there.)

    I'd probably try to help them get a job or... like hire them (if able to do this) into the business.

    Your friends shouldn't want to treat you like a cash cow either and should be happy for you if somewhat jealous as that is human nature.

    Personally, i am what you'd consider poor (not homeless but not exactly able to go out every week). My best friend is well off, her family own 1/4 - 1/2 of her home country, however i don't expect her to buy me a lot of gifts and things.

    However when we go out, i do expect her to understand that i can't afford a really fancy place to eat or whatever. so we have common ground. I'm also the kind of person that doesn't like to FEEL poor so i don't let her buy me a lot of things, and when she does buy me something i make sure next time it's on me, or we split half. Make sense?

    If your friends do expect you to start paying for everything or like really expensive things (and i don't know if you are a guy or lady but if a guy no offense cause this tends to be the case for guys) just remind them that you are not made of money.

    Though just so you know you may lose a few friends on the way if they are not supportive of you.

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  • erwcat
    12 years ago

    money means connections,i would get all of them better paying jobs.
    and give awesome birthday gifts!

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  • sleepingbeauty
    12 years ago

    Find out who your real friends are. I don't have that many 'real' friends because over the years they have gradually been filtered and now whats left are true, supportive and non-judgemental.

    I would help them out if it was desperate, but other than that, like the rest of us, they have to find their own way.

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  • isitnormal2
    12 years ago

    I try to help my poor and "dumber" friends by helping them to make work for themselves. I am not a venture capitalist, or professional consultant, but I have a bit of business background, so I try to help them and discuss ideas with them and give them support.

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    • DiscoDuck
      12 years ago

      That does not work either. Poor and dumb people are poor and dumb because they lack the effort and drive to become anything but what they are.

      Remember this....Water Seeks it Own Level.

      This means that YOU the person inside will seek the level of wealth or standard of living that balances out with the type of person you are.

      This is what makes Joe Blow the cable guy only a cable guy all of his life even though he could be a Dentist. Joe is satisfied enough with his cable guy job and living enough to void out any further effort it would take to be otherwise.

      Final thing to remember.
      When you walk past a pool and see someone that appears to be drowning with their hand out, they may be reaching out to pull you in...not get pulled out. Trying to help Pigs out of a pig sty will only end up with you smelling like a pig. If you manage to get the Pig out, he will only return to his natural habitat.

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      • casualcrow
        12 years ago

        So much wordplay...so many analogies...

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  • Tisgranum
    12 years ago

    I would pay for a lot of stuff but it has to be done in a manner so that they can enjoy it and so that you don't feel used.

    Nothing wrong with picking up the check but you aren't to start paying everybody's rent either. After all, it's your money.

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  • Tehboss
    12 years ago

    why would you change just be like you always were and if you do something extra pay it for them :)

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