I was abandoned

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19 Comments

When I was a little girl my parents wanted to attend a New Year's Eve party. I was only 10 so they took me to the babysitters house...they never returned.
Later on in life, after living group homes until I was a teenager living with MUCH older men, basically being used as sex toy because I was a lone, female child. Bad stuff happened. Anyway at 18 I married an abusive man. I stayed under his thumb til I was nearly 30.
I can't form relationships. Friendships, romantic relationships, nothing. I feel nothing except sadness. Not anger nor bitterness just a sense of longing and the empty feeling of "why?"
Why can't I feel anything?

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 16 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • shuggy-chan
    9 years ago

    =( *hug*

    but what about Pets maybe, do you like animals?

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Yes, I have a cat, whom I love very much. She's been with me thru the bad marriage, the divorce and these last 8 yrs on my own. I would be lost and so lonely without her-she's very old & when she does leave me, a part of me will go with her :(

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        Cats and dogs make awesome, loving companions. With animals you can love each other unconditionally without the fear of getting hurt.
        (Hugs)
        :-)

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      • Crusades
        9 years ago

        Your nickname though...

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          What about it lol

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          • Crusades
            9 years ago

            Well it's kinda... all over the place

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago

              Explain?

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      • shuggy-chan
        9 years ago

        awww i know, its tough, my cat and dog both went almost 2 years ago. That cat i had since i was 5 and dog when i was 11. But if you have Pets your not really alone, and maybe you can find people that you connect with through your pet or a fellow love of animal. idk

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    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      PAWS UP!

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      • shuggy-chan
        9 years ago

        Tails up

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  • disthing
    9 years ago

    None of this is normal.

    Best of luck overcoming the bad hand life has dealt you.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Thanks. I'm not young-half of my life is over :(

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      • disthing
        9 years ago

        It's not insurmountable.

        Just think, you're free of the abusive relationships you were once in, you're grown up, you can recognise the bad things that happened in your life and are in a position to push them aside and forge your own way. Don't let the past drag you down as it has done before.

        You have to be strong for yourself, because you've still got half of a life to live. Nobody else will live it for you. Don't waste the chance to find some sense of happiness, or at least fulfilment.

        If you don't think you can do it alone, don't be afraid to reach out for help. Just use your experience to recognise which hands to hold and which hands to let go.

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  • Selfi3
    9 years ago

    Aw. Poor u

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  • iEatZombies_
    9 years ago

    What you went through isn't normal, how you react about it is.
    There really isn't a band-aid to cover this. Just know that you are normal, and try find a way to make peace with yourself. The friendships will come afterwards, during the right time. First thing is starting a healing process. Confront yourself, little by little, day by day. Remind yourself that you didn't go through this in vain. Just keep in mind, Life won't throw things at you that you can't handle. I wish I could help more.

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  • la_uva_mojada
    9 years ago

    that's weird your parents just disappeared like that. it makes me wonder if they were abducted or something

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Thank you for the kindness people :')

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Didn't authorities/child services attempt to find them? You knew where your previous residence was so, they should have been able to track them. Try looking at it from your parents eyes. It's understandable that you feel hurt but, they may have had a good reason for doing this.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Yes, child services stepped I and I was ward a of the Court. My mother and father went their separate ways that night, and by the next day my mothers was on her way to the middle of the country and my father "disappeared" which means he moved in with his lover. That's what my mother was doing, going to her lover.
      Of course they had their reasons. I'm not angry at them.

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