I was "molested" and i think its affecting me more than i realize

57% Normal
3 Comments

Okay so I'll try to make this short...I'm an 18 year old girl and I was born with a kidney condition and to treat it they had to insert a tube into my urethra (just above the vagina) every year until I was about 12. This was an extremely painful, embarrassing, traumatizing procedure for me. I have never told anyone about it, only my family knows, and even they don't talk about it because they know how I feel about it.

Anyway, ever since I was little I have had night terrors/sex dreams involving the doctors who would do the procedure. The doctors were always women.

Coincidentally (perhaps), I have always had sexual feelings toward girls/women. It's hard for me to have a friendship with a girl without thinking of it in a sexual way. Also, even though I like boys, sex is extremely painful for me! My friends tell me that it's because I'm too nervous or "dry", but I know it's neither of those things. It absolutely KILLS when I have sex.

Basically I am wondering if my sexual feelings toward girls and my pain during sex have to do with my kidney procedures in the past? Could the reason sex is so painful be because psychologically I am scared to death of anything going near me down there? and could my lesbian tendencies be related to the female doctors invading me sexually?

Also, if you have ever had this procedure done to you please tell me! I have yet to find someone who had it done and I want to know if I am the only one who cringes when I think back on it... IIN?

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57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    If the doctor had to help you put it in and taking it out they didn't molest you. The reason they might give you a girl for these procedures is since females are not always comfortable with men performing these type of procedures.

    They will do this for gynecologists as well. If your condition is making it difficult to have sex I think you should consult the doctor about it. They would be able to tell you if its possible to have sex with your condition and sometimes peoples with certain conditions cant do things like "Have sex" comfortably.

    I also do think if you had this procedure done during your developmental stages it might have affected your sexuality. Since there has been cases of children being raped at young ages and it had a great affect on how they developed sexually so that is a possibility. However you cant say the doctor molested you simply for doing a medical procedure if they only did what was medically necessary.

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  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    I think it's perfectly normal for people to make mental associations to things that have hurt them in the past. It's human nature. I hate porn because my ex ruled it above me. It was a painful experience. Just don't let it ruin your life. If you find someone you can truely trust, it might become easier for you to have sex. But you know what, if you like women and your forcing yourself to want guys, it's not going to work. Weather it's because of your past or not, if you like women, then you like women. That's that.

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  • nicemason
    12 years ago

    so you think your associated the pain of your procedure with being attracted to women. (because either you don't want to have sex or the procedure makes sex so painful its inconveinent to have sex) However, If your attracted to women this kind of solves your problem unless they REALLY screwed up.

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