If u dont hold grudges- does that make you a doormat?

6 Comments

Well im confused you see! I have the notion that its not good to hold onto things and let it go. Lifes too short, right! With having said that, I also get the impression that it makes one a push over if ur continuously forgiving everything and anything from trivial issues-major ones. So my question is that if u follow the quote that "lifes too short" and basically not hold grudges does that kinda make u a door mat??

Yea it makes you a big push over 3
No, it doesnt! 5
Depends how often you accept bad behaviour from people 6
Being a "door mat" has nothing to do with holdin grudges 9
Other - il explain 0
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Unimportant
    9 years ago

    I don't think that you can make a statement like "Not holding grudges makes you a door mat".

    I try not to hold grudges. Instead I attempt to evaluate people's actions from an omniscient, bird's-eye perspective. If they abuse my kindness, I just - without a warning - cut off all ties with them. I am not mad at them, they just aren't a part of my life anymore.

    Does that make one a door mat? I don't know.

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  • Jweezee
    9 years ago

    It doesn't make you a doormat, it makes you wise. Not holding a grudge isn't for their benefit, it's for yours. By harboring resentment you are compromising your emotional integrity. Why allow someone to rent that space in your head? Ever hear the saying that resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die? Don't permit the offender to hold your psyche hostage. Now, I am not saying that you should continue to associate, depending on the nature of the offense, with that person. To immediately ignore all transgressions is being a doormat. If you feel you've been wronged severely enough then sever all ties. If it's a minor aberration of their behavior then forgive but do not forget.

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  • wasd75
    9 years ago

    Hatred takes more effort then it's worth. However you need to stand up for yourself the moment someone wrongs you, and end the behavior then and there rather then walk away with a grudge.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Where do you see any correlation between holding grudges and being a doormat?
    Being a doormat is taking shit here and now; holding a grudge is long after the fact.
    Perhaps if you stand up for yourself, you won't have anything to hold a grudge over.

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  • howaminotmyself
    9 years ago

    Just because you forgive someone foest mean you forget. It isn't in my nature to hold a grudge, but that doesn't mean I continue to give of myself. Those people who crossed me are not my friends, but I spend no energy on hating them. It just isn't worth it.

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  • chained_rage
    9 years ago

    Life is long.

    I hold onto grudges like a mothershutmymouth.

    It doesn't make you a doormat, it makes you gullible.

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