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If you had to decide in being childless and having a doctoral degree or having children and no education what would you decide? No monetary issues would exist.
| Good education and no children | 26 | |
| Children and no education | 9 |
I don't want kids and have already attained a level of formal education that I'm happy with.
I have both. Why would anyone have to choose?
I know that one might mean putting the other on hold temporarily if you aren't able to juggle your time like that, but I can't imagine a scenario in which one would mean the other could never happen if you truly wanted both.
Education, because I don't even want children.
For someone who wanted children and education equally in the moment, I think having children would be more fulfilling and lead to more happiness in the long run, especially because no monetary issues will occur either way here.
I'd get a marine biology degree & then make a swarm of nurse sharks my loving children.
Well yes, but you are far more gnarly and clever than the average countess.
One of my best friends has her marine bio phd.
It put her off working in the field :(
Too stark a dichotomy. A doctoral degree isn't much more useful than a Masters in getting you a job - in fact, I've read that it may even put employers off (in some fields).
I'm guessing you have a decision to make and I'm wondering if you've authored certain other posts on this site.
The life I'm living is one of a qualified, childless single female worker, aged nearly 30. I don't like living alone and am fairly sure my solitude is worsening my mental health issues. The greatest thing my education has done for me I think is teach me to think for myself, to know myself, to research things, to handle and interpret texts of all kinds from WhatsApp messages to academic articles, and to be peculiarly agnostic about ideas in vogue.
But... when I see a kid my heart melts. I can't bear to sit near mums kissing, cuddling or breastfeeding their babies because it makes me feel lonely.
There's the dichotomy.
Would you like to hear about all the NON-precious aspects of having kids?
Your education may or may not have helped you professionally BUT, right now your life belongs to you. No asshole husband to deal with, no screaming spoiled kids, no teachers, neighbors, nor relatives telling you what a rotten parent you are.
You and my room mate are about the same age and I tell her the same thing I just told you.
You can always have a kid if you want but once that kid arrives, your life and dating prospects dwindle to nothing.
Even today at age 44 I would still give about anything to have been able to have my freedom in my 20's.
Well, I'm sorry your husband turned out to be an asshole. Maybe mine (if I ever get one) won't. Maybe I'll have the kind of rapport with my neighbours and kids' teachers that enables them to help me be a better parent.
No two stories are alike. I'm fairly sure that marriage and kids will bring suffering. But there are different kinds of suffering, and I think I'd prefer that warm, intimate, human kind of suffering to the lonely, existential chill of having no-one to base my life around.
You are young enough though that marriage and kids could easily still be in the cards.
ON a side note, when people say single people need to get out there and meet...
Where in the hell is this "out there" anyways? It is kind of like when people use "they" in an arbitrary way.
Like "They say single people need to get out there"
Who is/are "they" anyways?
Languages, translation and interpreting (so, not English!!). It's enough though, to teach English as a foreign language. The study I read didn't specify which majors found it hard to find employment after a doctoral degree.
Just out of curiosity, did you go to college too? If so, what was your major?
I majored in RTVF, but I unfortunately dropped out to marry mistake number one.
I would love to time travel back to the early 90s, and give myself the same sort of mindset about love, sex and romance that I have now as I'm pushing 50 years old if that could even be possible.
I get you. But it's not too late to start again. Age discrimination is real. Or maybe, is it hard to set time and finances aside? I've noticed that that has got harder as I've got older, too.
I feel for you, Rose...
But if it's just age as a number, don't let it put you off. The 50-somethings working alongside me have as much and more energy than I have. It's actually quite common in the UK for women in their forties to change careers. I hope you manage to make the best of the rest of your working years. I'm very sorry to hear about what must have been a horrible marriage.
What is RTVF?
MORE important, what is your present mindset about lover, marriage, and sex?
I guess mine is this -
I would like a relationship, but I am not wanting to do much work to find/create one. If it falls in my lap, great. If not, heck with it.
I do not know what love even means.
Though there is no "Romance" but I can have sex on my own. Masturbation is a fraction of the experience of sex but with none of the risks, pressure, nor inconveniences.
I majored in Radio, Television, Film. Unfortunately, I dropped out to get married to mistake number one.
My present mindset is that I don't need, or want a lover. I don't think I'll ever get married again, because the first two times were mistakes, and not having sex ain't gonna kill me.
I'm certainly not perfect, but at least I can work on myself to improve upon my character defects. Other people on the other hand I am powerless over. I can't change other people, or make them change anything about themselves. I think the key is to accept, or reject others based on who, and what they are now. The only person I can change is myself if I so choose. If I want a fixer upper then I need to start saving up money to buy an old car to work on, because people can't be fixer uppers.
Sorry for the rant.
How about get to do what I love love for a living? No kids and only the basic education needed to get me there. That is what everyone shoukd strive for! In my opinion of course!
No kids. Stick with the education. Preferably something in the medical field.
One can always adopt? I mean it's good to have children to keep the population up but having a caste of super intellectuals with no offspring isnt going to help long term wise.
There will always be the group of poor, uneducated people popping out children that they can't take good care of (poverty, lack of education, and higher birthrates all go hand in hand).
Irl, I would consider adopting an underprivileged child if I had my own life in good order. It could turn a person who may otherwise become a burden upon the system into a productive, educated member of society.
Depends on what age you grab them at. A toddler would be fine but a 12 year old I would give a 50/50 chance of still being shit. The mannerism and foundation of attitude is hard to remove.
That's right. At 12 years old it's not just about instilling certain ways of living, but also getting rid of the former ones. A strong enough person may be able to do that, but the way I am, I don't see myself being able to handle a street kid who may have already started stealing and fighting.
Depends on what age you grab them at. A toddler would be fine but a 12 year old I would give a 50/50 chance of still being shit. The mannerism and foundation of attitude is hard to remove.
Having children is way more important. The Wests fertility rate is well below replacement level
Education an th day of the week, sooner I go to school sooner I'm under the water!
Family over education, alot of people go to college and still end up not working on the career(s) of your choice. So Kids over education for me.
I don't have kids, or a degree. I dropped out of school to marry mistake number one. I would love to go back in college. Sometimes I wish I had had child, however, I don't like the idea of being in the kind of pain that labor, and delivery would entail. I have literally thought that childbirth was terrifying ever since I saw my mom come out of the hospital in a wheelchair when she had my sister. Yes, I was told that everyone who has a baby comes out of the hospital in a wheelchair. I was three years old, and it really freaked me out. I just have never wanted to risk my life, and sacrifice so much for another person like good mothers typically do.
When I was a kid I wanted a grow to be like my father's favorite aunt who never got married. She served in the military in World War Two, and supposedly was in love with this British airman guy whose plane got shot down by the Germans. My great aunt was a very intelligent, and independent woman who always bought me books as presents. She died of lung cancer when I was a senior in high school if my memory serves me well.
I pretty much concentrate all of my maternal instincts on cats, and dogs; it's what feels most natural to me!
Most users, that I've noticed, are not hip to having kids. Call me "old fashioned" but I'd rather have my family. I know way too many people that went to college to make money. Most of them are in the same position I am; renting, well-fed, and not wanting for anything. I have no debt. I make really good money. I live in the best area for school systems. I only keep the best food in my house for my family. Education ain't shit.