If he's being mean to me, does that mean he's comfortable w me?

52% Normal
11 Comments

Okay guys in general can be jerks individually. So when my bf is being kind of playful mean to me, does that mean he likes me enough to be lose and kind of mean to me? Ive heard how guys can get nervous around girls and scared to be 100% themselves including messing w them. One of our things since we met is we tell each other to "fuck off" "stfu" and call each other "bitch." For example, I'll be like "do you miss me?" hell be like "yes bitch I do." Or were like driving around and I'm talking and hell be like whispering with a smile "stfu" and then he'll say "im jk aww" and laugh. For the majority part, its funny and we both laugh it off but sometimes I think he gets carried away and takes advantage of the fact that I go along w it. I did confront him once about to not tell me to stfu anymore then he was kind of shocked like "but thats what Ive always done to you..." and I'm like yes but it can come off as rude sometimes. So I guess he does find some comfort with me by playfully being mean. It kinda lets him be the guy/douche he is but at the same time not seriously. Is this a good thing? I wouldn't want to be that girl that intimidates him and makes him nervous to be himself. Do guys like feeling this comfortable with a girl? Does this mean he really likes me?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 27 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • DreamLover69
    9 years ago

    It means he disrespects you, he's a jerk, and you can do better. Dump him.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    So basically he's comfortable enough around you to be a loser.

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  • regisphilbin
    9 years ago

    he does it because your actions and words (or lack thereof) indicate that you're okay with it. see if his behavior changes when you tell him you don't feel comfortable when he says this stuff to you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Well yeah we mess around like that but I have gotten butthurt by it and tell him and he kinda gets shocked. So I guess he just doesnt mean to be mean, he's just comfortable being himself w me.

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  • theseeker
    9 years ago

    First off, not all guys are jerks. Guys can be sensitive as well. If anything, he's probably like this because he's unsure how to show his affection towards you. Guys tend to find that "mushy" stuff uncomfortable.

    It's not the kind of relationship I would want to be in, but it doesn't necessarily mean he's just a d-bag. Honestly, this probably wouldn't go well with most women for long. If it's done playfully and there's a mutual understanding there, then maybe some people are into it. If you're not completely comfortable with it, you should let him know you wanna be taken more seriously. If he can't respect that, then I would say he's a d-bag for sure.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      My bf is also sensitive. When he gets upset about something, he gets really closed off and rather have time off to himself. But when things are going fine, usually his personality comes off as aggressive but inn a playful manner. So when he acts like sort of mean with me, I usually taake it in a good way cause that means he's comfortable enough to be himself. Ive heard guys get nervous around some girls and feel like they cnt be themselves and they dnt like that. So the fact that he can let lose and be himself around me makes me feel good. As I said in my post, I have confronted him and he was shocked that I got butthurt because he knows we play like that so I guess the fact that he's innocent and doesn't mean to hurt my feelings makes it okay...

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      • theseeker
        9 years ago

        If you know his intentions are good and you're happy, then I don't see the problem, but that's the question. Are YOU happy with him doing this? You say you're ok with it, but you also say you have been butthurt by this, so it seems like you have mixed feelings.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          I do have mixed feelings so the question is, do guys tend to be this way when they feel comfortable around their girl which is a good thing? I just want to know if this is a good thing and if it is, then I'll feel better about it and won't get as butthurt anymore.

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          • theseeker
            9 years ago

            If he feels he can be this way around you, then like you said he obviously has a certain comfort level with you. In my opinion, I don't think most guys tend to be this way around a girl and as a guy myself, I don't see it as a good thing. For instance, around friends I would be that way because that's what guys do. Guys like to give each other shit in a joking way and there's a mutual understanding. Being around a girl is different though because girls are different than guys. I would never call my girlfriend bitch even in a joking way because I don't think a girl would appreciate that too much, and I just don't feel that is the proper way to treat a woman. Although, like I said if there's a mutual understanding between both of you, then it's cool I guess. Hopefully, that makes sense?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              Another thing that does annoy me is when he does it in front of others. It looks like he's always mean to me to others when its not true.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              Yeah okay. It's harder for others to understand it feels fine for me because not that I don't "appreciate" it but its more that I dnt mind it cause that's how we are. I dont find it offensive this way. Its like yeah i am his girl but i can also be his friend where he can ne himself 100%. I rather have that than someone who follows rules of how to be a gf/bf causs then it seems artficial and too much pressure on the partners. So yeah there is a mutual understanding and that makes me feel better.tt

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